𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝟖 (𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐂)

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟕 | 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧,𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝

OCTOBER 18, 2004.
ORLA LYNCH

Shannon waggled her brows at Joey. "Wow, Joe. Kind of sounds like you might be in looooove!"

"I am."

I nearly choked on my chips. My eyes bulged and I looked at Shannon who had an equal amount of shock on her face. She looked back at and Joe and grinned. "Oh my god!"

I  fisted the air in victory, nearly jumping out of my seat. "I fucking knew it!" I cheered happily.

"I was half expecting him to deny it." Shannon said, still gaping at Joe whilst I stuffed another handful of chips into my mouth. He shrugs. "There's no point, I love the girl. It is what it is."

"I knew it, I told you Shan. " I pointed a finger in her direction. "I knew it the moment we started to hear banging on the wall!" I looked back to Joe and he was giving me a look between disbelief and annoyance. "Really, Orla?" He cocked a brow, amused.

I smiled, shrugging. "Hey, I'm not the one getting up to it."

I was like this because I felt comfortable. Safe. I felt safe away from that house. Away from ghosts of memories haunting it, haunting me.

And away from him. The the man who brought me into this world, just to make every day I spend in it a living hell.

I hate him.

I ignore the anger bubbling in my chest and stuff another chip into my mouth to distract myself from the crawling sensation on my skin. I repress a shudder. "What it like?" Shannon asks, sighing contently.

"What what like, Shan?"

"Being in love." She sighed, resting her chin on her small hand, thoroughly invested in the conversation now. "What does it feel like?"

I groaned, side-eyeing my sister. "Please no."

I wasn't interested in finding love, ever. If anything, the thought scared me. Because love came with things, things that I'd never be able to offer.

I'd like to think my Mam and da's relationship shaped my opinion on the entire topic of love. It disgusted me, I rebuked the thought of physical contact—Hell, I didn't even want to look in the direction of the other species. Just because I knew what they were capable of.

How easily they'd be able to hold me down and force themselves onto me.

How easy it would be for them to hurt me.

It was the most terrifying thing to think about. Because no matter how mad I could get, or how hard I could hit, I'd never be biologically stronger than a man. Because that was life, women were inferior to men, in almost everyway physically.

It was so easy for them to hurt us. To take advantage of how much weaker we were compared to them.

Weak.
I'll always be fucking weaker than them.

But I'll always act like I'm not. Like I want to burn the entire world down and that I was capable of it. Because confidence could be scary, because you can't tell whether the person is bluffing.

I'd never want to put myself in that position, I'd never want to bring kids into that position.

Shannon slipped her hand into mine and smiled at me warmly, midnight blue eyes pleading with me. "C'mon, Orla. We need to know how it feels so we can be prepared." He juts her bottom lip out in a pout.

That won't work on me.

"Please" She begged, looking at Joey now. "Just humor me."

Joey relented to the begging, puppy dog look in her big eyes and sighed, adjusting uncomfortably in his seat. "Alright," He reached to take a sip of his Coke and thought for a moment.