I'm not me

Part 15

✨A/N as someone who identifies as asexual I found this really hard to write however it's an idea that I wanted to incorporate as I feel it's important to Charlie's journey.
There is also a warning when the Smut starts (tbh I have no idea if it is good, I kinda grabbed ideas from past books I've read on here.)✨

Almost three months after Charlie came out to Nick, she had been exploring a more feminine side of herself, which Nick fully embraced. On this Friday night, Charlie was lounging on the couch, watching TV and waiting for Nick to come home. Nick had mentioned he'd be working late, wrapping up tasks and preparing for the weekend.

Throughout the day, Charlie had kept herself busy with cleaning, shopping, and various household chores. As 5:30 PM approached, she sprang off the couch, knowing Nick would likely be home by 6:15 PM.

Charlie had been eager to challenge herself with something new. She headed to their bedroom and retrieved a box from the back of the cupboard. This box contained clothes she hadn't worn in ages, and nestled beneath them was a black leather skirt and a top that Nick had never seen before.

Charlie changed into the outfit and then stood in front of the bathroom mirror, contemplating whether to put her hair up. After a moment's thought, she decided to go for it and pulled her hair into a ponytail. Her hair had grown to just above her shoulders, and the sleek style complemented her look perfectly.

Charlie checked the time and saw a message from Nick.

6:10 Nickzz:
"Hey baby girl, hope you had a good day. I'm sorry I'm only just leaving work now. I'll see you shortly. Nick xx"

Charlie realized she had about ten minutes before Nick would be home, so she quickly tidied up and then sat on the couch to wait for him.

At 6:30, the front door swung open, and Charlie took a deep, shaky breath, bracing herself for what was about to unfold.

"Hey, I'm home. Sorry I'm late, I went to the—" Nick's voice faltered as he caught sight of Charlie.

"Hi! How was your day?" Charlie asked, sensing that Nick was momentarily at a loss for words.

"It was good. How about yours?" Nick replied, trying to sound casual.

"It was good," Charlie answered with a smile.

Nick headed into the kitchen to put away the groceries. "I picked up some food for dinner. I was thinking of making pasta with minced meat. Is that alright?"

"That sounds great," Charlie said, relieved.

"Perfect. I'll start on that. Want to pick a movie for us to watch while I cook?"

"Sure!" Charlie responded, heading towards the living room to find a film.

About an hour later, Charlie and Nick were curled up on the couch, just like every Friday night. Dinner had been enjoyed, and the movie was playing softly in the background. Charlie was sitting on Nick's lap, her head resting against his chest as she watched the film. Nick gently kissed the top of her head and ran his fingers through her hair.

As they settled into the cozy moment, Charlie shifted slightly and began kissing Nick, her movements becoming more intimate. She adjusted her position, now straddling Nick's lap, and continued to kiss him deeply, eventually focusing on his weak spot.

"Char... Charlieee," Nick murmured, his voice a mix of surprise and affection.

"Baby, what are you doing?" Nick asked, catching his breath. "You know that's my weak spot."

"Yes, I know, Nick. I'm not clueless," Charlie replied with a playful smile.

"Sweetheart, if you want what I think you're aiming for, just tell me. I'm here for you. I just want to make sure you're comfortable and ready."

"I think I am, Nick. I know we haven't done anything since I started this journey, which I completely respect and appreciate. But I want to challenge myself," Charlie said earnestly. "Only if you're okay with it."

Nick felt a surge of happiness at Charlie's willingness to take this step. "Alright then, if you're ready, I'm ready too. Shall we move this to the bedroom?"

"Please!" Charlie said eagerly as Nick stood up. She wrapped her legs and arms around him, and he gently cupped her checks with his hands, carrying her towards the bedroom.

Once they were in the bedroom, Nick locked the door (as it was just a habit from their teen years being in a house with other people home.) He gently laid Charlie down on the bed. He looked at her with a tender expression and said, "If you need to stop at any point, just let me know. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I'm here to follow your lead, so if you need a break or want to pause, please tell me immediately. I'm not going to rush anything."

"Thank you, Nick. I really appreciate that," Charlie said, gazing into his eyes. "Now, can we focus on this moment? I'm ready."

Nick nodded, his smile warm and reassuring. He felt confident in her readiness and was determined to make the experience as comfortable and meaningful as possible for both of them.

Smut

They started kissing, feeling the moment and warmth between them. Nick began massaging Charlie's hair without breaking their kisses.

"Char?" he whispered.

"Mm?" Charlie responded, trying not to stop the kiss.

"Can I take your hair down?"

"Of course," she replied. Nick carefully lifted her head and removed the hair tie, letting her hair fall freely.

A little while later, they started picking up the pace.

"Oh Char, when did you get this top?" Nick asked, noticing her outfit.

"You know, the day I went shopping with Elle."

"Did I tell you how good you look in that leather skirt?"

"I don't know. Remind me, Nicholas," Charlie teased.

"Char!" Nick whispered as he kissed her neck.

"Can I take your shirt off, Nick?"

"Yes, please," Nick responded eagerly. He got off Charlie so she could sit up, but once the shirt was off, she pushed him back down.

"Charlie," Nick moaned as she began running her fingers along his chest, kissing every part of his smooth torso.

"Oh my god, Nick, you don't know how much I missed being able to see and touch your six-pack."

"Char, what are you doing to me, baby?" Nick said, feeling lost for words and trying hard not to get too turned on.

Ten minutes later, the only piece of clothing Nick had on was his underwear. Charlie was straddled on top of his hips, supported by Nick's knees behind her back, with his hands resting just above her hips and occasionally moving to her cheeks. Their movements were slow and intimate.

"I love you, Charlie," Nick murmured.

"I love you too, Nick," she replied.

Nick began to run his hands up under Charlie's top. When he reached the top, he flipped them over and started to grind, creating bigger movements.

"Nick," Charlie moaned softly, feeling the pleasure intensify.

As Nick's hard member pressed against the leather skirt, he somehow managed to slide his hands up and under it. Charlie's body responded, but her mind started to spiral with negative thoughts. The overwhelming feelings reminded her of past insecurities and fears, causing her to panic.

First, Charlie tensed her body, then closed her eyes to hide the tears that were forming. She tried to stay calm and attempted to move Nick off her, but she couldn't get the words out. When that didn't work, all she could think of was aggressively pushing Nick off and screaming, "NICK, GET OFF ME!" Her forceful push was successful, and she quickly got up and ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind her before sliding down the wall and crying out loud.