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The clock was about to strike 3.
Sleep was far away, I don't think I was going to sleep at all tonight, so instead of dwelling on my thoughts and crying over the husband I wanted for more than just two more months, I reached for the face mask I'd ordered last week and applied it, at least my skin can feel better.
He's not home.
I heard the door closing around two hours ago.
The house is too silent, the only sound I can hear is coming from the AC, I have turned it off four times, and my blanket is in his room. I don't want to go there but I don't want to get up either to turn the fan on.
The minutes dragged on as I sat there, feeling the face mask tighten on my skin. My mind yet again drifted off to wondering why Sahaj did what he did today, someone so unbothered was so quick to make assumptions.
As if he made up his mind and didn't want to hear anything else.
As if he was waiting for something to happen between me and Zaran so he could say all that.
I tried to push the thoughts away, focusing on the sensation of the mask instead.
The silence of the house weighed on me. It was unnatural, suffocating.
I finally stood up, the face mask stiffening my expression as I moved. My body felt heavy as if the weight of my emotions had seeped into my bones, making even the smallest movement an effort.
I walked towards the window, needing to see something beyond these four walls. The night outside was quiet, and peaceful in a way that mocked the chaos inside me. There was not a single bird making noise or an insect, just silence.
I used to love nights like this, where the world seemed to hold its breath, offering a moment of stillness. Now, it just felt like another reminder of how far I was from the peace I craved.
I leaned against the windowpane, letting the cool glass press against my forehead. The fan was still off, the air in the room growing warm but I couldn't bring myself to care.
A tear slipped down my cheek, getting caught in the mask. I wiped it away quickly, not wanting to break the fragile barrier I'd placed between myself and the pain. But it was useless. The tears kept coming, each one carrying a piece of the pain I was feeling. Not again, Seerat.
I finally turned away from the window, feeling drained. The mask was dry now, ready to be peeled off, but I didn't move, I felt too drained to even move my hands.
I didn't know what tomorrow would bring, or the day after that. Or the day after that.
I heard the door opening as I threw the peeled-off mask in the dustbin, I should try to sleep. I should stop thinking about him.
If I stopped thinking about him, I'll stop thinking about his words. Think about your favourite book. Remember when Celeste bought flowers for Chase? Remember when-
