Xue Yang sneaks out of the palace in a huff, kicking stones out of his way as he goes until the rage subsides. Anger isn't helpful, he reminds himself as he makes a straight path into the gardens at the back, where his mentor and his first proper friend likes to visit often.
He has distinct categories for the people in his life, and so far, all the ones he likes have their own little boxes inside his head, safe from the cruelty of the world as he sees it.
A-Qing, definitely his little sister, and the first person he formed an emotional attachment to, who stayed.
He loves her toughness, her stubborn will against practically everyone who stands in her way, how she wants to fend for herself, and she knows she's smart enough to do it. He had been drawn to the little blind girl feeling her way with an oversized bamboo stick...until he discovered that she wasn't blind at all! What a neat trick that was, to fool people into just handing her stuff, since her sight is probably better than his! He is proud of her, he realises. She is dear to him because she pretends to not need him, and Xue Yang recognises hurt when he sees it.
The independence A-Qing loves to flaunt in front of him, when really, it is a disguise to mask her real fear of being left alone.
Their time together on the streets of Nightless City have forged a close bond, taught them to grow up faster than other children their age, and given Xue Yang his own set of golden rules to never break. They've learned some pretty tough lessons about life, and one of them is about revenge.
Never let someone who hates you get away with it.
Life as a street kid is like being in a sieve. The process is tough, but made for sifting through the flakes made to be thrown away, and the hard grains destined to make it into something better, and Xue Yang is proud of himself and his sister who are definitely the latter.
He never expected to meet someone like Wei Ying, or Lan Zhan.
Both are strange and definitely hiding something, but Xue Yang values the necessity of keeping secrets, and maybe one day, they might feel comfortable enough to talk openly about themselves. That part isn't important to him.
They saved him and A-Qing. That's vital.
Xue Yang is grateful to both Wei Ying and Lan Zhan, but this feeling is so much deeper than that. It's nothing romantic, but is equally about loyalty and about supporting them, because they have an agenda.
He keeps finding out things about them that don't make sense, but he's inexplicably drawn to them. They get their own box, marked as idealists.
One is open-hearted and kind, without questioning the person he's giving these gifts to, while the other has determination and a kill list. That last one might be his favourite thing about Lan Zhan.
The thing about killing people is how easy it is. He's proud of himself, how he stepped up to the task when it looked like the other three were quietly panicking about what they wanted to do, how they looked relieved for all of three seconds, but it was enough.
Xue Yang has found his place.
A-Qing, no, not that one, the other one, the Wen. She is his mentor simply because she's so cool, walking them through all her savage plants and having all that information in her head, about which ones did what, and how her favourite one is this: the Yew tree.
It's fast becoming his favourite place, and Xue Yang loves climbing up its low branches to somewhere in the middle, where he can sit unbothered, obscured by the verdant leaves and red berries, left alone to plan. It's where he does his best thinking, feeling a kinship with an organism that is wholly hellbent on killing off humans.
