Tangled Affections

13.

Freen's PoV

The next morning, I woke up with a heavy weight in my chest, a mixture of guilt and confusion gnawing at my insides. The image of Becky's small, worn-down apartment refused to leave my mind. It was so different from the world I was used to—a world where everything was handed to me on a silver platter, where I never had to worry about anything more than my grades or my reputation. And yet, there Becky was, surviving in that crumbling building, with a strength I could barely comprehend.

I tried to shake it off, to focus on my routine, but the guilt was relentless. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the look on her face when she turned to wave at me before disappearing into that dark doorway. It was as if I could feel her struggles in the quiet desperation of that wave, and it made me sick to my stomach.

As I got ready for school, memories of all the cruel things I'd done to her began to play in my mind like a twisted reel. The ink on her uniform, the harsh words, the cold stares—I had been so consumed by my jealousy and anger that I never stopped to consider what Becky might be going through. All I saw was a threat, someone who was taking away the attention that should have been mine. But now, all I could see was the pain I must have caused her.

When I arrived at school, I could barely meet anyone's gaze. The usual excitement of seeing my friends, the energy of the school grounds—it all felt dull and meaningless. I felt like a fraud, walking among them with this terrible secret buried deep inside me. A secret I couldn't tell anyone, not even Yuki.

Especially not Yuki.

Becky was already in class when I walked in, sitting quietly at her desk with her head down, as if trying to make herself invisible. My heart twisted at the sight of her, and I had to force myself to keep my expression neutral, to not give anything away. I couldn't let anyone know that we were connected outside of school. It would raise too many questions, questions I wasn't ready to answer.

But as the day went on, I found it harder and harder to maintain that distance. Every time I saw someone glance in Becky's direction, every time I heard a whisper or a snicker, I felt a surge of protectiveness rise up inside me. I wanted to tell them to shut up, to leave her alone. I wanted to shield her from every cruel word, every sideways glance. But I couldn't. I couldn't do anything without blowing our cover, without revealing the truth of our tutoring sessions.

So, I stayed silent, biting my tongue until it hurt, my hands clenched into fists under the desk. I had to remind myself, over and over, that this was for the best. That no one could know.

By lunch, I was at my breaking point. I saw Becky walking down the hallway, a few steps behind Yuki. Some of the other students were watching her, whispering among themselves, and I felt a surge of anger that I barely managed to contain. When one of them moved closer, as if to say something to Becky, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Hey," I snapped, stepping in front of the girl. "Back off."

The girl looked startled, her eyes widening as she recognized me. "Freen? What's your problem?"

I forced a cold smile, one I'd perfected over the years. "Just leave her alone, alright?"

The girl seemed confused, but she nodded, backing away quickly. I turned to Becky, who was staring at me with a mixture of confusion and disbelief. For a moment, our eyes met, and I could see the questions swirling in her gaze—questions I couldn't answer. Not here. Not now.

"Get to class," I muttered, my voice rougher than I intended. "You're going to be late."

She blinked, then nodded slowly, her expression unreadable. "Okay."

I watched her walk away, my heart pounding in my chest. I knew I was walking a dangerous line, that every time I intervened like that, I was risking everything. But I couldn't help it. Every time I saw someone try to hurt her, I felt that same protective instinct flare up inside me, and it was getting harder and harder to control.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of stolen glances and awkward silences. I couldn't stop thinking about her, couldn't stop worrying about what might happen if anyone found out about our connection. The guilt was a constant presence, a heavy weight pressing down on me, but so was something else—something I didn't want to acknowledge.

Affection.

That's what it was. As much as I tried to deny it, as much as I tried to push it down, I couldn't ignore the growing feelings inside me. They were confusing and terrifying, and I didn't know what to do with them. All I knew was that every time I looked at Becky, every time I heard her voice or saw her smile, that knot of guilt and affection tightened, making it harder to breathe.

When school finally ended, I was more than ready to leave. I didn't wait for anyone, didn't make excuses—I just grabbed my things and headed straight for the parking lot. I had to clear my head, had to get away from the walls that seemed to be closing in on me.

But as I reached my car, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned to see Becky, standing a few feet away, looking hesitant and unsure. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of her, and I had to force myself to stay calm.

"Freen," she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

I swallowed hard, my heart pounding in my chest. "Yeah?"

"Are you... Are you okay?"

The question caught me off guard. She was asking about me? After everything I'd done to her, she was worried about me? The guilt surged up again, making my chest ache.

"I'm fine," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She hesitated, then nodded, though I could see the doubt in her eyes. "I just... I wanted to make sure."

I didn't know what to say to that. The words stuck in my throat, tangled up with everything I was feeling, everything I was trying to hide. So, I just nodded, trying to give her a reassuring smile. But it felt fake, forced, like everything else I was doing.

"Thanks," I managed to say, though it felt hollow.

She nodded again, then turned and walked away, leaving me standing there with my heart in my throat. As I watched her go, I knew that things were changing between us, whether I liked it or not. The secret we shared was pulling us closer together, even as it threatened to tear us apart. And I didn't know how much longer I could keep it up.

That night, as I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, all I could think about was Becky—her quiet strength, her kindness, the way she'd asked if I was okay. The guilt was still there, gnawing at me, but so was something else. Something I was too scared to admit to myself.

Because the truth was, I was falling for her. And I didn't know how to stop.

............