An Angel's smile//Drarry

II

I've never felt so alone as when I was walking down the train, trying to find a compartment. As I walked past the Gryffindors, Hufflepufs, Ravenclaws, and even some Slytherins, I was yelled at. Insulted. Some 5th year tried to hex me, I was going to let him, but one of the 6th years told him that if he did, I was going to boil him above a fire and curse him to a slippery, painful life. He quickly backed off.

Rumors about me had spread, rumors that I was evil, that I killed Dumbledore. Which I guess are technically true.

I felt at ease walking into an empty compartment, Blaise and Pansy waiting for me inside. "Hey.", Pansy smiled, "How are you? We haven't been able to see each other.". She tried to hug me but quickly backed up after remembering I hated it when people touched me. I didn't exactly have fond memories of people touching me. Pansy gave me a handshake instead, and so did Blaise, I appreciated both.

I hadn't been able to see either of them because my mother and I had been in lockdown inside our house. There had been an Auror outside our house at all times, to keep an eye out for us and protect us as well. Potter's fans were extremely dangerous to us, throwing rocks at our windows and spraying graffiti onto the walls.

The three of us had some catching up to do, as well as change into our robes which I had conveniently done at home. I had no need to show the dark mark on my skin or see the ones on Pansy's and Blaise's. Sooner or later Hogwarts came into sight and the train came to a halt.

We waited for most people to go first so we wouldn't have to meet their stares just yet, and took the last carriage available. This was the first time I saw one of the Thestrals, it was a beautiful majestic creature, reminding me a lot of myself for some reason although I wasn't quite sure why.

The dahlias surrounding the path to Hogwarts were so pretty, that I'd never really noticed. I was always busy with other things such as pretending not to care, or obsessing over Potter. I hope this year will be different, I hope this year I will care, maybe even make new friends.

Ha, who was I kidding? I'm not going to survive a single day back at school, I used to have my pride to protect me, now all I have is a wand I haven't been able to use in so long. My wand was confiscated after the war, my dad went to jail and my mother had to move because the neighbors started breaking into our house and breaking random shit.

"I hope you don't mind us joining you. This is the last carriage.", a voice said. I didn't dare look up, I was unable to look her in the eyes. Hermione Granger, I had caused her so much pain. I just can't, my bad behavior and memories will always haunt me, no matter where I look or what I think about, it always comes back to me being an absolute arse.

Weasley was with her of course, they had apparently started dating. Good for them, as long as they don't talk about it, I could almost say I'm happy for them if it weren't for my depression.

Happy, an emotion I haven't felt for years, or maybe that wasn't quite true. I felt a glimpse of happiness, a glimpse of hope when Potter turned out to be alive and jumped out of Hagrid's arms.

Last, but not least; Scarhead. I didn't even know where to begin. He was the boy who lived, the boy who died twice. I wonder what dying feels like. Maybe I should ask him after I stop being the prick people expect me to be, the prick I was forced to be by my very own flesh and blood.

Potter was my rival in school, my enemy. Yet he saved my life. Me. And insignificant little twat that frankly, should've stayed dead.

I couldn't bear to look at any of them, I looked back at the Dahlias. They created this strange harmony in my head, an inner peace if you wish, although that would be too positive to fit into my negative.

***

As soon as I had entered the Great Hall, I was immediately met with silence and a lot of stares. I had trouble breathing, feeling as if I was drowning in stares. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Pansy smiled at me, bringing me to the Slytherin table. The 2nd years previously sitting there, quickly moved. "Death eater!", I heard someone yell at me. I ignored it, I was used to it by now, but it still hurt.

Barely a few seconds after my terrible entrance, the students started applauding Potter. I turned to stare at him, Weasley and Granger by his side. He put a smile on his face, but I could see his eyes weren't in coordination with his mouth. He looked awkward and tired, feelings that I recognized immediately.

He went to sit at the Gryffindor table, greeting everyone and then staring at his food. Potter lifted his head, meeting my gaze. My eyes widened and I quickly looked away. I stuffed the food in my mouth, chewed the lukewarm meat, and swallowed it reluctantly, knowing my body would vomit it out later.

I could see Professor McGonagall standing up, hitting her glass with her spoon. The room instantly went quiet. "Welcome to the first years and welcome back to the rest of you. The school is still not completely rebuild so some classes will be in different classrooms. We also have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, please welcome Professor Sweet.", she announced, gesturing to the young man that smiled at the crowd, "This specifically is a message to the 8th years who will be returning under unfortunate circumstances, there is, unfortunately, no space available in your usual house dormitories so you will all be staying in the room of requirement together. Now, please do enjoy the food!".

I heard reluctant groans all around me, from all houses, belonging to the 8th years. They were probably complaining about having to share a dorm with Slytherins, with me.

***

I luckily got to share a room with Blaise, a friend. While he was putting his pajama on, I snuck out of our room and to the shared bathroom, puke splashing into the toilet. I felt sick. I was sick.

I sat against the bathroom stall, taking deep breaths when I heard someone come in. I quickly closed the door and locked it. "Draco? You in here?", I heard Blaise question. I let out a breath I hadn't known I'd been holding, relief washing over me. It could've been anyone, it could've been him.