Beyond: Beyond the Lights

Chapter 9

JAMES

The drive to my parents' new house was always a mixed bag of relief and restlessness. Relief because, amidst the chaos of college and football, their place was a sanctuary for both me and Maria as well as Kian. Restlessness because it was a constant reminder of the demands of my schedule and the weight of managing it all.

Today has been particularly intense. My first day of classes at the new college had been a whirlwind of introductions and syllabi. I'd run into Madi in the student union-she had a way of popping up when I least expected it. After a brief chat, I ended up buying her a coffee. It turned out we both had a penchant for iced vanilla lattes, which was a small, comforting coincidence in the midst of so many changes.

Madi and I had walked across campus to our shared accounting class, engaging in casual conversation that felt oddly grounding. It was strange how a simple conversation about coffee and accounting could momentarily ease the tension of starting over.

I pulled into the driveway of Lucy's new house, the setting sun casting long shadows across the manicured lawn. As I made my way to the door, I couldn't help but think about how much had changed since we'd moved to LA. The new house, the new city, and the endless list of adjustments were starting to feel like a puzzle I was slowly piecing together.

Mom greeted me with her usual warmth, though today her smile seemed a bit tired. "Hey, Jamie. How was your first day?"

"Hey, Mom," I said, leaning in for a quick hug. "It was hectic but good. Met a few people, got settled into my classes. And, uh, I ran into Madi-she's in my accounting class. We had coffee and talked a bit."

Lucy's eyes twinkled with curiosity. "Madi, huh? She seems nice. How did that go?"

"It went well," I replied, trying to keep the casual tone in my voice. "We have a lot in common, including a taste for iced vanilla lattes."

Lucy laughed softly. "It's always nice to find someone with shared interests. Anyway, Maria's been looking forward to seeing you."

I followed Lucy into the living room, where Maria was sprawled on the floor, surrounded by a jumble of toys and art supplies. Her face lit up with a joyful grin when she saw me.

"Daddy!" she squealed, bounding towards me. "Look at the new picture I made!"

I crouched down to her level, my heart swelling as I took in the colorful drawing she presented. "It's beautiful, Maria. You've been working hard on this!"

She nodded vigorously. "I made it for you! And Grandma helped me with the stars."

Lucy appeared beside us, holding a snack for Maria. "She's been busy. We've had a pretty good day. I think she's been missing you."

I smiled at my mom. "Thanks for keeping her entertained. I know it's a lot to ask."

"It's no trouble at all," Lucy said, patting my shoulder. "It's actually nice having some extra time with her. I just hope you're managing okay with everything."

I glanced around the room, taking in the comforting normalcy of it. "I'm making it work. Some days are better than others. But having Maria here, and knowing she's happy, makes it all worthwhile."

We spent a few more minutes at Lucy's house, chatting about Maria's day and making plans for the next few days. As I packed up Maria's things, ready to head back to our apartment, I felt a twinge of guilt about not being able to spend more time with my mom. But I also knew that this was part of the deal-juggling school, football, and fatherhood requires sacrifices.

Luckily, my mother helped me get Maria into the car, handing me a small bag with snacks and a few extra toys to keep Maria entertained on the short drive. "Drive safely, Jamie. And remember, if you need anything, don't hesitate to call."

"I will," I said, giving her another hug before getting into the car. "Thanks again for everything."

As I drove back to the apartment, Maria chattered excitedly about her day and the picture she'd made. I listened, soaking in her enthusiasm and trying to push aside the nagging feeling that I was always running on empty.

The apartment was a cozy mess when we arrived - Kian's football gear scattered in the living room, and the faint smell of leftover takeout lingering in the air. It wasn't perfect, but it was home.

I settled Maria into her small, brightly decorated pink room and tucked her in, her eyelids drooping as she clutched her favorite stuffed animal. "Goodnight princess. Sweet dreams. I love you."

She smiled sleepily. "Goodnight, Daddy. Love you too."

As I left her room and headed to the living area, I felt a profound sense of tiredness settle over me. I plopped onto the couch, trying to relax. The day's events - Madi, classes, the endless cycle of responsibilities - felt like they had drained every ounce of energy I had.

But amid the exhaustion, there was also a quiet satisfaction. Madi had been a pleasant surprise, someone who could help make this transition a bit smoother. And despite the constant whirlwind, moments like these - quiet evenings with Maria, simple interactions with friends and family - were what made it all worth it.

I took a deep breath, letting the weight of the day settle in. Tomorrow would bring its own set of challenges and uncertainties, but for now, I had this small, quiet moment to appreciate. And that, in its own way, was a victory.