Love Under The Spotlight | Oshi no Ko [Hoshino Aqua x OC]

Chapter 40

Aqua stared at Natsuhiko's video diary. It has indeed been useful to revise several scenes for the movie which shooting was planned to resume by the end of the week. The second week of Himeka's coma had just begun, and anxiety had not decreased. He could barely sleep. The nightmares got to him again. Whenever he would close his eyes, he'd see her in the hospital bed, with a flat line on the heart monitor as the doctors announced the time of death. This would inevitably trigger a panic attack.

The last time the panic attack would get to him this bad was after Ai's death. He never thought he'd go through it again. He had imagined it but to live it, it was different.

Aqua let out a sigh and shook the thought away. He grabbed his phone and let his body fall onto his bed as he put his earphones on, 'Unlasting' by Opal playing. Hearing her voice would soothe him whenever he'd feel down, but this song speaks to his heart. The first time he had heard it, it frightened him how accurate it was to his feelings. How much he felt Hoshizora's touch in the lyrics and composition. This feeling of loss, or remembrance, of yearning for the one you've lost, this desire to see knowing deep down it was not possible anymore. He felt seen. Understood.

He felt stupid. After all this time and work trying to put a distance between him and Hime, after all this time and work trying as hard as he could to burry his feelings as far as he could, to silence them and ignore them, it seemed there was nothing in the world that could ever make him not love her. The moment he entered her circle, he was enticed, bewitched. And the more he grew to know her, the more he fell desperately in love with her. He had already been doomed the moment her eyes met his.

"Aqua!"

He removed his earplugs and sat up on his bed, staring confusedly at Miyako who had barged into his room. She simply stood there for a moment, her eyes gentle and relieved with the kindest smile on her lips. It didn't take much for Aqua to understand. A wave of relief then washed over him while the oppressing weight that was crushing him down vanished from his shoulders.

"She's awake?" He asked with a waver in his voice.

Miyako nodded. "I just got a text from Hana."

Aqua leaned on his knees and let out a heavy sigh, passing his hands on his face in a useless attempt to calm himself down and stop the tears from gathering in his eyes. He had been imagining the worst. He had feared the worst, nightmares and painful memories mixing and amalgamating each other and plaguing his nights, anxiety eating him alive at the simple thought of losing Hime. But she was alright now. She was awake. And this alone was enough to bring him solace. He thought he had lost her. But she was alright.

Seeing him in such a state, a state she had never witnessed him in before, Miyako came to sit beside him and gently patted his back. "Do want to see her now? I can drop you off there."

Aqua took a deep breath and straightened up, tears gone from his eyes. "No. She should be with her family. And her boyfriend."

Miyako stared at him for a moment. She was no fool. She never tried too hard to act too motherly with him, unlike with Ruby, for it was obvious to her he did not consider her his mother, more like a guardian. Though, she still knew him well. Aqua was not the type to take things personally, to get emotionally involved, or to be interested in anyone without ulterior motives, except if this 'anyone' was Himeka.

"Aquamarine. How long will you keep this up?"

Aqua, visibly taken aback by her sudden seriousness, looked back at her.

"I know that you're the one who leaked Mabuchi's picture to the Weekly Entertainment magazine," Miyako continued. "I know that you've helped Hiroto gather enough information for the lawsuits against malicious comments. And I know you've tried to find out more about the accident. The only thing I don't know is how much you love this girl." Aqua looked away. "You know, considering what has happened in the past, I understand why you have a hard time finding happiness. And yet, whenever Hime is involved, even just remotely involved, these are the moments I see genuine joy in your eyes. When she's around, you get possessive. You get emotional. You get jealous. You look forward to seeing her. You look after her. You get to finally act like a boy your age. Like a kid."