9 years have passed since my marriage to Krishan, Shreya's deep set dead lifeless eye's, is a dead giveaway, to her inner turmoil; hopeless. She just goes about her day like a secretary for her husband. Although she takes care of her household, with a smile always, she seems to be dying inside, but remains strong enough to let go of the pain and create a happy atmosphere for everyone. She contemplates how life would have been like if she were with her lover all those years ago.
Remembering She made her Dad promise that if she was to agree with his demand to leave her lover, to get married to her Fathers choice, then he must read and acknowledge every heart felt letter she sends to him.
Finding the ounce of courage, she begins to write a letter. Looking back to the passing of a year of her marriage She eventually gave up writing letters. Her father never replied to any of them, not even acknowledge receiving them. With a sigh of regret mixed with a silent call out for help sadly she says, "Well I guess he's forgotten my promise. Would he care if I do write to him again" she writes anyway, to express her true feelings on paper.
Dear father, How are you? I am lately reminiscing about everything. From you reading a newspaper in the morning. mum, making you filter coffee. My neighbourhood friends Sulu and Laxmi. The music house, clubs, Dhaka university...And Arbaaz. I know you wish I didn't have to mention his name, I know how much it bothers you. You wanted an ideal life for your daughter, an ideal son-in-law, a cardiologist, highly paid, high standards, a good family. By you supposedly knowing what's best for me, your son-in-law should make me happy, right. In truth, I am just adjusting, even after 9 years of marriage. In your view compromising leads to happiness however, there's a difference between the two. The difference is a woman's entire life story. Your grandson Rudra came first in all his class, he will surely reach your standards, when he grows up. My husband also ensures that he only reads English books and listens to English music. Often when I am alone, I read our Bengali books and literature to him. Sometimes I feel like I read them for myself. I remind myself of those days, that I was fully engrossed in our literature. Maybe because Arbaaz had gifted me these books long ago, his name written by him is still written in the books. Missing being with you father and reminiscing old days,
Your,
Shreya.
Having finished writing the letter, I pluck up what's left of my courage to post it. The ash reddened thoughts running through my mind. "Will he even care, does anyone care for my existence".
Finally reaching the post box. Heart palpitating immeasurably, immense strain of several second thoughts, and immense guilt of the letter being a cause of father's pain. The crescendo of chatter crushes me into backing down. I retreat to the comforts of my home. Fling the damn letter into the desk draw.
Holding my head in my hand I shudder from the exhaustion. Who thought such a simple act as expressing your feelings could be so weighty? The fear of backlash has got to me.
Days, weeks, and months go by drawing the courage to send the letter and returning home dejected in the face of the terrible monstrous shadows of the post-box with their vile taunts and condescending chatter. Realising weeks will go by without Krishan speaking to me properly, I just can't stand it and finally post the damn envelope. Such overwhelming relief passes through my mind. "The letter is now out of my hand".
Krishan's days starts as normal, however looking at his social media feed, during his rare family breakfast with his son and wife, he realises that his wife's birthday announcement popped up. Krishan surprised speaks up, "oh it's your Birthday today!, Happy Birthday!!, what have you got planned for your special day", as he smiles warmly, he asks, "what would you like as a present?" Shreya in the challenging task of feeding her child Rudra breakfast, replies nonchalantly as if the norm of the household does not bother her. "Thank you, I don't want anything, but if you would like to do something for me then could you please come to Rudra's play recital this evening he would really love it, to have his father there." Krishan, being genuinely apologetic answers, "oh I'm so sorry, but I'm not complaining. You know the life of a doctor; time is never in our hands. Please could you do me one thing, could you record it for me, and I will watch it later." Politely she responds and reassures; "Yeah no problem, I will take care of it". Rudra dejected, asks his parents to pardon him, as he makes way to his room, to collect his school bag. Krishan again asks caringly, more so to change the subject, "so what have you got planned today?" Shreya feeling a little dejected, and hurt seeing her sons face saddened, tries to half-heartedly smile and replies, "well Arbaaz called to come meet him today. I don't know why he called after so long". Mentioning Arbaaz did not bother Krishan one bit, he casually non-restrictively says, "good that's fine, you should go". In a curious manor, Krishan asks, "What does he do now?" Shreya as if projecting her inner fan girl excitedly reveals "he's become a highly sought-after classical music composer. He has quite a number of prized accomplishments in the music industry, some of his music pieces are great hits, including in films".
Krishan not phased asks "has he got married?" Shreya cress fallen, hoping for a little emotion to come through replies "no he hasn't married", Krishan joining the dots advices, "he should move on, and be practical. There is no point pining over someone that is not accessible anymore. He may never know he may find someone that equally loves him". His breakfast now finished, he kisses Shreya on the forehead, and tells her to have a good Birthday, just as he is about to leave for work. Shreya now downcast whispers to herself "yeah you're right, I'll make him understand, that it's time to move on".
Hi readers thank you for reading chapter 2, I do hope you like it.
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The Letters Written
RomanceAll is well for Shreya until her past is revealed... Shreya a young woman unhappily arrange married, as her father was against her marrying her love interest at the time. Although content with her married family, she feels like she is drowning on ju...
