𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝟖 (𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐂)

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟗 | 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧

MAY 12, 2004
ORLA LYNCH

Lying on my brothers bed, huddled up in his room with my head too far in skies was not how I intended my day to go. Yet here I was, and here he was, glowering at me from the corner of the room.

I didn't care that he was upset at me for smoking a wee bit of weed. It had managed to turn my brain off just when I needed it too, it managed to stop the ghosts haunting my skin for just a fraction of my day: And I wasn't stopping.

I needed a break sometimes.

A break from the guilt.

A break from the haunting memories.

A break from the constant feeling of anger.

A break from my mind.

Weed was my off switch.

A smile twisted my lips as I watched the various amounts of doodles I had drawn earlier today dance on his ceiling. "Hey, Joe."

"What."

"What's going on between you and that Aoife Molloy?" I ask, turning slightly to watch my brother.

A moment of hesitation and I had my answer. "She's my friend, Orla." I snort in response. "Do friends usually get caught scoring outside of houses in the middle of the rain. Very passionately might I add."

Green eyes flickered to mine, and they looked vaguely familiar to the ones I saw in the mirror every day. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I giggled. "January 7th, You got arrested when Paul the prick and billy the bitch, twisted the fight story to the cops, all because you got caught kissing his girl." I reminded, staring at him challengingly. "Tadgh told me all about it."

His eyes widened, the corner of his mouth lifting in a smirk. "You gave them pet names?" He scoffed out a laugh.

I only grin because I can't feel how unhappy I truly am. "I just added a note to their names to fit their characteristics." I shrugged. "Now, back to you telling me about your girlfriend."

He gave me a blank stare, grimacing too.

"She's a total ride, half the school has been fawning over her since forever—Including you. You're a lucky fella."

"Orla."

"You love her, Joe?" I ask, suddenly feeling serious and all giddy at the same time. I roll onto my back. "Have you two fucked?"

He startles back, looking around the room like he had just seen a ghost. "Where the fuck did that come from?"

"My mouth. Now can you just get on with it and tell me." I groaned, rolling onto my stomach as my eyes spun around the room. He rolled his eyes, frowning. "Shannon wouldn't ask these type of questions."

"Shannon can't ask anybody anything without getting second hand embarrassment. Me on the other hand, couldn't give a fuck about anything." I shrugged, holding my face in my hands now.

And then, a smirk tilted his mouth and he leaned forward. "I'll tell you everything about me and Molloy's relationship, apart from private information, if you tell me why you're getting high."

His words struck me on the stomach, a blow so painful I could hear the thoughts creeping back into my mind. The thought was sobering, so I didn't think it. "I want to, Joe." My tone snippier than before.

"Why? What makes you want to, Orla?" A soft tone takes to his voice and I can't help the comfort it gives me. I stay silent, the words on the tip of my tongue, begging to slip off.