It's cold, that's Lan Zhan's first thought.
Then, remembering how he passed out at the most crucial moment, he jerks awake, looking around in the darkness. Someone stirs next to him and then a voice says, "Didi, did you have a bad dream? It's alright, Gege is here."
Two thin arms wrap around him, and Lan Zhan has never been so glad that he has spoken so little in the past. It will serve him well because everything feels wrong.
His arms are too short, nevermind his legs, and in fact, his whole body feels strange, as if his soul, or his awareness is of a far greater scope than the size it is trapped within. XiChen is hugging him tightly, but Lan Zhan cannot appreciate it, not when this same boy will grow up and be the man to do nothing to stop the many injustices that will occur around him.
When Lan Zhan was little in his other life, there was no one more comforting than his older brother. XiChen made sure he got up in time at Maoshi, and looked presentable after helping him bathe. His presence was a constant reassurance throughout all of Lan Zhan's days, making sure he ate, and studied well. XiChen was his role model, a person to look up to and who provided excellent guidelines on how to behave.
His older brother was more of a parent to him than their father was, especially after their mother passed away.
XiChen made sure Lan Zhan was protected at all times in that first life, and yet, knowing what Lan Zhan knows now, having seen the proof of how this child will grow up, what decisions he will make, it feels wrong to be hugging him. This person will side with the elders of their clan and lead the force that wants to kill his beloved.
Lan Zhan must be very careful now because his mind, heart and soul are the same as they were in that first life. But his body is that of a child again, and it is difficult to reconcile the two. It doesn't feel right and takes a lot to get used to, but he has to.
He must use all available resources to secure Wei Ying's future.
If that means he must use his brother, then so be it.
"Mama?" Even his voice sounds strange to himself.
"Oh, Didi..." XiChen sniffs, stroking his hair. "Mama is gone now. Promise me you won't go looking for her again?"
"Mn." This is too easy.
As a child, Lan Zhan never understood that gone meant death. No one ever bothered to explain it to him, not even a brother who had three extra years to understand better than himself. And now? Lan Zhan isn't going to waste time kneeling outside a door that he knows will not open for him again.
A part of him is sad that he didn't get the chance to meet her again. It is a regret but at the same time, his immediate thoughts upon activating Wei Ying's remarkable time-travelling array were all about saving Wei Ying from all that he had to suffer. That it worked, and so well, stands to reason when it was a genius mastermind who created it in the first place.
If his mother has passed away recently, that means this is Lan Zhan's six year old body. That also means that Wei Ying is still five years old, and newly orphaned? Or, if his parents are still alive, then Lan Zhan needs to stop them from going on that terrible night hunt which took their lives, all those years ago.
If he's wrong, then it means he must find Wei Ying as soon as possible, preferably before Jiang Fengmian does. That means going to Yiling at the earliest available opportunity. But in this body, how can Lan Zhan pull off such a request?
One thing is certain: nobody is going to believe him.
He must not trust a soul except for Wei Ying.
He knows all of these people in his clan only too well - people who would easily dismiss whatever Lan Zhan told them as the ramblings of a disturbed child, possibly even blaming his mother by saying Lan Zhan has lost his mind to grief.
