Beyond: Beyond the Lights

Chapter 18

MADELINE

Sebastian: J's a good guy. One of the best I've met in a while.

I woke up to the text from my younger brother, checking the time of the text: 2:45 AM. What the hell was going on? Why was Seb texting me about Jamie at quarter to three in the morning? Despite the lingering anxiety from my conversation with Dad, I was determined to meet Jamie at the campus coffee shop to study for our accounting midterm. I felt that focusing on our exam might help clear my mind. I dressed quickly and made my way over, eager to push aside the confusion from the previous night.

As I entered the coffee shop, I spotted Jamie already at a table, buried in his textbooks and notes. His face lit up when he saw me.

"Hey, Madi," he greeted warmly. "Thanks for coming. I've got everything set up here. Ready to get into it?"

I managed a smile, trying to set aside my worries. "Definitely. Let's dive in."

We started studying, and for a while, I got lost in the material. Jamie was focused and helpful, which helped me concentrate on the exam. However, during a brief break, I wandered over to a campus newspaper stand near the entrance. One of the papers caught my eye with a headline that seemed too shocking to ignore: Local Football Star's Troubling Past Exposed.

My heart pounded as I picked up the paper and saw Jamie's mugshot from high school. The article detailed an arrest related to drug possession. It explained that drugs had been found on Jamie, but there was no evidence he had sold them, and he had never had a drug problem. Despite the misunderstanding, it was still a painful reminder of his past.

Tears pricked at my eyes as I read the article. The weight of the revelation was heavy. Jamie had made efforts to move forward and rebuild his life, but seeing his past laid out so publicly was jarring. I felt a mix of sadness and confusion, struggling to reconcile the person I knew with the young man described in the article.

Unable to face Jamie or deal with the situation in the coffee shop, I quickly grabbed a few copies of the newspaper and left. The cold morning air hit my face as I hurried back to the dorm, my emotions in turmoil.

Once I was inside my room, I collapsed onto my bed and spread out the newspaper. My hands were shaking as I re-read the article, trying to absorb the details. The knowledge that Jamie hadn't sold drugs and didn't have a drug problem was some comfort, but it didn't erase the shock of the revelation or the confusion about how to process it.

I sat there in silence, feeling a deep sense of sadness and uncertainty. Jamie had been open about many things, but this was a new layer to his story that I hadn't expected. I didn't know how to approach him about this or what to say. For now, I needed to find a way to process what I had learned and figure out my next steps and that included powering down my phone to avoid the notifications between Jamie and Elena that I knew were there.

Sitting on my bed with the newspaper spread out in front of me, I struggled to make sense of everything. The revelation about Jamie's past was hitting me harder than I anticipated and I wasn't sure why. The article clarified that Jamie hadn't been involved in selling drugs and didn't have a drug problem, the public exposure of his past was disheartening. Maybe it was the revelation and how it didn't come directly from him that hurt the most.

I kept replaying the information from the article in my head. Jamie had been found with drugs, but there was no indication he had a drug problem or was involved in dealing. He had likely been caught in a situation that didn't reflect who he was now. But seeing it in print made it feel more real and inescapable.

My thoughts were a whirlwind. I had always admired Jamie's efforts to turn his life around, and it seemed like he was genuinely trying to make a positive impact. But the stark reality of his past being so publicly exposed created a rift between the man I knew and the troubled young man from the article.

The conflict I felt wasn't just about Jamie's past; it was also about my father's warnings. Dad had been vague and ominous, hinting that Jamie might not be who he seemed. While I had tried to trust my own feelings, this new information made me question if there was more to what Dad had been concerned about.

I thought about Jamie's sincerity and the way he had always been open with me. He had never shied away from discussing his life, and I believed he was genuinely working hard to be a better person. But now, I was struggling with how to approach him. I didn't want to confront him with accusations or misunderstandings, but I also couldn't ignore the disquiet that this revelation stirred in me.

As I sat alone in my dorm room, I tried to calm my racing thoughts. I knew I needed to process this information and decide how to handle it. The last thing I wanted was to make a rash decision based on shock and hurt. I needed to approach the situation with care and understanding.

For now, I decided to take some time to reflect. I would give myself the space to absorb the news and figure out how to reconcile this new piece of Jamie's past with my feelings for him. I knew I needed to talk to Jamie, but I wanted to do so when I felt more clear-headed and less overwhelmed.