Beynika Oneshots

Russian Roulette (2)

📍 New Jersey

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Beyonce Knowles

It had been ten years since that day, but the memories still lingered, woven into the fabric of my life. Now, as I packed up our home in New Jersey, preparing to move with my 13-year-old twins, Genesis and Jaden, I felt the weight of everything we were leaving behind.

The house was full of boxes, each one holding pieces of our past, but some memories were harder to pack away.

As I rummaged through an old, dusty box in the back of my closet, my hand brushed against something that made me pause. I pulled out a photograph, and my breath caught in my throat.

It was a picture of Nicki and me as teenagers, both of us smiling, full of life and dreams. Her eyes sparkled with that familiar mischief, and her smile was as bright as I remembered.

I stared at it, lost in the memories that rushed back-sweet and painful all at once.

I was so deep in thought that I didn't notice Genesis come into the room until she spoke. "Mom, what are you looking at?"

I glanced up, startled out of my reverie. Genesis stood there, curiosity written all over her face as she looked from me to the photograph in my hand.

I hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words, before I turned the picture so she could see it.

"Me and your mom when we were sixteen"

Genesis moved closer, as she looked at the picture. She reached out, her fingers gently tracing the edges of the photograph, as if trying to remember her mother, "What was she like?"

The twins were only three at the time, so they didn't have much memory of her.

I took a deep breath, the memories flooding back as I tried to describe the woman who had meant everything to me.

"She was... everything. She was strong and fearless, always the life of the party. She had this amazing energy-she could light up a room just by walking into it. And she loved you and Jaden more than anything in the world."

Genesis looked up at me, her eyes searching mine. "Do you miss her?"

The question hit me hard, and I nodded, my voice trembling slightly. "Every single day."

For a moment, we both just stared at the photograph, each lost in our thoughts. Then, Genesis gently took the picture from my hand, holding it carefully. "Can I keep this?" she asked quietly, her voice filled with emotion.

"Of course," I said, my voice cracking as a tear slipped down my cheek.

Genesis smiled, a tender expression in her eyes that made my heart swell with pride and love. She carefully placed the picture in her purse, making sure it was safe, before turning back to me.

"Tell me more about her," she said, sitting down beside me on the floor, her curiosity and need for connection clear.

I nodded, wiping away another tear.

As we sat there, surrounded by boxes and memories, I realized that even though we were leaving New Jersey behind, we were carrying something far more important with us: the love and legacy of a woman who would always be a part of our lives.

And that was something I would never let my children forget.

Just as I wrapped up a story about one of our teenage adventures, Jaden walked in. He'd been helping with the moving truck, but now he was standing in the doorway, looking like he had something on his mind.

"Mom," he said, his voice a little hesitant. "How did she die?"

The question hit me like a ton of bricks. I looked at him, feeling a lump rise in my throat. I could see he was searching for answers, trying to understand something I'd kept locked away.

But this wasn't a story I was ready to tell, not now, maybe not ever.

I opened my mouth to say something, but the words just wouldn't come. I felt the tears threatening, and I knew I couldn't let them see me break down.

"That's... that's a tough one, Jaden," I finally managed to say, my voice shaky. "We can talk about it later, okay?"

Jaden nodded, sensing I wasn't ready to go there. "Okay, Mom."

I forced a small smile, trying to shake off the heaviness in the room. "Let's just focus on getting these boxes on the truck for now," I said, quickly changing the subject.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Two days later, the house was completely empty. All the boxes were gone, and the rooms felt strangely hollow. I stood in the middle of the living room, just taking it all in one last time.

This place had seen everything-our highs, our lows, all the moments that made us who we were. And now, it was time to say goodbye.

"Nicki," I whispered, my voice barely more than a breath. "I miss you."

Those words carried so much weight. It wasn't just about missing her being here, but everything we had planned, everything that was supposed to be.

But as I stood there, I realized it was time to let go-not of her, but of the grief that had held me back for so long.

"I'm letting go," I said softly, more to myself than to her. "But you'll always be in my heart."

Just then, a cool breeze swept through the room, brushing against my skin like a gentle touch.

It caught me off guard, but it made me smile. It felt like Nicki was there, giving me a little nudge, telling me it was okay to move on.

I took one last look around the room, feeling a mix of sadness and peace. The pain was still there, but it wasn't as heavy as before. I had said my goodbyes, and now it was time to move forward.

With a deep breath, I turned and walked toward the door. Stepping outside, the sun hit my face, and I felt a little lighter, like a weight had been lifted.

I closed the door behind me, leaving the house-and that chapter of my life-behind. But I knew that no matter where I went, Nicki would always be with me, a part of my heart that I'd never let go.

I got into the car and my kids looked up at me, "You guys ready to go?" I asked and they nodded.

I looked at the house once more, before pulling off. It was time to start our new lives after ten years.

Goodbye, Jersey and my dear love.

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