insane // harry styles

chapter four

song of the chapter: robbers - the 1975

Harry's POV

A look of regret washed over her face and her mouth opened to say something, but she abruptly closed it as I slowly approached her.

I was bewildered at the fact she had said those words. Why would Aurora say that to me, if she knew that it would trigger my emotions? She was a psychiatrist, after all. Wasn't it important for her to say the right thing, for the sake of her job?

Out of aggravation, my breathing became heavier as my heart accelerated faster and faster until I could hear the thud thud thud in my mind. I ran over the thoughts and questions that were popping up in my head.

I couldn't believe it. She said she was here to help, but all she did was make the whole situation - and my mood - worse.

In the office, when she was talking to me, I was even beginning to like her.

She made it out like she actually cared, like she actually gave a damn about how I felt and like she wasn't going to leave me like everybody else did. I was beginning to believe that she was good for me. Heck, I was starting to tell myself to actually start knocking down the solid brick walls that I had built around myself just for her.

Now I believe that it was all a lie.

Enraged with anger, I towered over her small figure and clenched my fists as hard as I could. I was waiting for her to move away, but it seemed like she was frozen in place.

A part of my heart kind of felt bad for her. I did understand where she was coming from and why she had spilled those words out of her mouth, my attitude wasn't exactly the best.

Although, my mind kept forcing me to think otherwise. She provoked me. She betrayed me. She wanted to push me over the edge.

She wanted me to break.

"Harry, I didn't mean -"

I was like a volcano.

I was going to spew fire at any moment.

All the fury bottled up inside of me was released through the powerful swing of my left arm going straight towards Aurora's face.

Shit.

"Harry!" Aurora immediately screamed out, but I had already squeezed my eyes completely shut, not wanting to think about what just happened.

I just hit a girl. A girl. I just hit Aurora. The only person that I had left. I had never hit a girl before. Sure, I had taken a jab or two to some men and boys, but never a girl. My psychiatrist. The one that was supposed to be helping me. She's going to tell the government. I'm going to get taken away. I'm going to die.

"No, no, no, no, no," I muttered to myself, not wanting to see the aftermath of the destruction I had just caused. I have the tendency to do this often. I cause a trail of destruction wherever I go. I ruin lives and I can't fucking help it. I can't help myself, and I never will, now that I've knocked out the only person that could save me from the mess I was. God, I was a mess.

I heard a soft gasp escape her lips and I tried my hardest not to open my eyes, but I couldn't resist. As much as hurting her hurt me, I had to do something about it and not leave her for dead. I wasn't that kind of person.

As my eyes fluttered open and took a while to adjust to the blinding light from above, I realised that my fist was dripping with striking scarlet blood down to the concrete stairs. The cuts were way too deep and the punch scraped off quite a chunk of my skin. I winced in pain as it all hit me at once, the sensation burning through my nerves.