How to get me a boyfriend

Step 1: introduce yourself

While most people fall in love with celebrities like Ryan Reynolds, Chris Evans, Tom Holland and sometimes Timotheè Chalamet. I, Kendall Donald, the heir to delulu land and a broke ass almost uni student fell in love with an app. Oh my sweet gam gams wouldn't even be surprised, she saw it coming. That line from one cliché romance movie was my motto, my prejudice.

"Boys at school (parties, roads, home, toilet, garage sale, outer space) don't look at me," but Wattpad sure did!

It makes me live a life I can't live in real life. Wow, such a tongue twister. I vividly remembered that heavenly day when I first got my iPhone. I was searching everywhere on the AppStore, trying to download purbles place but to no avail, I couldn't download it. That's when I saw the little orange app, staring at me, saying they have found it's new master... or lover, whatever.

But there was a little problem. Even though I craved for the enemies to lovers romance trope, the billionaire-inconvenient-arranged-marriage stories, vampires, aliens sometimes, werewolves, bad boy steals my bra type of stuff, I never had a boyfriend.

Hold it! I'm sure you're saying "ofi coursi," but dearie, it's hard when none, I mean NONE of them exist beside you. So because they don't exist but only exist fictionally, I stuck to fiction.

"Okay, that's enough daydreaming for today," my sweet gam gam said as she shook me on my shoulders. "One day, you'll dream so much that you'll forget what's reality."

"Is it a crime to be delusional now?" I asked with a pout. Gam gam frowned, gently pulling at my lips.

"Don't do that with your lips again, you look like a stuffed duck." With that, my pout increased and in annoyance, she walked away.

See, see what I have to deal with in real life. Everything just seems too normal. Why couldn't I step into a coffee shop, bump into a wealthy man intentionally, him hating me for no absolute reason, he arranges our marriage, we hate ourselves even more and then, eventually fall in love.

Was that too much to ask?

Or if that was too much, why couldn't I just have an unconventional enemy who hates my guts but is secretly in love with me.

"You look like you're suffering from constipation," Gam gam said again. "Drink water, nope, Starbucks is better," she said, in a very high pitched voice, trying to mimic my awesome voice that definitely didn't sound like what she just did now.

"When did you even come back?"

"It's my house and you're in my bedroom, Kendall," she answered with an exasperated sigh. I made an o with my mouth, striding out her room. It was a brisk morning and I was in Gam gam's room explaining my awesome dream to her but she cut me off after every time I sighed dreamily. So now, I was walking away to drink my coffee—phone in hand—on the porch and hopefully wait for a cute guy to jog by.

Oh gam gam, the day I bring a billionaire back home with me, you'd be soo proud. And if you still hadn't understood I and gam gams relationship by now, she's my hot headed grandma and I'm her lovely melodramatic grandchild with a big imagination. She loves me soo much and she doesn't miss any opportunity to show it.

"Don't stay on the porch with your disgusting breath!" She yelled from indoors. "You could kill the trees like how you did for my nose!"

"Gam gam!"

"Just saying." See, she loves me. And so would anyone who would get to know me. I opened my phone, resuming reading the book I had been indulged in since yesterday night. Instead of feeling butterflies in my stomach, I felt paper being thrown on my face. I gasped looking away from my phone, onto the newspaper on the ground and then the cheesy little boy, riding away on his bicycle with an accomplished grin on his face.

"Curse you O'brian!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"Kendall!" Gam gam called, annoyed that I yelled this morning. But she has also been yelling ever since I told her I would spend the whole summer break at her place. Imagine her reaction, she was livid. But I didn't just come her for the sole purpose of giving her a heart attack, I came here because her house was located close to the sea shore. In all the books I've read, there was always a romantic beach scenario that I wanted to try out.

"Sorry gam gam." O'Brian laughed loud and hard at me, making me more angry. Okay, let me introduce you to O'brian. O'brian is a boy—a noun used to describe an immature male according to the dictionary of the heir of delulu land—who decided that from the first day I stepped into Willow spring, he would haunt me.

I could've taken O'brian as my love interest but firstly, he was younger than me by months or a year, shorter than me and definitely not my type. No matter how much I loved enemies to lovers, I couldn't stand him. He was like a splinter in my bum, an oddly manicured nail and a stain on my pants. I hated his guts and clearly, he hated mine for no reason. I could only keep him as the enemy that would forever remain an enemy, nothing more and nothing less.

And stop in your tracks if you're beginning to ship us because as that ship sails in the water, it would come out capsized. I've warned you. We can't have two strong headed people on one ship. Never. So I'm Kendall Jenner, the fifth daughter to Kris Jenner who is in love with an app called Wattpad and who is super single.

Whoopie!!