Sander Sides The Demus Origin Story

Chapter #1

Warning: Angst, Self-Harm, Fluff, Remus being Remus, Swearing, Eating Disorder, and Alcohol

Remus's POV: It's been at least 2 months since Virgil left us and joined the Light Sides. I wasn't pleased about Virgil just leaving us, but I also didn't care at the same time. Janus however was affected by Virgil leaving more than I was, it caused Janus to have depression and a drinking problem. Janus drinks wine but when Virgil was still around it wasn't an issue because Janus would only drink wine when we had a birthday or a holiday. Janus drinking wine almost 3 times a day now which leads to Janus being drunk and making Janus make bad choices because when he was, for instance, the other day Janus was drunk and I was mad about his drinking problem and I decided to tell Janus how I was feeling about it which in result Janus didn't like what I had to say about it and Janus slapped me across the face which Janus had never hit me before or anyone before. Janus even had promised us back when we were kids that he would never hurt any of us and would always be there for us no matter what. Now Janus mostly hides in his room and hardly cooks anymore which is disappointing because I like it when Janus cooks.

Janus's POV: I was in my room sitting on the floor up against my bed frame hugging my knees. I hated Virgil for leaving me! I hated myself because I was sure I was the reason Virgil left us. I hated being part snake because well the others are right; I am just a monster and a freak. I am just a stupid liar that nobody wants to be around or even wants to be friends with. Why me? Why can't I just be like the others? Normal not a fucking human freak who is part snake. I never asked for any of this! I was drowning in my thoughts while drinking my third glass of wine today. I was a stupid baby on my bedroom floor crying because I am weak and so pathetic plus I can't solve my problems or have the damn balls to ask for help when I know I need help. Hours have passed and I haven't even left my room, not even to get something to eat. I got up from my floor and went into my bathroom, turned the sink on, washed my face off, and looked up in the mirror which was broken because I had punched it last night blaming myself for everything and hating myself and how I looked.

Remus's POV: I was starting to get worried about Janus. So, I started heading upstairs to head to Janus's room plus Janus didn't come out of his room at all today and it was already 8 pm. When Janus doesn't eat an entire day, it makes me very concerned and worried, and Janus hadn't eaten once today once again. This is the 4th time this week that Janus hasn't eaten anything. At this rate, Janus is going to give himself an eating disorder. I reached Janus's door, and I knocked on Janus's door which was yellow and had his two-headed snake logo on it, "Double Dee, Are you okay in there?" I said softly but like always I didn't get an answer from him which was his way o telling me to fuck off and leave him alone. I signed opened the door and walked inside his room, but I didn't see him in his room which made me cause he had to be in there. After all, he hadn't left his room at all today. I noticed his bathroom light on, so I made my way to the bathroom door and pushed it open. My eyes widened and I felt my heart shattered into millions of tiny pieces, but my emotion went from being worried straight to anger mixed with sadness. I met my eyes with Janus who was looking at me in shock and was holding a razor blade in his right hand which had cuts on it including his arm as well as his other arm but his other hand that didn't have scales had burned marks on it. I kept looking at Janus and he had cuts on his neck and face everywhere on his body! "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO YOURSELF?!" I yelled while making a growling sound and I was so angry. I snatched the razor blade out of Janus's hands while Janus tried to get it back from me. "GET OUT OF MY ROOM REMUS! AND GIVE ME IT BACK!" Janus yelled at me pointing at the door and holding his hand out thinking I was going to give him the damn razor blade back to him. I wasn't going to just leave, not after finding out what Janus had been doing in his room the past 4 days and I was not going to let what I just saw slide. I grabbed Janus and pulled him out of his bathroom, throwing him onto his bed, "WHY!? WHAT THE HELL!" I wanted to just punch a damn wall, and I was in pain finding out that the person I have a crush on and care about has been hurting themselves for who knows how long, probably more than 4 days!

Janus's POV: I was thrown onto my bed by Remus who was yelling at me because he found out what I had been doing to myself. "WHY DO YOU FUCKING CARE!! I DESERVE IT!" I yelled back at Remus with tears forming in my eyes making me look away from Remus because I didn't want him to see me being weak or crying like a baby. I jumped to Remus throwing my empty wine glass at the wall making it break into tiny pieces. I looked down at the floor and then my arms while I had tears running down my face and cheeks. I jumped and looked at Remus who was now hugging me in a way as if I was dying and it was going to be his last moments with me. "Double Dee. Look I am sorry I yelled at you. And broke your wine glass. But why are you doing this to yourself?" Remus said softly but I could hear his voice breaking a little and tears were forming in his eyes. "Why do you even fuck care? I deserve it anyway!" I said, starting to cry my eyes out because I never wanted to cut. I never wanted this much pain. "I care because you are the only person who can put up with me and wants to be around me. How long have you been cutting and everything else you've been doing to yourself?" Remus asked as he put his hand under my chin making me look up at him. "2 weeks." I said looking away or trying to look away, but Remus didn't let me look away so instead I didn't make eye contact. I was waiting for Remus to yell at me again. I jumped because Remus just grabbed me, put me on his back, and started carrying me out of my room and down the stairs to the kitchen. Remus sat me down on the kitchen counter and walked away for a minute and came back with a box that was full of first aid kit stuff, basically all of the emergency stuff. Remus grabbed my right arm first and started treating it, cleaning the cuts and then bandaging it as well as my right hand.

Remus's POV: I had finished bandaging Janus's right arm and hand but now I have to do the same thing to the rest of Janus's body. I looked at Janus while he was still crying and not looking at me, so I made Janus turn his head to face me. "Double Dee. Please stop doing this and blaming yourself for everything. You don't deserve any of this and you know that." I said softly as I was wiping the tears off Janus's cheeks and pulling Janus into a protective hug but being gentle not to hurt his scars. I put my hand under Janus's chin, leaned in close to his face, and then kissed him holding his waist. After a couple of minutes, I pulled away and looked at Janus who was in shock and had a shade of light pink blush across his cheeks. "I love you, Double Dee. I have or years." I said softly but Janus grabbed my face and pulled me back into a kiss, but he had started crying again which caught me off guard. I closed my eyes and kissed back holding the back of Janus's head. We both soon pulled away from the kiss after another couple of minutes to catch our breaths of air. "I love you too, Mus. I am sorry for everything I did," Janus said, hugging me and I started wiping the tears off his face again, his calling me Mus made me smile, as he hadn't called me by that nickname in years.