An Angel's smile//Drarry

XXIII

It was foolish of me to let my anger and jealousy take over like that. Him, saying that he had been the one holding Draco to comfort him all those years from the things I had said to him had triggered something in me. After years and years of controlling my emotions, this sudden outburst had escalated into a public fight. So much for my Golden Boy reputation. I would have to accept the responsibility of being to first to hit him and I would have to apologize, however awkward it may be. I should also be careful in case he provokes me again and make sure I don't lose my temper. Nevertheless, I couldn't be gladder that my angel was back at Hogwarts although I had a feeling he wasn't doing so well. I shouldn't trouble him with trivial matters like a fight between me and an old friend of his. I couldn't help, but wonder, how close Draco and Blaise must've been in the past. I wondered how often they had sat together in class, how often they had shared their deepest secrets, how often they had hugged. I wondered if they'd ever held hands, or perhaps more...I couldn't shake this sudden feeling of guilt and regret that I now felt towards him. I had only realized now what I had done to him in the past and how hung up on it he must've been.

 Had he cried in Blaise's arms every time? How was it even possible that he liked me? I had only worsened all his darkest thoughts about himself, I'd humiliated and deceived him and hurt him. Yet he liked me. And I liked him back. But was I even worthy of liking him? Would I be able to make him happy in the future or would we inevitably go back to our rivalry and our feelings of hatred for each other?

I was sitting around the fireplace in the common room with Hermione and Ginny. It was strange to have the same assignments and lessons as Ginny who was a year younger than us, but we still gathered to help each other with homework. It was mostly Hermione doing the helping, I was okay in every subject, but explaining it was something else, plus my mind was elsewhere. "Are you alright Harry? You haven't even touched your quill since we've begun our study session.", Hermione sighed, giving me a concerned look. Ginny chuckled, looking up as well, and adding: "And you've also got a daft expression on your face.". I smiled at them and gathered my books and bag. "Sorry guys, I have some stuff on my mind. We'll do this again some other time! I'll make it up to both of you.'.

I went up to my room and threw my books on my bed. I put on the first sweater I found in my trunk and grabbed my broom. I needed to clear my head.

As I started walking towards the Quidditch Pitch I noticed the whispers around me. They had pretty much stopped earlier in the year because, well, most students already knew me from before, and others had grown accustomed to my presence. This wasn't that. I felt their eyes on me like piercing knives and their whispers were all I could hear. The corridors seemed so crowded to the point where I felt surrounded and suffocated. The shuffling of feet on the stone floors, the loud breaths of my fellow students, their stares that were screaming at me. Everyone was looking at me, everyone was talking about me. The walls were closing in and so were the students, they kept pushing around me, tugging at my robes. I felt myself getting dizzy and sick in my skin. I had to get out of there.

Before I knew it I had started sprinting through the corridors until I ran out of breath and the crowd had disappeared. I looked around. I hadn't even realized I had run past the courtyard. I was close to the Great Hall and the Hospital Wing. I immediately caught a whiff of platinum hair in my gaze and turned to search for it. I'm not sure why, but knowing Draco was close by had made a wave of relief wash over me. I looked for him again only to see him laughing with Pansy and Blaise by the entrance of the Hospital Wing. He didn't tell me Blaise was going to be there. And what were they even doing next to the Hospital Wing? I sighed. The relief I had felt had already gone away and I felt on edge again. I really did hate myself for it. How could I be so selfish as to want him to stop hanging around with Blaise? Draco had nothing to do with my sudden personal vendetta against Blaise. Yet I could feel my jealousy consume me. I stormed away from there towards the Pitch. Perhaps I had hurried out of there because I was so fed up with my bad temper and was scared that I'd steal Draco away from his friends.