Resilience

Fifteen

<Ellie>

Ellie: Black? Really? All the beautiful colors and blacks really your favorite?

Xavier: —goes with everything. What about you? What's yours?

Ellie: Purple.

Xavier and I have been texting back and forth ever since he dropped me off at work earlier this week. Even though he's been out of town, our conversations have been a comforting constant. Last night, he called me when he sensed something was off. I was grateful for his intuition.

Yesterday, I dropped Tate off for his three-week trip. As he bounded out of the car with a bright smile, his excitement was contagious, and I felt a pang of happiness for him. Still, the thought of not seeing him for weeks tugged at my heartstrings. I tried to mask my feelings, but as soon as I returned to the quiet, empty house, I couldn't hold back the tears. They fell silently, a release for the ache of separation.

Determined to keep my mind occupied, I dove into chores and cleaning, preparing for the week ahead. My phone buzzed occasionally with Xavier's messages, but I was so engrossed in my tasks that I barely noticed. When I finally looked at my phone, I was surprised to find several missed texts and two missed calls.

I dialed Xavier's number, and his deep, warm voice on the other end brought a semblance of comfort to my otherwise somber mood.

"Hey, sorry, I was caught up with cleaning and didn't hear my phone," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "Is everything okay?"

There was a pause, followed by a deep sigh. "Yes, everything's fine. I just hadn't heard from you today."

His concern was like a balm to my restless heart, and a small smile tugged at my lips. The silence stretched between us, filled with unspoken emotions, before he broke it gently.

"Everything alright?" he asked again.

I hesitated before answering, my voice trembling ever so slightly. "Um, yeah, I guess," I replied, feeling a lump form in my throat. "I just dropped Tate off for his trip tonight." The sadness in my tone made me cringe, like a reminder of my own weakness.

"He's going to be fine," he said, trying to offer comfort. "You mentioned the coach's family is wonderful, and the program is a fantastic opportunity."

"I know, I know!" I said quickly, trying to dismiss my own worries. "Don't laugh, okay? I guess I'm just being selfish. I came home and our place feels so empty. I already miss him."

"You're not selfish," he said, his voice more firm than I'd ever heard it before. "You're a great mom, and it's because you love him so much that you're feeling this way. That's why you're letting him go, and it's why you miss him now." His voice softened, wrapping around his words like a gentle embrace.

"Xavier—" I began, uncomfortable with the sincerity in his voice.

"Will you go on a date with me?" he asked, surprising me with his sudden shift.

"Wh-what? Now?" I stammered, caught off guard.

"I'm still out of town, I should be back in a day or two. How about Tuesday?" His voice carried a hint of vulnerability that made his offer feel even more heartfelt.

"I'd like that," I answered, a smile creeping onto my lips despite the heaviness in my heart.

We talked for another hour, our conversation drifting through light-hearted banter and small talk until the clock ticked past midnight. I fought to stay awake, my eyelids heavy with fatigue, as we said our goodnights. Even after we hung up, the warmth of his voice lingered, comforting me as I fell asleep.