A Personal Inferno

Chapter 7

As you step through to the other side, the darkness vanishes from your sight. You have stepped into a strange room that feels somewhat familiar to you. You look around carefully, trying to be silent as you can, but with every movement that you make the floor boards underneath your feet creek with the slightest of movement or the shift in your height. You have a strange familiarity with the room you are in. You know if you turn around, there will be a bed in the cornor with a bedside table on it without a lamp shade. Surely enough, as you turn your head slightly over your shoulder, what you thought you knew was true. But the sheets to the bed are in a mess. Holes toren in the sheets and mattress. Springs poking out them. Pillows laying in the floor and the light bulb broken and the lamp rusted. The wallpaper that bed is up against is torn and falling off, peeling back to show the old brick walls, showing the years of wallpaper like layers and layers of old wallpaper.

"Hmmmm, very charming," virgil says from behind you.
"Yeap, tell me about it. Brings back memories good and bad, " you say with a lump in your throat.
You look around the dishevelled room seeing old picture frames broken and the pictures rotten away, not able to recognise anyone in the photo.
"Where are we, my friend?" Virgil says with aw in his voice.
You take a deep breath in and exhale slowly and say.
"My old bed room from when I was a wee lad. But it never looked like this. It's if it is a scene in a silent hill game. It's a fucking riot, something out a horror movie. I'm expecting a big a bigger spooky cunt to pop out the door way behind us"
You both share a laugh after you say that.
"Be careful for what you wish for, my friend. We are, after all, in your head so anything can happen." Virgil says with a smile in his face.

As you both share in the moment, you have an overwhelming feeling of dread and despair. As if a sense of doom was coming closer and closer to you. The feeling fills your body like a water balloon, taking over your body and mind. Your body feels heavy, your mind is racing, your heart feels like it is about to burst out your chest. You fall to the ground and curl up into a ball. Tears fill your eyes. You want it to end. you want the pain to end the heaviness in your chest, the intrusive thoughts, everything.
"What is wrong? Tell me, what do you feel?" virgil says as he comes to your side and bends down to you.
"I feel fucking everything!! All the fucking pain everything!! It feels like am on a fucking rollercoaster from hell my emotions are everywhere I dont know what I'm feeling!! Jesus christ make it stop pleeeaasee!!!" You beg out to virgil pleading with him to make the pain go away. You are begging him to do what you set out to do when you first woken up.
"Please, virgil, I can't take this anymore," you plead to him.
But virgil doesn't he takes your hand and says.
"No, my friend, I will not. You have come so far do not lose focus. Do not let this take over you. You know what to do? You can do this"
You look into his eyes. They are the same as they have always been since you first met him compassionate and calming. You take a deep breath in gathering your strength, your emotions and thoughts, and breath out. You wipe the tears from your eyes and stager back to your feet, brushing the dirt off yourself.

"You are okay, my friend. This will not be the end of you," virgil says in his calming voice.
"It fucking feels like it mate, it feels like my whole body just wants to imploded in on itself" you mutter to him, in pain holding your tears back. You turn to look at him, and you are surprised to see him with a smile on his face. "Why have you got a smile on your face you creepy cunt?" you say surcasticly.
"Throughout our journey together, you have called me many things. But never a friend until now." he says with a glowing smile.
You take a second to think, and you realise he is right.
"Well,"my friend" Every good friendships start off with a fucked up way, don't you agree Pubeless?" You say to him while holding back the pain to share in the moment. Virgil puts his hand in your shoulder and says, "Yes, I do agree." He holds your other hand and grasps it tight."You can do this, my friend. Just a little further,"
He let's you go from his grasp, and in your hand, he has placed aniuther vial. You look at it and muster up your strength "let's get the fuck out if here and find the thing so I can shove this vial up it's arse".
Virgil looks at you with confusion and a hint if disgust.
"Its metaphor fir fuck sake mate"

You both turn to walk out the room but you are met with somthing standing in your way. Some that is as black as oil dripping everywhere. It is standing on two legs, it looks like a person, but it has no face. Instead of feet, it looks like roots or veins spread out everywhere, all along the floor up the walls and on the roof. You notice it has wrapped it's self around your foot, but you are quick to shake it off before it tightens its grip.
"I take it you are my depression, my reasoning for being here?" You say. But the thing doesn't say anything back. It just stands there motionless. But you feel it's presents like heaviness in your chest, you know it's trying to suffocate you with its influence. "I can feel what you are trying to do. You are trying to overwhelm me, but you can't. That's why you are trying to grab me with your dicks for toes, isn't it?" But still nothing it stands there like a rock. you start to walk slowly forward towards it, saying
"You can not do anything to hurt me now. You have no power over me here or in the real world. I have faced my inner demons. I have walked. I HAVE WALKED THOUGH MY OWN PERSONAL INFERNO, AND IT'S BROUGH ME HERE!!... To you.. the root of all my pain." You are now face to face with the thing. You reach out and place your hand where its cheek would be. "But no more." The vial you have in your other hand breaks, and you embrace your depression holding it tightly while you absorb it. Consuming your depression other than it consuming you. Taking control.

With a worldwide of emotions rushing through you like a massive tidle wave, you fight to control it, to calm your storm. After what felt like a long time, you finally have taken control of yourself. You open your eyes to and see virgil smiling at you.
"You did it, my friend. Here, let me help you to your feet, " he says.
"Uhhhgg, my head hurts, I feel like I've had my head kicked in by a donkey" you sputter in a groggy voice.
You reach out and grab virgils hand, and he pulls you to your feet. He dusts you off and pats you on the shoulder, saying. "You did it, my friend. You overcame everything. I'm proud of you. But tell me, why didn't you trap it in the vial?"
You look at virgil and take a minute to compose yourself. "Throughout this whole journey, I've learned something. My emotions are mine, I control them, and I am the one that let's them overwhelm me. That doesn't make me weak, and it shouldn't make me feel helpless. Bottling up my emotions is like anything else you bottle up. You fill it up so muvh it over flows. So, every so often, the bottle needs to be emptied."
You reach into your inside pocket and grab the other vials. You look at them and grab the top of them and open them, without hesitation. Your emotions inside the vials come iut and onto your hand and seep into your skin. With each emotion that disappeared, you felt them. But nit as intense as before. "I've learned not to bottle uo my emotions. That isn't good for me. To face my emotions and not to just bury them or bottle them up."
" I'm proud of you, my friend. You have learned a valuable lesson, " virgil says with a warm glow on his face. "Shall we, my friend," virgil says, while jestering to a new door that has appeared.
"Aww fuck right off mate what else do I need to face? I thought that was us done. "
"We are my friend it's the exit back. You just need to step through."
"Aw... good. " You let out a sigh of relief. You both walk to the door, and virgil opens it for you. You take a deep breath and step through.