Tangled Affections

39.

The moment Becky collapsed into my arms, a knot of fear tightened in my chest, and it hasn't left since. Now, I'm sitting beside her in our room, watching her sleep fitfully. Her face is pale, her breathing shallow. I reach out, gently stroking her hair away from her forehead, wishing I could somehow take away whatever pain she's buried deep inside. I've never seen her like this—so fragile, so broken. The Becky I know is strong, brave, and full of life. Seeing her like this makes my heart ache.

I keep a close eye on her, my thoughts spiraling with concern. What happened in that cafeteria today? Who was that woman, and why did Becky react like that? I can't shake the image of Becky's terrified eyes, the way she trembled as if she'd seen a ghost. I need to know what's going on, but I'm afraid of pushing her too hard.

Finally, after what feels like hours, Becky stirs awake. Her eyes flutter open, and she looks around the room, disoriented. When her gaze lands on me, I give her a small, reassuring smile. "Hey, you're awake," I say softly. "How are you feeling?"

She doesn't answer immediately. She just stares at me, her eyes hollow and filled with something I can't quite place—fear, maybe? Shame? My chest tightens. I reach for her hand, but she pulls away, and the rejection stings. "Becky, talk to me. What happened back there? Who was that woman?"

Becky looks away, her lips trembling. She's quiet for a long moment, and I can see she's struggling to find the right words—or any words at all. Her silence is heavy, suffocating. Finally, she whispers, "You should stay away from me, Freen."

My heart sinks. "What are you talking about?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady. "Why would I stay away from you?"

She turns back to me, tears welling up in her eyes. "Because I don't deserve you, Freen. I never have."

The pain in her voice cuts through me like a knife. "Don't say that," I whisper, moving closer. "Please, don't say that. You know that's not true."

She shakes her head, more tears streaming down her cheeks. "You don't know what I've been through, what I've done... I'm... I'm broken, Freen. And I'm scared that if you know, you'll look at me differently."

"Becky..." I begin, my voice catching. "I could never look at you differently. Whatever it is, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Please, trust me."

For a moment, she looks like she's about to retreat again, to shut down completely. But then, something shifts in her eyes. She takes a shaky breath, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I... I had a nightmare, Freen. A nightmare that became real today."

I don't interrupt her. I just listen, my heart beating wildly in my chest, waiting for her to continue. She closes her eyes, gathering the strength to speak. "When I was a kid... back in the orphanage... this woman came one day, saying she was my mother. She took me away from the orphanage, and I thought I was going to have a family, a real family. But... but she wasn't my mother."

Becky's voice trembles, and I can see how hard this is for her. My heart is already breaking for her, but I don't say anything. I need to let her finish.

"She... she gave me to her son," Becky continues, her voice barely audible. "I was just a kid, Freen. A helpless little kid. And he... he... hurt me. Every day. He... he enjoyed it." Her voice breaks on the last word, and my stomach churns. A hot wave of anger and sorrow floods through me. I feel like I'm going to be sick, but I keep it together for Becky.

Tears are streaming down her face now, and I want nothing more than to reach out and hold her, to protect her from everything that's ever hurt her. But I stay still, letting her speak.

"I was scared. I didn't know what was happening. I just wanted it to stop, but it wouldn't. It wouldn't stop." She's trembling now, her breaths coming in ragged gasps. "The police found me eventually and took me back to the orphanage. They said they'd help me forget, that I'd be safe again... but, Freen, I could never forget."

I feel like my heart is shattering into a million pieces. I've never imagined Becky went through something like this. I knew she had her struggles, but this... this is beyond anything I could have imagined. I swallow the lump in my throat, my voice trembling as I speak. "Becky... I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you went through that."

She looks at me, her eyes filled with a mix of fear and shame. "That woman today... she said she was my mother. She's Rose's mom, Freen. And all I could think about was that it was happening again, that... that I'd be taken again." She chokes on a sob, her body shaking. "I'm scared, Freen. I'm so scared."

I don't hesitate anymore. I pull her into my arms, holding her as tightly as I can. "I'm here, Becky," I whisper into her hair, my own tears falling freely now. "I'm here, and I'm not going to let anyone hurt you ever again. You're safe with me. Always."

She clings to me like I'm her lifeline, her sobs wracking her body. I stroke her hair, whispering soothing words, though my own heart is breaking. I've never felt so helpless in my life. I want to take away all her pain, to erase the horrors she's lived through, but I can't. All I can do is be here for her now.

After a long while, her sobs begin to quiet down, but she still doesn't let go. Her voice is a broken whisper against my shoulder. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry I pushed you away. I just... I didn't want you to see me like this."

I pull back slightly, cupping her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me. "Becky, you don't ever have to hide from me. Not ever. I love you—every part of you. And nothing, nothing, will ever change that."

Her eyes search mine, and for the first time in what feels like an eternity, I see a flicker of hope in them. She nods slowly, and I lean in, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "We'll get through this, together," I promise. "You're not alone anymore."

She takes a deep breath, nodding again, and I know it's going to be a long road ahead. But I'm willing to walk it with her, every step of the way. Because Becky isn't just someone I love—she's a part of me. And I'll fight for her, no matter what.

........