the fire between us

chapter 19

⚠️Content Warning: The upcoming chapters will delve into sensitive and potentially distressing themes, including death, funerals, and feelings of loneliness. These topics will be explored in depth and may evoke strong emotions. If you find these subjects challenging or triggering, please take care of yourself and proceed with caution. It's important to prioritize your well-being and seek support if needed. Thank you for your understanding.

This content warning will precede each chapter that includes these themes, so you can make informed decisions about your reading experience. The warning will be removed once these themes are no longer central to the narrative.

Thank you for your understanding and for taking care of yourself.⚠️

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As the words leave my lips, I feel my knees give way beneath me, and I collapse to the cold, unforgiving floor, my body trembling uncontrollably. I fall to my knees, tears streaming down my face as sobs tear through my chest, each one more agonizing than the last.

"She's my only family," I cry out, my voice breaking as I clutch the edge of the bed, my fingers digging into the sheets as if I can somehow hold on to her. "What am I going to do? What am I going to do without her?"

Martinus holds me close, his grip firm but gentle, as if he's trying to absorb some of the pain coursing through me. His voice is soft, almost a whisper, as he murmurs, "I'm here, Y/N. I'm here. We'll get through this together, I promise." His words are meant to comfort, but the emptiness inside me feels too vast, too overwhelming to be filled by anything.

Nora kneels on my other side, her hand resting on my back, rubbing slow, soothing circles. "Y/N, I'm so sorry," she whispers, her voice thick with her own sorrow. "You're not alone in this. We're here for you, whatever you need."

Marcus stands nearby, his face pale and drawn with grief. He's silent, but his presence is steady, grounding. He reaches out and gently places a hand on my shoulder, his touch a quiet reassurance that he's here too, sharing in the weight of this moment.

I lean into Martinus, my body trembling as the reality of what's happened begins to settle in, sharp and painful. "I can't do this," I whisper, my voice barely audible through the tears. "I don't know how to live without her. She was my everything... my only family..."

"We know," Martinus says softly, his voice breaking slightly. "And it hurts so much right now, more than words can express. But you don't have to go through this alone. We'll help you, every step of the way."

Nora nods, her eyes glistening with tears as she continues to rub my back. "We'll take it one day at a time, Y/N. Whatever you need—whether it's a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, or just silence—we're here for you."

Marcus kneels down as well, his expression earnest as he looks at me. "She was an incredible woman, Y/N, and she loved you so much. That love doesn't go away, even now. We'll help you keep her memory alive, in everything we do."

Their words, their presence, should be comforting, and in some small way, they are. But the grief is still so raw, so overwhelming. I can't see past the pain, can't imagine a world without her in it.

The room feels like it's closing in around me, the cold, sterile walls pressing in on all sides. "I don't know how to do this," I whisper again, my voice trembling with fear and uncertainty. "I don't know how to keep going without her."

Martinus holds me tighter, his own tears falling silently as he rocks me gently. "You're stronger than you think, Y/N. And you don't have to figure it all out right now. Just take it moment by moment. We're here to hold you up when you can't stand on your own."