EDITED - 111115
He brought me to his hotel room without saying anything and I just kept quiet. I was thinking that I need to apologize to him.
" What would you like to drink?" He asked as he got wineglasses from the cupboard.
" Anything is ok." I said quietly.
He got a pink wine from the chiller and pour it on the glass. He gave me one and I smiled after I tasted it.
" good?" He asked again and I just nod my head.
He motioned for us to sit in the couch in the living area. His hotel suite has a dining cum living area and one bedroom. Its a bit spacious and I expected it. Yonghwa is a successful businessman. He always wants the best.
The silence was a bit tense. He keep on looking at me from the rim of his wineglass and I felt a little unease. His eyes are glinting with hate and it makes me feel sad.
" So..." I said when I cant stand it anymore. He got the bottle and poured himself another shot. " I guess I congratulations is in order. Youre getting married."
My voice trailed as I swallowed a lump in my throat. I cough to hide it waiting for his response.
" mmm. " he said as he finished his drink before talking. " I am. Im getting married to Eunji. "
" do you love her?" I cant stop myself from asking. His eyes narrowed at me before he laugh mirthlessly.
" of all the fuc..... " he shake his head. " youre asking me that question? What do you know about it? You of all people shouldnt ask that because you know me. " He look directly at me and drank another shot. He stood up and prowled the floor like a caged tiger. Stress evident on his shoulders.
" Yonghwa. " I called his name. He look at me with so much hatred in his eyes. I flinched.
" what? You destroyed me pau! Did you know what I felt all those years when you left? I thought youre just getting cold feet. I tried to find you and what did I find? I saw you with a man!" He shouted the last part and I was surprised.
" w-what are you saying? I didnt..." I stammered.
" you didnt ? You never loved me! You played with me.. toyed with me because you know that I loved you. I was going insane! I was worried but then I saw you with him. Thats when I realized you are a lying bitch all those times. " he was panting from his anger his hands clenching on his side. He poured and drank another shot.
" t-thats not true Yong. There never was another man. I left..." My breath caught in my throat when he slammed his closed fist on the small table.
" Dammit Pau stop lying to me!" He shouted at me. " even your brother doesnt know where you are! "
I hastily wipe the tears from my face. " then why? Why did you bring me here?"
" You think...? Oh my god! You think I still love you? Youre here for my revenge! Im gonna use you just like what you did to me."his voice was ominous and I was a bit scared. He wanted to use me?
He slowly approach me and I back off. He didnt stop until my back was on the wall, I got nowhere else to go.
His hand touch my face and he kissed me hard. I felt my mouth being nipped and I sighed. His kiss although rough, still felt the same.
"Please stop.." I asked him my eyss closed.
"Stop? Dont tell me you dont want this. You came with me with this in mind. " he whispered.
I took a deep breath. I have hurt him so bad. He became like this because of me. He doesnt deserve it. All these Ive done for Min. I didnt even stop to think if it will hurt Yong.
After all these time, I know that he is the only one for me. He started kissing my face when I didnt reply to him.
I made a decision just then. I put my hands to his nape and pulled him to me then I kissed him back with passion.
He suddenly look confused. I felt so sad for him and I debated in my head if I should do it or not.
But what the hell...
I stood on tiptoe and brush my lips on his. He stilled for a fracture of a second, then he kissed me deeply. With a fevered frenzy that made my heart ache for him even more. I missed him.
It might be the wine, Im not sure but for now, I dont care.
My hands has a mind of their own as I pulled him down. His kisses travelled down to my chin then my neck and I can help the moan that escape as I tried to get oxegyn to my lungs. His kisses always make me breathless.
I unbutton his shirt and he pulled my shirt off, as his lips left my body scorching hot. Then he resumed kissing me and I can feel his skin on mine.
" shit baby..I missed you.."
His breathing coming in gasps as I look in his eyes. For a moment I saw it. The tenderness he always shown me everytime he kiss me or look at me. The hurt of the past years forgotten as we undress each other. His mouth skillful as ever and Im a quivering mess as we made out.
Before it got out of hand he always stopped. He always told we should wait till were married. But I dont want to stop not now. Maybe later, after I thought about everything. Now I only want to feel him and love him. The past three years made me bolder and I just hope Im doing this right.
His hands roamed on my body as we step in sync till my legs felt something soft and he lay me slowly on the sofa. He look at me as if were still in love like before and I inhaled softly. I will remember how he look tonight. I will remember those eyes. He hesitated and I became impatient. I tug his arms and pull him to me and I kiss him again.
" I..want you..please.." I whisper as I bit him on the shoulder and I heard him groan.
He move slowly. His mouth tasting my skin as I shudder at his touch. He lay on top of me as his knee parted my legs.
I always dreamed of giving him this as a present on our wedding night. But theres not gonna be a wedding night for us. He is engaged and Im going back to my life in seclusion and this night will be a memory. Ill keep this in my heart forever.
I gasp as I felt him inside of me and I bit my lip to stop making a noise. He moved slowly then his actions became hurried. First theres pain then I felt an overwhelming burn that started at the pit of my stomach and spread on my body. I hold on his shoulders tight as he pushed me to the brink. I close my eyes as I felt I was flying. My mind registering him calling my name as he came after. I close my eyes pretending sleep. I dont want to talk to him about anything. I heard his gasp as he cradled me in his chest.
" Pauline..I..didnt know.." Was his frantic whisper and I just sigh. I cuddled to feel his warmth and I feel him carrying me to his room in his bed as he lay us both. He cover us with the soft sheet and he kiss my forehead.
After a few minutes hes asleep. I open my eyes and turn to look at him. He look so peaceful sleeping like a baby and my heart ache again. I will never see this again.
He isnt mine to keep.
I slowly get up and gather my clothes thats strewn on the floor.
Then tiptoe out of his room. Out of his life again.
