A secret desire.

Photo.

It's a breezy Saturday morning and it's also quite cloudy outside which isn't the best way to kick your Saturday off to be quite honest.

I roll on my other side and grab my phone off my nightstand and begin reading through my notifications after reading "11:34" on my clock. I slept in, like i always do on my days off.

I see a message from Beth explaining that she is hosting a party at her and Viv's tonight for the squad, perfect. Something to look forward to.

I also get a message from Leah asking if I'll be at the party that was sent a minute after Beth sent me the invitation, coincidence.

le: Are you going to Beth's tonight? x

me: ofcourse i am, who do you think
i am, Miss W? x

le: stupid question, see you tonight. i love you lucieeee x

me: you sure will, i love you more weirdo x

le: weirdo huh? 🤦🏻‍♀️x

me: i'm joking, you could never be a weirdo to me x

•••

Knowing that was one of the last conversations we had is daunting to me, let's explain what happened at the party yeah?..

•••

"Oh my god do you remember when we were in academy and we had a day off and we literally snuck into the training centre and stalked all the senior team players! HAHA that was so funny oh my.." I say.

Leah and a few others laugh at my sudden memory..

I'm having a conversation with Leah, a normal chat with my best friend until she gets a notification on her phone saying she's been tagged in a post by a random account.

"LEAH WILLIAMSON IS A CONFIRMED WHORE. AFTER A PHOTO OF HER AND MULTIPLE TEAMMATES SPOTTED GETTING COSY AT AROUND 3 DIFFERENT CLUBS IN LONDON IS TAKEN."

"what the fuck, leah that's fucked up. You need to report it or email instagram to get it taken down immediately" Katie speaks up.

A few of the teammates come over to leah to comfort her, and so does Jordan, surprisingly seen as they broke up a few days ago.

I go on my phone and report the post immediately whilst everyone else was doing the same thing.

-

I walk into the kitchen half way through the eventful night to refill my drink and see Jordan leaning over the kitchen counter crying her eyes out.

"Hey hey hey, jordan what's wrong?" I immediately speak up and wrap my arms around her shoulder.

"I fucked up Lucie, i have really fucking fucked it all up. She's never going to forgive me."

"Oh no, please tell me you didn't post that photo?"

She shakily nodded her head.

"Why Jordan?"

"We broke up a few days ago and i saw her messaging you this morning when i went to pick up some of my things from her house and i just got jealous Luce. I'm sorry, i don't want to fall out with you about this. You're my best friend and i can't loose you."

Leah and Jordan had been dating for around 3 years but it's been on and off the whole time because they never stopped arguing. It wasn't working anyway so i'm glad they broke up because their relationship was getting in the way of the performance levels on the pitch and in training. They lost focus of both their careers because of a relationship that wasn't working.

But at that moment, I had the dreaded idea that i have no idea where it would take me if i was to follow with this decision.

"I'll take the blame Jordan, you're going to Aston Villa and i don't want the others to hurt you. These girls are like family to me so they can't stay mad at me for too long, you will be okay i promise you."

"Really? You would do that for me?"

"Yes, i don't want you getting targeted when you play against Arsenal Jordan."

"Thank you."

As the conversation ended me and Jordan walked back in and i started with the act of guiltiness.

I walked in with one of my hands in my trouser pocket and the other holding my drink with my head down.

"Have you found out who it could be yet?" Katie asked me.

I took a hard gulp knowing this isn't going to end pretty well and looked up at Katie.

"I erm- I'm drunk." i replied

"You've had 2 drinks and you are the complete opposite of a lightweight. Why are you acting weird?" Beth asked.

I lock my eyes with Leah.

"It was me, i posted it." I pause seeing a few jaws drop to floor from the corner of my eyes but the only thing i was focused on was Leah's reaction. Pure hurt and betrayal. The tears started forming in her eyes pretty quickly but Lia Walti was quick to comfort her.

"I'm sorry Le, i don't know what i was thinking."

"You fucking what." Katie spoke.

"I wasn't thinking strai-" I was cut off to a hard punch to my left eye.

"KATIE!" Beth shouted. "Yes what she's fucking done is shit but no need to knock her out."

I look up and see Beth kneeling over me so i let a small guilty smile appear on my face.

"but what you've done is still fucked up, get out of my house." she stated causing my smile to disappear in milliseconds.

I get up and immediately down the drink i just poured feeling the burning liquid slide down my throat and scrunch the red plastic  cup and throw it in the bin from the other side of the room.

I look behind me as i'm walking towards the door and look at viv who head her head down shaking it in disappointment.

I've lost the girl i've had a fat crush on for years and my bestfriend and basically my whole family in the space of 2 minutes because of my fake confession.

•••

It's the morning after the party and I have training today.

I've been blocked by everyone apart from Jordan, brilliant.

Jordan took the photo down during the night or it was removed off instagram i don't know but it's already being spread all over the internet.

Jordan has completely ruined Leah's life but I let Jordan keep her peace with the team i used to call family for her happiness.

Like i said, i choose my friends happiness over my own.

But little did i know it would hurt like a fucking bitch.

•••

CHAP 2 COMPLETE DUDES.

I hope the chapters get longer too don't worry