Hidden Flame

Chapter 32: The Weight of Forgotten Dreams

August's new university life was a whirlwind of new experiences, and though she hadn't expected it, she quickly fell into a new social circle. Her friends were lively, adventurous, and deeply immersed in the college party scene. They were everything August had been before—before the weight of her past had settled heavily upon her.

It started with casual hangouts, where laughter and music filled the air, and soon evolved into frequent parties that seemed to blend into one another. Her friends had a way of pulling her into their world, and while August was hesitant at first, she found herself giving in to their enthusiasm. She wasn’t a huge fan of the chaos or the loud music, but she liked being around them and the sense of camaraderie they provided.

One Friday evening, as the semester began to wind down and the end of the year approached, August found herself at one of the biggest parties of the season. Her friends had been relentless in their invitations, and despite her reservations, she agreed to join them. The house was packed, the music throbbing through the walls, and the air was thick with the mingling scents of alcohol and perfume.

August tried to immerse herself in the revelry, but her heart wasn’t in it. The constant noise, the crowds, the frenetic energy—it all felt overwhelming. She sipped her drink slowly, trying to fit in, but her mind kept drifting to thoughts of River. The lingering feelings she had tried so hard to suppress had resurfaced with a vengeance, and the sight of her friends so carefree only reminded her of what she had lost.

As the night wore on, and the drinks flowed freely, August found herself more and more detached from the festivities. She was sitting on a couch in a quieter corner of the house when the alcohol began to take its toll. Her emotions, which had been simmering beneath the surface, bubbled over. The laughter and cheer around her faded into a distant hum as her thoughts became consumed by the aching void left by River’s absence.

The alcohol made everything seem both clearer and more confusing. The memories of River, the intensity of their connection, and the unresolved tension of their last moments together all came rushing back. Overwhelmed, August stumbled to her phone and, in a drunken haze, dialed River’s number. Her fingers trembled as she held the phone to her ear, her heart pounding.

“Hello?” River’s voice answered, sleepily, but with a trace of concern.

“River…” August slurred, her voice catching. “It’s me. I need to tell you something.”

There was a pause on the other end, followed by River’s voice, tinged with concern and curiosity. “August? Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay,” August confessed, her words tumbling out in a rush. “I... I still love you. I never stopped. I’ve tried to move on, but I can’t. I can’t get you out of my head.”

There was a brief silence before River responded, her tone shifting to one of reluctant amusement. “August, you’re like a pest I can’t get rid of. Why do you have to call me in the middle of the night?”

August’s heart sank at the word “pest.” It stung, and in her inebriated state, it felt like a cruel jab. Anger and hurt bubbled up inside her, and she almost hung up. But before she could, River’s voice softened, adding, “But you know, you’re like my little pest, and I wouldn’t trade you for anything.”

The unexpected endearment caused a confusing mix of emotions. Anger mingled with a pang of longing, and the sentimentality of River’s words cut through her in a way that made her tears flow freely. “Why are you saying that now? Why did you let me go if you feel that way?” August’s voice broke as she spoke.

River’s voice was calm and soothing, despite the late hour. “August, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I wanted to be with you, but I also needed to find out what was best for both of us. I’ve made mistakes, but my feelings for you have always been real. I never stopped caring.”

The honesty in River’s voice was a bittersweet balm to August’s fractured heart. “But it’s too late now,” August replied, her voice thick with emotion. “Everything’s changed.”

“I know,” River said softly. “But I want you to know that you’re still important to me. Even if we can’t be together, I care about you more than you know.”

The conversation left August feeling both raw and relieved. The night had taken a turn she hadn’t expected, and the mix of alcohol and emotions left her feeling disoriented. River’s words had reopened old wounds, but they also offered a glimmer of understanding and connection she had desperately needed.

As the call ended, August sat there, alone and silent. The party continued around her, but she felt disconnected from it all. Her friends found her in the corner, concerned by her withdrawn state. They helped her back to her apartment, but her mind was still tangled in the emotional aftermath of her call to River.

The next morning, as August woke up with a pounding headache and a heavy heart, she knew that the path ahead would be complicated. Her feelings for River were still there, but now they were tangled with the realities of their lives and the choices they had made. She had to come to terms with the fact that while her heart still yearned for River, moving forward would mean navigating the complex and often painful reality of their separation.