Cronkri: I won't let you down

Chapter 27: Kankri

The next morning, I woke up naked and alone in Aranea's bed. Memories from the night before filled my mind and I buried my face in the pillow, groaning. I fucked up so bad. Not only did it go against my personal morals, but the promises I had made to Cronus... I really wanted him to be my first time.

Oh gosh... Cronus. How would he react to this? He would probably get angry and leave me for lying to him and cheating on him... What if he never wants to see me again after this?

My whole body shook with nervousness as I got dressed for the day. I drove to work and went about my day, distracted by mental images of Aranea, thoughts of Cronus, and fears of both. The manager noticed how shaky and shoddy my work was as compared to normal and she yelled at me to do better next time. I drove home that day with a feeling of dread in my gut. I laid down on the couch and watched the news, not paying attention to anything except my own thoughts. Should I tell him right away? What do I say to Aranea now? Will things be awkward between us? Should I just wait to tell Cronus the next time I see him or will that ruin it?

I didn't even notice when Aranea came home until she laid down next to me on the couch, making me the big spoon.

"Hello, Aranea," I started, bending so my crotch was as far away from her as possible. "How was work?"

"I got a raise today thankfully," she responded, still pressing closer. "We might be able to keep more food around the house now."

I bit my lip at her closeness and sat up.

"What's wrong, Kankri?"

"I can't do this. I'm sorry."

"Can't do what?"

"Be this close to you. It's messing with the signals in my brain. After last night..." I sighed. "I'm already conflicted about the whole Cronus thing. I still love him. You and I had sex once and I want it to stay that way. Cuddling and being close isn't going to help my case when I try to explain to him that it was just a one-time thing; it'll be on my guilty conscience."

"Okay."

"Okay? That's all you have to say?"

"Yes, I believe so. You want to keep boundaries, and I can respect that. Sorry I was so horrible last night that you can't even imagine being with me like that at all."

"No, no. It's not like that. You were fine, I just... have some things to work over."

"Okay." She sat up normally on the couch and scooted entirely to one side.

I scooted to the other side. "Thank you."

We watched the news and ate dinner and slept in our own beds without any physical contact.

The next day was Friday. I had off work and I couldn't stand to wait any longer to confess to Cronus. It had been almost three months since his last visit, surely that was spread out enough so that another visit to Chicago wouldn't strike up too much suspicion. I woke up and texted Cronus at about 7:30 in the morning.

Cronus, I need to tell you something, but it has to be in person. I don't have work today, can you visit?

yeah sure chief
oh geez you aren't breakin up with me right

No, nothing like that. Just please come over, I need to see you in person.

aight kanny
be there in a few hours

I put my phone down and got dressed, then spent the few hours until Cronus arrived practicing what I would say in the mirror.

"Cronus, I cheated on you and I'm sorry. No, that was terrible. What about, Cronus, I just wanted to remind you that sometimes people make mistakes, and when they do, you should forgive them. No, that'll never work. Hey Cronus! Remember what I said about premarital sex? Well fuck that!"