the fire between us

chapter 12

As we sit in the room, the tension between us thick enough to cut with a knife, I gather the courage to ask the question that's been gnawing at me since I saw the notifications on my phone.

"Why is there a video going around of you crying at tonight's concert?" I ask, my voice laced with concern and confusion.

Martinus shifts uncomfortably, his gaze dropping to the floor. "Because I cried," he replies simply, the weight of his emotions clear in his voice.

"Why?" I press, needing to understand.

He hesitates, his hands fidgeting in his lap. "Y/N, it doesn't matter."

I sigh in frustration, turning away from him. "This is not a very good way to start a conversation," I say, my tone sharper than I intend.

Martinus sighs deeply, the sound filled with regret. "I cried because I'm sad about how we are right now."

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. I whip my head around to look at him, my heart pounding. "You cried because of me?" I ask, my voice small and uncertain.

"Yes," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—" I start, but he cuts me off before I can finish.

"You didn't make me cry, Y/N," he says firmly, his eyes locking onto mine with an intensity that makes my breath catch. "I made myself cry because of how our situation is right now."

I nod slowly, the truth of his words sinking in. The guilt I've been carrying feels even heavier now, knowing that our strained relationship has affected him this deeply. We sit there in silence for a moment, the air thick with unspoken words and shared pain.

Finally, I manage to speak, my voice barely more than a whisper. "I didn't know it hurt you this much."

Martinus's expression softens, and he reaches out, gently taking my hand in his. "It hurts because I care about you, Y/N. I don't want us to be like this. I want to fix things."

His touch is warm, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I feel a glimmer of hope. We're both hurting, but maybe, just maybe, we can find a way to heal together.

Martinus fidgets nervously, the weight of his confession pressing down on him. I can see the turmoil in his eyes, the struggle between wanting to protect me and needing to be honest. The tension in the room is almost unbearable as he finally decides to speak.

"Y/N," he begins, his voice shaky but determined, "I've been thinking a lot, and I've decided that I need to tell you what Nora and I talked about that night at the party."

My heart skips a beat. This is what I've been waiting for, the explanation I need to make sense of everything. I nod slowly, signaling for him to continue. "Okay, I'm listening."

He hesitates for a moment, his gaze flickering between my eyes and the floor. "But before I start, I need to know what you heard me say that night."

I furrow my brows, slightly taken aback by the request. "Are you planning to change the story based on what I heard?" The suspicion in my voice is unintentional, but it's there all the same.

He quickly shakes his head, his expression earnest and almost pleading. "No, Y/N. I'm not trying to twist anything. I just... I want to make sure I tell you everything in the right way. I want to be clear about it all."

I study him for a moment, trying to gauge his sincerity. The anxiety in his eyes is unmistakable, and I can see how much this is costing him. Finally, I nod, deciding to trust him. "All I really heard was Nora saying you needed to tell me something, and you responding that you didn't want to hurt me."