The Unemployable Ninja

In the heart of a bustling metropolis, far removed from the silent forests and shadowed temples of his past, a lone ninja wandered the streets, invisible in a sea of people who had no need for a man like him. Once, he was a master of stealth, combat, and assassination-a deadly weapon honed to perfection. But now, in a world where the deadliest threats were social media posts and spreadsheets, he found himself obsolete, his skills as outdated as a VHS tape in a digital world.

His search for work had been a disaster from the start. The ninja first tried his hand at an office job, thinking that perhaps, like his ancestors adapting to new challenges, he too could find a place in this strange, modern landscape. But it wasn't long before his instincts betrayed him. When his boss, a pudgy man in a cheap suit, berated him for his slow typing, the ninja perceived it as an assassination attempt. In a blur of motion, he unsheathed a letter opener and decapitated the man, his head rolling off the desk with a soft thud. The rest of the office barely had time to scream before the ninja, in a graceful dance of death, turned the cubicles into a battlefield. Papers flew like autumn leaves in a storm, and when the last stapler hit the ground, the ninja stood alone in the carnage, still feeling a deep emptiness inside.

He walked out of the building, the severance check tucked into his blood-stained robes, and continued his search.

Next, he was hired as a construction worker, a job that seemed straightforward enough. His task was demolition-something that resonated with his soul. But as he stood before the towering skyscraper, he couldn't bring himself to use the wrecking ball. Instead, he drew his katana and, with precise strikes, began to dismantle the building one beam at a time. Each cut was perfect, every swing lethal, until the structure groaned and collapsed in on itself, crushing the street below in a cloud of dust and debris. Dozens of bystanders were caught in the destruction, their bodies buried under the rubble. The ninja stood atop the pile, looking for some sign of approval from his employer, but all he saw were the horrified faces of the construction crew. The foreman, shaking with fear, handed him a pink slip and pointed to the horizon. The ninja nodded, pocketed the slip, and vanished into the dust clouds.