Hidden Flame

Chapter 35: The Edge of Control

The days bled into each other, a blur of classes, assignments, and endless thoughts of River. August could barely sleep, her nights filled with restless dreams that left her longing for something just out of reach. River’s face, her voice, her touch—they haunted her, following her like a shadow she couldn’t escape.

Her grades continued to suffer, her friends noticed her distraction, and the professors grew increasingly concerned. But none of it mattered to August. All that mattered was River. Every time she saw her, every time they crossed paths on campus or exchanged a brief, strained conversation, the obsession tightened its grip on her heart.

River wasn’t faring much better. The strain of trying to maintain her professional composure was taking its toll. She spent hours grading papers, trying to keep her mind off the woman who had once been her student and was now the center of her every thought. But it was impossible. August was everywhere—every lecture, every meeting, every fleeting glance across a crowded room. River could feel herself unraveling, her carefully constructed walls crumbling with each passing day.

One evening, as River sat in her office, she found herself staring at August’s latest assignment. The answers were half-hearted, as if August hadn’t even tried. River’s heart ached with a mixture of frustration and guilt. She knew what was causing this, knew that she was the reason August was struggling. But what could she do? How could she help without crossing the line she had drawn between them?

The knock on her door startled River out of her thoughts. She looked up to see August standing there, her expression tense, her eyes filled with a desperation that River hadn’t seen before.

“August,” River said softly, her voice betraying the turmoil she felt. “Come in.”

August entered the office, closing the door behind her. She hesitated for a moment before taking a seat across from River. The air between them was thick with tension, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the room.

“I needed to talk to you,” August began, her voice trembling slightly. “I know I’ve been… slipping. But it’s not because I don’t care. It’s because I care too much.”

River’s breath caught in her throat. She could see the pain in August’s eyes, the same pain she felt in her own heart. “What do you mean?”

August looked down at her hands, unable to meet River’s gaze. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t focus, I can’t sleep. Every time I try to concentrate, all I can think about is you. And I know it’s wrong, I know we agreed to end things, but… I can’t help it.”

River’s heart pounded in her chest. She had known this conversation was coming, but she wasn’t prepared for the intensity of August’s confession. The emotions she had been trying to suppress surged to the surface, threatening to overwhelm her.

“August,” River began, her voice strained. “You’re not the only one struggling. This… this isn’t easy for me either. But we have to find a way to move forward. We can’t let this destroy us.”

August looked up, her eyes filled with tears. “But how? How do I move on when all I want is to be with you? How do I forget about you when you’re all I can think about?”

River’s resolve wavered. She wanted to reach out, to take August’s hand, to tell her that she felt the same way. But she knew that if she did, there would be no turning back. The line they had drawn would be crossed, and there would be no way to undo the damage.

“We have to try,” River said, though her voice lacked conviction. “We have to focus on our own lives, our own paths. We have to—”

But August wasn’t listening. She stood up suddenly, the chair scraping against the floor as she moved toward River’s desk. “I don’t care about the rules, River. I don’t care about what’s right or wrong. All I care about is you. And I know you feel the same way.”

River opened her mouth to protest, to deny the truth in August’s words, but the words wouldn’t come. Because she did feel the same way. Every fiber of her being was drawn to August, every rational thought drowned out by the overwhelming desire that consumed her.

Before she could stop herself, River reached out and took August’s hand. The touch sent a jolt through both of them, the connection undeniable. River could see the longing in August’s eyes, could feel the heat radiating from her body. It would be so easy to give in, to let go of all the reasons they shouldn’t be together and just surrender to the feelings that had been tearing them apart.

But as much as River wanted that, she knew it would come at a cost. A cost she wasn’t sure either of them was prepared to pay.

“August,” River whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “We can’t.”

August’s grip on her hand tightened. “Why not? Why can’t we be together? What’s stopping us?”

River felt the tears welling up in her own eyes. “Everything. The university, our roles, the consequences. If we give in to this, it could ruin us both.”

“But isn’t it already ruining us?” August’s voice cracked, the desperation clear. “We’re both falling apart, River. Isn’t that worse than taking the risk?”

River closed her eyes, struggling to hold back the flood of emotions. She knew August was right. They were both on the edge, barely holding on. But taking the leap, giving in to what they both wanted, would mean crossing a line that could never be uncrossed.

When River finally opened her eyes, she saw the raw vulnerability in August’s gaze. It broke something inside her, shattered the last remnants of her resistance.

“We’ll figure it out,” River said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “But we have to be careful. We can’t let this consume us, August. Not like this.”

August nodded, though the look in her eyes said she was far from convinced. But for now, it was enough. The tension between them was still thick, still simmering just below the surface, but they both knew they were standing on the precipice of something that could change everything.

As August left the office, River felt the familiar ache settle in her chest. The obsession, the desire, the longing—they hadn’t gone away. If anything, they had only grown stronger. And as she watched August walk away, River knew that the edge they were standing on was getting narrower by the day.