The Letters Written

Chapter 14: Treasured days

The next morning we sat in the garden with Illeana, as she describes the mountain, the trees, and the sweet chirps of the birds. As we sit, visualising almost meditatively.
Ileana Narrates;

"Noticing the calmness of the world around us. Taking in the experience of an unshakable, almost eternal mountain, that sees the sun travel across the sky and at night witness countless stars and galaxies. Witnessing the cycle of days and nights that comes and goes. makes us realise that good and bad times are fleeting moments, that will always be replaced. but the mountain will always stay still, without disruption by changing environment around it or changing of seasons".

thus sat on cushions outside we began planning the outline of the story. The tellings of the Ebs and flow of life seemed so easy for Ileana, it just seemed to flow out of her as if she were singing to the wind, the trees and the chirping birds around her.

How I wish to be those, melodious birds, she speaks of. Chirping the cheery tune. How marvellous the world she sees, to what I couldn't have imagined. Descriptions so vivid, it brought the suns heat to my skin, basking in that summer sun. Soaking in the rays thats put their hand on my head to bless me for writing such talent to paper.

She seems so angelic, illeana in her soft pearl like skin to my darker complexion. Seems rather fitting of an angel. Dare I say it aloud as to provoke angels to come down to spend time with their own. And perhaps leave me just in a mesmerised stupor.

Just incredible.

She stopped so sudden. Her face creased.
"Is everything ok?"Said Shreya almost pacifying puffing up the pillows around her.

The contorted knot in between her eyes. Spoke volumes of discomfort but to what.

Still wrestling, Illeana said nothing.

"I want to stop for the day. Hemen!" She called out.

Hemen was there in an instant. Holding her he gently lifted her up to exit the room. Shreya followed suit.

The next thing I knew. I was told to leave.

A little after returning home. The consequences of todays events left me vomiting in the sink. I felt as if life had been drained. Exhausted from the mental chatter, almost wishing to end it all, as my inadequacy has torn a bridge between my first client and I. 

My son Rudra, walked up to me as I gently stroke his hair. I contemplated that this kind of work is not worth the hassle of mental stress.

I look to my son. What would happen if I were to be gone. I would leave my dear child in the hands of god. Although with loved ones I felt truly alone in my despair. No one to recognise my internal monologue nor to be saved, perhaps a feminine presence as a mother in law would have been my need, but a las, I can not reap that happiness in life. 

All alone in this massive house we call home. 

Could it be the coincidences of Illeana's behaviour that has me thinking of what I am to do in life, will I also get credit for doing what I do? 

I attended to Rudra's dinner. Before having nothing for myself I slung my self to wallow in self pitying sleep.   

Reality is another matter. having seen no sign of Shreya upon my entry. Something disturbed within me. "you have come son" called out Krishans father from the living room.

I bow to touch his feet, before looking for Shreya. "she's not feeling well son, there's food on the table. go freshen up, I'll get it to your table". Looking disapprovingly up stairs to our bedroom, I head to the kitchen. 

 Last night I dreamt of being the same boy, who played in the fields with his friends all day running back into my house with a bat in hand and ball in the other. Hungry not just for food, but also to tell my grandfather how well I scored 3 consecutive sixers, practically the star player. 

My mother and grandmother sat in a room overlooking the banks of our small lake. I carelessly passed by without paying attention to them, when all of a sudden it flashed through my mind with unutterable longing that these three precious people were there. 

At once I went to each to bow low touching their feet with my head, then touching the dust of their foot to my head with my hands, and finally placing a hand to my heart. 

My mother held my head in her hand. Both looked at me in joy, and said "you have come!"

I realised through my dream, that in this world we live we become so busy in our daily lives, we carelessly pass by rooms they are in. The kitchen is open when we want food, our beds are ready when we must sleep, only voices and touch are wanting. 

We are so busy these days that the experience will never come close to these precious moments with these personal presence, to be held, and greeted: "you have come!. 

As I wake, I find the buzzing of the phone telling me it's my wedding anniversary, a special day where we not only cut cake with the relatives and neighbours. We also light a candle in our local mandir. 

In the morning the sun comes up, brightly to welcome Rudra, loudly announcing himself. Bathing and with the effort of cleaning Rudra. We leave for the Mandir, as we all light a candle, Shreya helping Rudra to keep it standing using the melted wax as an adhesive. We stand in front of our deity hand held in prayer, we then bow our heads low touching the floor in which the deity stands in front of us. 

At dusk, I return from the hospital I see the stars holding up their light in the sky, but in vain, as the light of my world coming through our glass window terrace eclipse the lights of the world. Cake in hand welcoming our guests we happily light candles on the cake. Wishing my dear Shreya and I a happy anniversary as we blow out the candles. Music plays in the background, children play together, friends and family rejoice in laughter, cool soft drinks and paper plates of cake in hand, waiting for the main course of curry meat dishes, samosas, pakora and pilau to be served. 

My mother in law in the kitchen in the kitchen softly cutting cake pieces for our guests. Every so often she would wet the blade in hot water before cutting a few pieces, frantically helping beside her was Shreya. Oh how I am unable to stop gazing at her. She finally catches my eyes and smiles at me. Rudra storms in with a bunch of children for their plates. My mother in law and Shreya smiles warmly, she held Rudra by the hand and said; "you have come!"

My world has undeniably has become beautiful. So what still troubles Shreya, could I still be looking at this one sided. Again has my mistakes come to the forefront. 

Okay, I have to ask... What would you have done if you were in Shreya's shoes? Let's chat in the comments, and don't forget to leave a vote if you're enjoying the story so far!