Burning love

Chapter 23 (Becky's POV)

Every time I close my eyes I see their faces. Each man, lady, little boy, little girl and baby. Each face I had to leave behind in that fire. I just start to drift off to sleep and I feel a calm wash over, then a face pops into my head jolting me awake again. I looked them up on the online missing person website specifically for the tower block. All of the adults and children I can name, the two babies I worked out because of the parents who died who had the same last name as the babies, it just breaks my heart even more.

It's been nine days since the tower block fire, I've probably had fifteen hours of sleep in total in that time. I feel like a walking zombie. The therapist signed me off duty for two weeks and then will review it.

I was prescribed sleeping tablets but they just enhanced the images so I stopped taking them. I just can't get myself out of this mental hole I'm in. I haven't told Alessia any of this, I don't want to ruin her holiday or make her worry about me. Plus I was kind of hoping I would be able to overcome it before she comes home.

To be honest I haven't been very on it with communicating with Alessia. I've answered her calls when she's called which has been everyday and replied to her texts to me, but I haven't initiated any of it. Not because of anything to do with her, it's just the effort, I don't have it in me right now.

She's now in France at some sporting show, event thing. I know she has a couple of interviews lined up while there. Luca is out there as well with her because of his agent career, it's a great place for him to promote himself. She also has one of her team mates there.

Alessia comes home tomorrow though, I mentally planned to be well enough to pick her up from the airport. But I wouldn't be able to do that journey. I would be a huge risk driving my car in the state I'm in. I've already had to let Mia down all week, I told Harry I was sick and didn't want to pass anything on. I feel bad for lying but I can't let her see me like this.

It's 7pm and I haven't heard from Alessia yet. Normally I hear from her by now because it's just before she heads to dinner. She's been very quiet today. I guess she's just been busy with the show. I should probably sort myself something to eat but even that is too much effort at the moment. I have been eating a lot of protein yogurts and bars just something easy to eat without effort.

Knock! Knock!

Can I ignore it? I'm not expecting anyone. I'm laying out on the sofa my eyes looking towards the front door, as if I might suddenly develop X-ray vision and see who's there.

Knock! Knock! This time much louder.

Well it seems whoever is there doesn't want me to ignore it. I drag myself off the sofa and shuffle my feet along the floor to the front door. I open the door up, the warm outside air hits me.

Genuinely I'm surprised. My favourite blue eyes connect to mine, they work their way down me. Taking me all in. Taking in my tatty clothes, my four day old unwashed hair, the black bags under my eyes.

Without a word she steps up to me and embraces me. Holds me tight against her wonderful body. Just the connection with her was enough to make me break down. Big tears roll down my cheeks and I bury my head into her neck, sobbing like a child. She grips onto me harder.

Her smell is so fresh and her perfume is captivating. I must smell musty and stale in comparison. I never realised how much I wanted to see her, have her hold me and be with me. She leads me into the house and sits me down on the sofa, tells me to wait and grabs her bag in from the doorstep.

Once she's back in, she sits down next to me and pulls me so I'm laying, resting my head on her lap. She plays with my hair while the tears keep falling, my eyes feel so heavy they actually hurt. I close them and let the darkness consume me. My mind and body wishes Alessia will be enough to keep the images away. Even just for a couple of hours of rest.