Beyond: Beyond the Lights

Chapter 34

JAMES

Hospitals and I had never gotten along. I hated them - the smell of disinfectant, the cold, impersonal feel of the rooms, the beeping of the machines that never seemed to stop. It was impossible to get comfortable, and everything reminded me of bad memories I'd tried to bury.

But Madi was here. Her hand in mine, her presence grounding me, making everything else fade into the background. Still, the pain from my broken arm was relentless, pulsing with every heartbeat. I tried not to wince, but I couldn't help it sometimes.

"You okay?" she asked, her voice soft, concern filling her eyes as she sat beside me in the hospital room.

I let out a small laugh, trying to make light of it. "Yeah, I'm fine... just, you know, hospitals." Her brow furrowed, but there was a small smile on her lips. "You and hospitals don't really mix, huh?"

I sighed, leaning my head back against the pillow. "Not exactly. I've hated them since I was a kid."

Madi turned slightly, her eyes curious now. "What happened?"

I swallowed hard, the memories of that day flooding back as I stared at the ceiling. It was something I hadn't talked about in a long time. "When I was eight, I was playing football in the park with Kian and my cousin Noel. We were just kids, you know, messing around. Kian overthrew the ball, and it rolled into the street."

Madi's hand tightened on mine as I continued, her eyes locked on my face.

"I ran after it," I said, my voice quiet. "I didn't see the car coming. I was just a kid, not thinking... Noel saw it, though. He didn't even hesitate. He jumped in front of the car and pushed me out of the way."

Madi's breath hitched, her eyes filling with sympathy.

"He saved my life," I whispered, my throat tight with emotion. "But he didn't make it. Noel... he was only fifteen. He died saving me."

I could feel the tears stinging at the corners of my eyes, but I blinked them away. "That's why Maria's middle name is Noelle. I wanted a part of him to live on. He was my hero."

Madi's hand came up to gently cup my face, her thumb brushing away a tear that had escaped. "Jamie... I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

I nodded, trying to hold myself together. "I hate hospitals because of that day. I remember the doctors, the funeral... everything. It just brings it all back."

Madi was quiet for a moment, her eyes searching mine. "Is that why you're always trying to save everyone? Why you put everyone else first, even if it hurts you?"

I looked away, my jaw tightening. "I guess... yeah. I feel like I owe Noel. He gave up everything for me. I need to give back. I need to protect people, the way he protected me."

Madi's eyes softened, and she leaned in closer, her voice low and filled with emotion. "Jamie, you don't have to carry that weight alone. You don't always have to be the one saving everyone else."

"I just... I can't help it," I admitted, my voice breaking slightly. "I feel like if I don't, I'm letting him down."

Madi's hand squeezed mine, her eyes shining with tears of her own. "I love how much you care about people, Jamie. But you can't keep putting yourself last. I need you to be safe. I need you to take care of yourself - for me, for Maria, for our family."

I nodded, swallowing hard. "I'll try. I promise."

She leaned in, pressing her forehead against mine, her breath warm against my skin. "I don't want to lose you."

I closed my eyes, letting her words settle over me. "You won't."

For a few moments, we sat there in silence, her forehead resting against mine, and the tension from the night slowly faded away. Madi's presence was a balm to all the worry and fear I'd been carrying around, and in that moment, I knew I was exactly where I needed to be - with her.But then, Madi pulled back slightly, and I saw something flicker in her eyes. Something she hadn't said yet.