A secret desire.

I get it Leah.

*5 years ago*

I was watching TV all alone until i hear my doorbell ring, as im 17 with no parents I live on my own but i'm supported by the government and my football club to live on my own so everything is okay.

"Hey.." I hear as I open the door and see the blonde stood at my door.

"Hi Leah, What's up.?" I ask.

"I need to talk to you, can i come in?" she asks.

"Of course you can." i reply and step to the side and for her to step inside.

"Can we sit?"

"Leah you're being weird. Tell me what it is please." I demand.

"I'm seeing somebody.." She admits. As soon as those words exit her mouth my heart drops. Ouch.

"Ooo really who!" i say as i put on a fake smile.

"Please don't fake it Lucia, i know it's going to hurt you." I give up the act and just purse my lips together and nod, the tears starting to form in my eyes and becoming very evident.

"I get it Leah. Why did i even think we could ever be together anyway.." I admit.

"I'm sorry Luce."

"Could you leave please?"

"No i need to know you're alright."

"Leah i'm fine, now please leave me alone."

She nods her head in defeat and opens the door, "I love you more than anything." She says before she swiftly walks out the house and closes the door behind her.

I put my back on the door and slide down it, so i'm curled up in a ball.

And i begin to cry, i don't stop crying, i couldn't stop crying, why couldn't this all just stop.

It had been ten minutes and i was still not calming down so i opened the door and it was pouring it down with rain but to my surprise. Leah was still standing on the door step with her back facing me, she was listening to my cry.

She turns around and locks her eyes with mine, "our time will come eventually Lucia." Leah leans into kiss me but i stop her.

"Don't. I don't want to ruin your relationship, please go home." I say.

"Don't push me away. You can talk to me you know that ri-"

"Just go Leah!" I raise my voice at her.

She nods her head in defeat for the second time today and begins to walk away.

•••

And that was how it all ended. Well, when i shut off my feelings for Leah.

When I took the blame for Jordan, i knew i would loose Leah but at least i attempted to give them another chance but they never happened again.

All these 10 months of no contact, i've just been admiring her from a far. Knowing deep down in my heart, She was always going to be one of the most beautiful, loveable girl on the planet. My desire for her grew everyday even though i was dead to her, sad i know.

But now we are back in contact and everything is okay again between me and her, i feel like we are going to get along extremely well...