Heroin(e)

Chapter Nineteen

"No peeking, Esther." My mom guided me through the apartment, obviously very excited about something. I stumbled around blindly, wanting her to just tell me what it was she was excited about. 

"Come on, Mom, what is it?" I asked as she brought me to a stop. 

"Go ahead, open!" I opened my eyes and saw the cutest puppy I'd ever seen in my life sleeping on our living room couch. It was a Border Collie with floppy ears and soft black and white fur. I put a hand to my mouth and tears fell down my cheeks. "He's all yours."

"Are you fucking serious?" I asked, forgetting to watch my language. Mom didn't scold me; she could see I was too emotional to give a damn. "He's mine?" Mom nodded and I grabbed her for a hug. 

"I thought you could use a companion," she said. I sobbed into her shoulder while the puppy slept, completely unaware his new owner was losing control. "I hope you like him."

"I love him! Thank you!" I pulled away from her and knelt by the couch, using my shirt sleeve to wipe the tears away. The puppy was gorgeous. His ears twitched and he slowly lifted his head. Blinking and yawning, his tongue a mile long, he finally focused his attention on me and stood up, stretching and wagging his tail. "What's his name?" I asked letting him sniff my hand.

"That's up to you," Mom said. "I wanted you to have full control over the name and all that." My mind raced with possibilities. Nothing I came up with seemed good enough for such a prince. 

Not even Prince.

He stood on his hind legs to get better access to my face and I laughed as his tongue tickled my nose. His breath reeked and his nose was wet. I started crying again and he licked my salty tears away. "He's so cute...." I sobbed. "I love him."

"I'm glad," Mom said. "Ever since your dad died...and you don't see Ramona anymore....I thought maybe a dog might liven things up around here. No more dealing with boring old me."

"Don't be silly, Mom, you're not boring," I sniffled. "And right now you're the best mom ever." The puppy sniffed where he had been sleeping and explored the rest of our beat up couch. He was still too tiny to jump down by himself so I readied myself to help him when necessary. Up and down he sniffed the couch and back again.

"He's quite the little scout, isn't he?" Mom asked. Scout. That was his name. It fit like a glove. It's like I didn't even choose it, it was simply his name. And it was perfect. He came back to me and stuck his tiny tongue out to lick my chin. 

"You're my Scout," I whispered. 

**********

The smoke circled above our heads like a wreath. The bottle of Jack sat in front of us. I used Bon's shoulder as a pillow. I rolled my long sweater sleeves over my hands. With the long sleeves I was able to remove my coat. Bon's apartment was too warm for one anyway. I set my cigarette on the ash tray and closed my eyes. "You can stay the night if ya' want," Bon said. "I don't mind."

"Thanks, Bon," I said. "I might take you up on that sometime."

"Why not now?" he asked. I could feel him looking down at me.

"I've got....errands to run," I said. It was true. I was due for a food shopping trip. Should be interesting since I spent quite a bit of my saved money on more heroin after the vial ran out. So far I had been taking it for a couple weeks and I was...fine. Maybe a bit gaunt in appearance but I didn't feel addicted. I would even wait a few days before shooting up again just in case. And so far nothing fatal had happened. There'd been no need to make any promises about staying away. Bon and I were fine. Media loves to scare us.