Beyond: Beyond the Lights

Chapter 20

MADELINE

When I heard the knock on my dorm room door, I felt a surge of panic. My emotions were still raw from the shock of the newspaper article, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to face Jamie. My heart raced as I moved to the door, my eyes red from crying.

I peeked through the peephole and saw Jamie standing there, looking anxious and determined. Seeing him on the other side of the door brought a fresh wave of emotions-confusion, sadness, and a flicker of hope. I had been grappling with the shock of the article, trying to understand how the man I had come to care for could have such a troubled past.

I hesitated before opening the door, unsure of what to say or how to react. When I finally did open it, I saw Jamie's earnest face, and it was clear that he was struggling with his own emotions. His apology and explanation came pouring out, and I could hear the sincerity in his voice.

As he spoke, I felt a mix of anger and sympathy. Part of me was hurt that he hadn't trusted me enough to share his past, but another part of me understood the fear he must have had. The vulnerability in his eyes made me question whether I had been too quick to judge him based on the article.

Jamie's explanation about wanting to protect me and his fears of losing me struck a chord. I could see how much he cared, and it made me reflect on how I had reacted impulsively. I had been overwhelmed by the shock of the article and hadn't given him a chance to explain his side of the story.

I stepped aside to let Jamie into my room, my emotions still in turmoil. As we sat down, I could feel the weight of the moment. The newspaper had been a harsh reminder of Jamie's past, but hearing him speak so openly about it was a chance to understand him better.

"What else do you want me to know?" I asked, trying to steady my voice. "I need to understand why you didn't tell me about this before."

Jamie took a deep breath, looking relieved but still nervous. "I was afraid of how you'd see me. I wanted to show you who I am now, not just the mistakes I made in the past. I care about you, Madi, and I didn't want to jeopardize what we had by not being honest from the start."

His words made me rethink everything. I had been so focused on the shock of his past that I hadn't fully considered his feelings or his reasons. The truth was that Jamie had made an effort to turn his life around, and his past, while troubling, was not the whole story.

"I appreciate you coming here and being honest with me," I said, my voice softening. "It's a lot to process, but I want to understand and see where we can go from here. I just need some time to work through my feelings."

Jamie nodded, a look of relief crossing his face. "I understand. Take all the time you need. I'm here and willing to be patient. I just hope we can work through this together."

As we sat together, I realized that this was a turning point. Jamie had been open about his past, and now it was up to me to decide how to move forward. It wouldn't be easy, but I wanted to give him a chance to prove himself and to see if our connection could withstand this new challenge.

When Jamie started speaking, his voice trembled with a mix of nervousness and relief. I could tell he was deeply affected by the situation, and I listened intently, trying to absorb everything he was saying.

"Madi, I need you to know the full story before," he began, his gaze fixed on the floor. "The reason I didn't tell you about my past is because I was trying to protect those I care about, and I didn't want to hurt you."

He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Back during my junior year of high school, Kian and I decided to pull a prank on our rival school's football field. Kian was a sophomore at the time, and he had been struggling a lot. His father was abusive, and he was in a really bad place."

Jamie's eyes were filled with a mixture of guilt and sorrow. "Kian had some drugs on him - drugs that were meant for a different purpose than what most people might assume. Drugs that Kian was using to help mask the pain his father put him through. During the prank, I saw that he had them with him, and I knew he was in a tough spot. I took the drugs from his pockets and told him to run. I wanted to protect him."

He looked up at me, his expression pained. "Kian ran off and went to my parents, telling them about the prank but not mentioning the drugs. He made it seem like I was the only one involved. I ended up taking the fall for everything, and I ended up serving time because of it. My mom helped to reduce my sentence to nine months, and with good behavior, I was released early."

I listened in shock, trying to process the new information. "So you were covering for Kian?"

"Yes," Jamie nodded. "He was in a bad place, and I couldn't let him take the fall for something he was struggling with. The whole thing was supposed to be a stupid prank, but it ended up being much worse."

He continued, his voice breaking slightly. "During the time I was in jail, my parents helped raise Maria. Caroline, my wife, had passed away during childbirth. I was devastated. The arrest happened right after Maria was born, and I couldn't be there for her or Caroline. That was one of the hardest parts of it all."

Jamie's eyes were filled with a mix of sadness and determination. "Kian had planned the prank as a way to cheer me up after losing Caroline, but it ended up backfiring in a way neither of us expected. I wanted to protect him and be there for my daughter, and that's why I didn't tell anyone about my past until now."

He looked at me, his expression earnest. "I know it's a lot to take in, and I understand if you need time. I just wanted you to know the full truth, and that I've been trying to build a better life for my daughter and myself since then. I care about you, Madi, and I wanted you to hear it from me, not from a newspaper."

I sat there, absorbing everything Jamie had shared. It was a lot to process, but his honesty and the depth of his story touched me. I could see how much he had sacrificed and how deeply he cared for his daughter and his friends. It made me question my initial reactions and realize that there was more to Jamie than what was presented in the article.

"I appreciate you telling me all of this," I said softly, my voice filled with emotion. "It's a lot to take in, but I'm glad you were honest with me. I need some time to work through this, but I want to understand you better and see where things can go from here."

Jamie nodded, a look of relief washing over him. "Take all the time you need. I'm here for you, and I hope we can work through this together. I just want you to know that I'm doing my best to be a better person for Maria and for you."

As we sat in silence, I felt a mix of sadness and hope. Jamie's story had given me a new perspective on him, and I knew that understanding his past was an important step in figuring out our future.