An Angel's smile//Drarry

VIII

I couldn't believe what had just happened. Blaise was supposed to be my friend. My best friend. Now all I had was Pansy, who you could barely call a friend at all. I guess I deserved it, didn't I? I guess it was my fault? I shouldn't have bothered Blaise with all my problems, not after what happened last year.

Right before the battle of Hogwarts, I had fled Malfoy Manor, to go fight, with the help of Blaise. On our way to the castle, he told me the way he felt about me. That he was bisexual and that he had a thing for me. I'd never really thought of Blaise that way, or guys in general, but it did get me thinking. Having a relationship with a guy couldn't be very different from a relationship with a girl, could it? I mean there were no boobs or pussy, but that didn't seem like a problem to me. I'd never felt attracted to any girl before anyways. Blaise was pretty sad after I'd rejected him, but he hid it well. I was actually pretty surprised when he brought it up again a few days back.

Was there anyone that I was actually attracted to? I mean... Potter wasn't bad looking... BUT I'D NEVER FEEL ANYTHING FOR HIM! Especially not when he seemed to pop up every time I was in trouble. Every. Time. It was pretty annoying.

When he'd caught me after my fight with Blaise, I ran away as fast as I could. My feet brought me to a place where I felt a bit safer; the girl's lavatory. I used to come here when I was sad and talk to moaning myrtle. It had been a while since I'd seen her, maybe she'd moved? She used to always talk about Potter, tell me things he did, or talk about what a stud he was. I mean, she was not wrong per se. I walked in and immediately felt a wave of comfort.

The brick was in a different direction, meaning they'd read my note. I opened the diary again to read their message.

It's okay to be doing bad. You're not the only one. ¼ people struggle with mental health at some point in their life. Sorry, I shouldn't have brought up statistics, I know what they can do to a person. About eating, don't try to force yourself to eat, even when you're hungry. Take little bites, little portions at first and then you can slowly start eating more. It'll help, I've been there before. Pain helping is normal. It helps me too in times of depression or times when I want to give up. Something tells me that it would be stupid to give up now, after everything we've accomplished. Just maybe try hurting yourself less over time to a point where you won't be used to the pain anymore.

Wow. They knew what they were talking about and some of it was actually pretty fine advice. I'd never tried to progress slowly, maybe just maybe it would go better. I scribbled an answer, thanking them for trying to help me. Then I put the brick back in place and walked out of the restroom. I was immediately met with Pansy. "Draco, what were you doing in there?", she asked, looking over my shoulder to the entrance, curious. "What do you think I was doing?", I answered, raising a brow at her. She nodded quietly then gestured for me to follow her. "I heard you got into a fight with Blaise.", she said, "You should maybe sleep somewhere else tonight. He's still pretty pissed off and I'm honestly scared he'll strangle you in your sleep.". She smiled at me, I wasn't sure if it was meant as a joke or if she was serious, but I was sleeping in the common room. No, I don't have a will to live, I just didn't feel like seeing Blaise and having to confront him. I was tired, I wanted to sleep.

As I was lying under a blanket in an armchair in the corner of the room, my mind found its way back to Potter as it had done so many times during the years before the war. He'd always been on my mind, an obsession. I wondered if I should apologize for pushing him. I probably should, I've been a jerk for so long, I really needed to try stepping up my game and being nicer to my fellow classmates. The mystery person had given me hope and motivation to do so. I would've probably thought about Potter for another hour if I hadn't been tired enough to fall asleep.

***

The news of Blaise changing rooms was brought to me by McGonagall that very same morning. She'd told me when I was eating breakfast since I always came the earliest of all students to not be seen by as many people. She'd brought me to her office and explained the situation. I would be assigned a new roommate and so would Blaise, and we weren't allowed to change back. He must've been really angry at me. She hadn't told me who my roommate would be as she hadn't chosen a pair yet, but I had a feeling about who it could be.

***

I saw Potter in a corridor later that morning. I decided this would be the perfect moment to apologize. "Hey Potter.", I said, walking up to him. He quickly turned around, he looked annoyed. I hoped he wouldn't notice the nervous look on my face. "I wanted to apologize for pushing you away yesterday. I was quite upset about an argument I had with Blaise. I don't know if you heard our conversation, but if you did, please keep it to yourself. That includes what you saw in my room with the blood. Anyways thanks again for helping me with the bandages.". Potter leaned against the wall, looking at me curiously. "It's fine Malfoy, you really shouldn't get used to me saving you, it's no big deal.", he shrugged as his eyes scanned my body from head to toe and back. I raised a brow, was he serious? "Sounds more like you're the one getting used to saving me.", I answered smugly to which he chuckled. "Touché.". He looked at me when suddenly his expression changed into curiosity and intrigue. It was only then that I realized that I was smiling at him. I must've looked stupid because he wouldn't stop staring. I mumbled goodbye and ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction. What was this feeling? I could feel myself getting all warm inside and red in the face, it must be embarrassment. It had to be.

***

I walked back to my dorm, passing the many students that hated me along the way. Even in the common room, people still whispered about my presence. As I entered my room, one-half of it was completely deserted. I guess Blaise already moved out, huh? I bet he couldn't wait to be rid of me. It looked weird, the bed without an owner on the other side of my room. I was used to being alone, but I wasn't used to being without Blaise. Now, I had even fewer friends. I refused to admit it, but I missed Goyle. At least, he never left my side. The only reason he wasn't here at Hogwarts was because of Crabbe's unfortunate death. They were like brothers, best friends, Goyle wasn't doing so great since that moment.

Moments later, when I came back from class that morning, somebody had installed their stuff in my room. That fast? They weren't in the room themselves, but I could see it was a Gryffindor because of the red banners they'd hung on the wall. It better not be...

The door creaked open and a person stepped inside of the room. I looked behind me, Harry bloody Potter. "Don't tell me-", I started, but he rudely interrupted me, "Yes. Look, I don't like this either, let's just stay out of each other's ways.", he said. He closed the door behind him and started unpacking further. I just stood there. I just couldn't believe I was actually sharing a room with Potter. I kept staring at him, observing his strong features. I guess I'd never really noticed he'd grown, his face had become more masculine and his jaw more visible and wide. He must've noticed I was staring because he turned around to look at me. His eyes were so beautiful, but they were different from before. I remembered his eyes having a spark in them that used to love watching. I couldn't see it anymore. "Malfoy?", he asked looking at me, I hummed in response. "Are you going to keep staring at me?", he questioned, raising a brow. My eyes widened in surprise and I swiftly backed up out of the room. I swear I heard Potter chuckle on the other end of the door.