Heroin(e)

Chapter Five

Dress after dress slid across the rack as I looked them over. None of them had caught my eye yet. They were cute but I needed a money maker. Something that would really put on a show. Something that wouldn't blind the customers like Jeanie's dress.

I wasn't even sure what color I wanted.

Red was a show stopper but it had been done before. By me. Pink was good...if only the pink dresses here weren't pandering to children. Blue might be okay if I looked good in blue. I sighed, shoving aside the millionth dress that was way out of my budget. Shopping was impossible. I was so incredibly picky with my clothes and I really couldn't afford to be. 

Scout was real lucky to be a dog sometimes. 

Speaking of Scout, it was much easier to shop for him. I found the pet store I occasionally took him to and scanned the shelves for the chew toy he wanted. And yes, he showed me how much he wanted that toy by wagging that tail whenever we passed it. Sometimes even snatching it off the shelf when I wasn't looking and trying to leave with it. Cheeky sneak almost got me arrested.

His toy rolled around in the shopping bag I carried with me as I meandered down rows and rows of fashion disasters they called dresses. The store wasn't slack with their heating payments and the whole building was a toasty warm. I took my wool coat off. It was suddenly much easier to picture myself wearing one of these without the bulk of my coat. Even so, nothing was right. 

An elderly woman caught sight of me from across the shop. She was shopping for sweaters and coats while I shopped for skimpy little dresses. Her eyes said it all. I looked away from her, sticking to my motto of minding my own business, hoping she would do the same. It didn't help that the clothes I was currently wearing were old and washed out, probably giving me a pathetic look. But hell, if they ain't broken, I ain't fixing them.

Swishing of dresses on their hooks hypnotized me into daydream. Should I look for something to wear when I met Bon at the diner? Something stuffed under my wool coat that nobody would even see? Fuck, I didn't need to impress him or anyone. For all he knew, the wool coat was all I wore and he still asked to see me again. I didn't have shit to prove. Still, it was a special occasion...

Tell that to my wallet.

I pushed past a hideous white dress and stopped in my tracks. The one before it was orange. I never thought to wear orange. Throwing the white one back again, I grabbed at the orange fabric and studied it. I could faintly remember wearing an orange number to my friend Ramona's quinceañera back in high school. Mom said it was our color. At the time I thought I looked like nothing but a pumpkin, despite drastic changes in my appearance since grade school. 

Holding the dress up to myself, I could see what she meant. Our skin was by no means pale, and the slightly tanned complexion along with our brown hair and eyes paired well with bright orange. The dress was short, of course, with a bit of glitter sprinkled throughout. Held up by two tiny straps and quality stitching, I considered getting it. 

My consideration grew when I saw it came with a little garter. Nothing fancy, but nothing too cheap either. I'd replace it with a better one but for now this could work. Now I just had to find a pair of matching floss.

Unless I wanted a Halloween look, I ignored the tempting black thongs and went straight for something in pink. The customers would be hard pressed to ever catch a glimpse of them but it was still a possibility, especially in summer when it was common for us to add a little flair to our dances. Pink and orange reminded me of pleasant summer sunsets. Summer in Queens, to be specific. Our apartment had a decent view of the west and sometimes I'd stay up watching the sun go down. 

Except on days when the air choked on smog. 

Finding the pair with the least amount of itchy frills and bows, I took my things with me to the checkout counter, stopping only once to admire a leather jacket on a mannequin. It was small but I knew it would drape over my bony frame. The price almost sent me running but I reconsidered. Didn't I deserve a treat once in a while? For sticking to my promise and keeping up with work? This new orange dress might help attract more attention to me when I danced and while I didn't want to upstage the other girls, I needed something to pay for expenses.