When I Reach The End

Chapter 1: Autopilot

"Mars, what did you get for number 4? Mars? Mars. MARS MALLORY GET UP RIGHT THIS INSTANT" Ms. Smith said slamming her hand on Mars's desk waking her with a start. "Huh?!" She said her eyes quickly darting across the room.

It was clear to anyone who saw Mars that she didn't get much sleep. She hardly ever smiled or talked to anyone and always had deep bags under her eyes. Her short dark brown hair was always messy and she was one of those kids who always wore a black pullover hoodie even in 90-degree weather.

"I asked what you got for number 4 on the homework." Ms. Smith said taking her hand off the table and crossing her arms.

"I didn't do my homework" Mars mumbled under her breath. "And why is that?" Ms. Smith said tapping her foot on the ground impatiently, the whole class was staring at this point. Some of the kids in the back were snickering but most were watching to see how this would escalate. The classroom went completely silent for a moment before a girl with blonde hair raised her hand "I know the answer for number 4-" "Shh!" Ms. Smith said interrupting her, "I want Mars to give me the reason that she didn't get her homework done and why she refuses to follow along when we go over it in class! Go on now, everyone is waiting..." Mars sighed and said "I was tired" Ms. Smith raised an eyebrow "Tired? Really? You're not even going to try to come up with a convincing excuse?" Mars looked up at Ms. Smith "No? I-" she said before being cut off again "I am going to write you a pass to the school counselor, you can sort things out and when you come back to class you better be ready to actually participate!" Ms. Smith says before walking briskly over to her desk and pulling out a slip of paper. Mars leans back in her chair putting her head in her hands and looking up at the ceiling. "Ihatemylifesofuckingmuch..." she mumbled again before being handed the slip of paper.

Student Name: Mars Mallory

Location: Counselors Office

Teacher: Ms. Smith

Date: 10/2

Mars grumbled as she slung her plain black bag over her shoulder and headed out of the classroom slamming the door behind her. She stepped through the halls before coming to a door with a sign on it that said,

"COUNSELORS OFFICE"

"MR. WALKER"

She opened the door and stepped into the room, inside the office were two comfy-looking chairs and a desk. At the desk sat a man with kind eyes who was working on some sort of scheduling thing on his laptop, but when Mars opened the door he turned around and smiled "Hello there Mars! what brings you here today!" Mars slumped down the chair closest to her and dropped her backpack on the floor haphazardly. "Ms. Smith said I had to come to you to sort things out or something..." 

Mr. Walker got up from his desk chair and sat on the more comfy-looking one across from Mars. "Sort things out?" he said. "Yeah, she got mad at me because I didn't do my math homework," Mars said leaning back in her chair and avoiding eye contact. "Why didn't you finish your math homework? were you struggling with the concepts, trouble at home maybe?" Mr. Walker said compassionately "Kinda both but I mostly didn't get it done because I'm just kinda-" she paused "Never mind" "You're in a safe space, you should be able to tell me anything," Mr. Walker said, he really wanted to know what mars would have said.

"Ugh never mind can I just go back to class now" Mars said looking at the door and then at Mr. Walker. He hesitated for a moment before saying

"yes... I suppose you can but if anything is going on at all that I should know about do not be afraid to ask, okay? I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to."

"Yeah yeah yeah okay," Mars said as she picked up her back and walked out of the room. She hadn't even gotten to her math class before the lunch bell rang and kids filled the halls. 

She followed along with the crowd getting pushed out of the way on several occasions and eventually made it outside to the cafeteria area and sat down by the tree she always had, and like always she spent most of her lunch watching the blonde-haired girl and a few of her friends talk with each other. She had tried to work up the courage to ask them if she could sit with them at lunch but every time without fail she would chicken out and tell herself "ill just do it tomorrow".

She knew she was lying to herself when she said that.

After lunch ended the rest of the day was a slog, the school day seemed to go on forever until that final bell rang. 

After school ended she would always get on a bus home and listen to music on the way. Mars liked music, it felt like an escape from reality sometimes. Just a place where she didn't have to think, didn't really need to do much of anything. She liked that.

This is how all of her days went, she woke up, went to school, came back, went to bed and repeated the process. She didn't really have any hobbies nor did she ever go to any after school clubs or hang out with any friends and once she got home she usually just went right to her bed and laid there until it was time to get up again.

But tonight was going to be different. Tonight she had a plan...