𝘂𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 / chris sturniolo

𝟮𝟱 / ( does that matter )

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Once Naomi and Chris got into their hotel room, both were completely silent.

The girl ran the shower and hopped in without saying a word.

Chris plopped himself onto the bed, wondering what she was thinking.

Naomi didn't play music, something she did when she was just using showering as an excuse to have some time alone to think.

She tried to process everything that had happened that day, but it didn't help. The more she thought about it, the more confused she grew.

Why had Chris kissed her earlier but then chose a girl who was obviously flirting with him as his game partner instead of her?

Why hadn't he turned her down in the pool immediately, after hearing from Naomi that the girl was obviously flirting?

Why hadn't he said a single word to her in the pool, or after it?

She turned the shower off as her head actually started to hurt from the pondering.

Making sure to take her time with it, she did her skincare routine. She always liked that, it felt like a form of self love. It was a way of taking good care of herself.

But the truth is that she also dreaded the moment she stepped out of that bathroom, because she knew she had some questions for Chris.

Only she wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answers.

But it had to happen, whether she postponed it or not. So she took a breather and opened the door to face the boy lying on the bed.

"Chris."

He looked up at her from his phone. "Naomi," he told her softly.

"I need to ask you something."

"Shoot." He put his phone away to let her know she had his full attention.

"What was that all about? At the pool?"

"Oh, Claire just came up to me and we started talking. When Nick said we were gonna play chicken fight, she just decided that she'd be my partner."

"Alright," the girl said, trying to be cool about it. He obviously didn't see it as a big deal, so why would she?

She sat down on the bed with him, but couldn't stop fidgeting with her rings.

"Naomi," he said to her with a slight hint of worry.

"Chris."

"I can tell something is up. Tell me."

She sighed. "It's just..." she stopped talking.

The boy raised his eyebrows, encouraging her to explain further. "It's just?"

"Why would you keep talking to her and partner up with her in chicken fight when I literally told you earlier that she was flirting with you."

Chris shuffled in his seat. "It's not like I was flirting back."

"But you're giving her signals by not shutting her down," the girl said softly.

The two of them went quiet for a second.

Chris' voice was almost inaudible when he spoke up again. "Well, at least I didn't fuck her."

Naomi's head snapped into his direction. "What does that mean?"

"It means exactly what you think it does."

She nodded her head horizontally. "That was such a different situation."

"No it wasn't," he replied, and it came out more harsh than he had intended.

He lowered his head and went on in a softer voice. "It was you and me, Naomi. Figuring out where it was gonna go. It was exactly the same situation."

These words made the girl lower her head as well. "We hadn't kissed yet."

"Does that matter?" he asked

When she didn't answer, he repeated his question, only louder this time.

"Does that matter, Naomi?"

Another few seconds of silence.

The boy stood up and put his hands in the back of his neck before continuing. "Because it doesn't to me! That fucking kiss didn't change any of my feelings towards you, because they were already there!"

He sat back down on the bed and his voice became quiet again. "They were already there when you had sex with Vinnie. Not as strong as they are now, sure. But does that matter?"

The girl looked at him, and she had tears in her eyes. She stayed silent, words could not explain how guilty she felt.

Chris stood back up and started pacing around the room, as if he was thinking about something very intensely.

He came back to the bed and stood in front of it.

"Look," he started out soft. "I'm sorry that I acted like that earlier in the pool. I fucked up. And you have a right to be mad because when I first found out about you and Vinnie, I was mad too."

He carried on. "But you gotta understand that it's just fucking confusing to me." His tone got louder with each sentence he spoke.

"Because I don't fucking understand this feeling, Naomi! And it's even more confusing because somehow I keep waiting for you to run off and find some other guy again."

The girl opened her mouth to speak, but he was quicker. "Let me say this first, please."

She nodded and he went on.

"And I think, I mean, I'm pretty sure you won't. But I'm scared. And after that kiss earlier I just felt so..." he stopped, trying to find the right words.

He sighed for a moment before he went on. "I've always struggled with commitment and stuff. But you made it so confusing for me because you were someone I wanted to commit to."

"I can't even explain it. But as we were walking to the pool, suddenly all I could think about was 'Did Vinnie feel this way too?' and at that moment Claire came up to me, I was overthinking so bad," he said.

"I guess it seemed easier to lose you to another girl than to lose you to another guy," he mumbled so soft that Naomi almost couldn't hear.

"Chris," she spoke softly as she went over to him.

She wrapped her hands around him and then gave him a gentle but long kiss.

When he pulled back, he had stars in his eyes.

"I'm not gonna leave you anymore," the girl said through tears. "Like, ever. You're stuck with me now."

It almost looked like the boy's eyes were tearing up as well. "I was hoping you'd say that."

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a/n: loooong chapter

also unrelated to this story and maybe too personal
but a random guy i made out with at a party 4 months ago sent me a follow request on insta while i was writing this and im so scared like what does he want 😭
more money?
a cheque?
a car?
my soul?

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