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CHAPTER 48

"I have schizophrenia trait." She spoke blankly under the dire light of her room. The uneasiness of her soul was too exposed not to notice.

"I have schizophrenia trait," she repeated. 

The other person in the room moved her head on to the latter's chest. She placed her head under the elder's chin, making herself comfortable. She sensed a pair of hands instinctively held her waist closer. Even in her restlessness, she never failed to show her preservative side. 

"If it turns out incurable, will you still love me?" 

Schizophrenia was incurable. Drugs controlled the symptoms, but there was no way for the damaged psyche to heal perfectly. The fact that her blood father was diagnosed with Schizophrenia meant she inherited at least 10% chance of getting the same disorder. 

"You are healthy." 

"For how long?" She slipped her hand under the latter's shirt as she stroked the soft skin beneath her fingertips. 

"Why are we talking like you're going change tomorrow?" Ross let a low sigh escaped her lips as she shivered by Sam's touch.

"We never know what future brings." Sam inhaled the smell of her girlfriend's shampoo. 

"Don't say that." Ross captured Sam's lips in slow motion, tracing every inch of it. Her mind was empty. Her brain spontaneously went off every time their skin contacted each other. 

The lack of answer sent Sam to unsureness of where they were standing now. When they made love that night, she didn't feel the same peacefulness she used to experienced. 

As if it was over. 

*****

The couches merely about a meter apart from the others, but the cold long distance between two broken people was clearly visible. Their raging breathing from shouting so much left the misery aura in the room.

One of them wiped the tears that coming out from the corner of her eyes. The other stared angrily at the crushed white device that lying lifelessly on the floor. Its screen shattered into pieces. She knew something was off. She knew the person she used to love wasn't the same person she first met. People did change all the time, she just couldn't believe that it had to be the worst form of changing. 

"Bow," her voice cracked, she was shaking on her seat. 

"I'll indemnify your phone." Bow stood up and shouldered her bag. 

"I'm sorry." Engfah didn't bother to brush away her tears, she let it streamed down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry," she begged. 

"I'm sorry too," Bow's reply came out flat.

"I hope you will be happy with him. I'm sorry I can't be your person, I'm sorry I suck on everything. I'm sorry I failed you." 

"I love you." Engfah sobbed, her chest constricted painfully. "Please?"

It's just nightmare, let it be nightmare.

"I don't."

She fell on her knees at the same time world collapsed around her.

*****

"It's a date tonight." 

"It's a date," Earn confirmed. 

"Cool," Lada grinned. "I'll be out by five then pick you up then-"

"Wait, why don't we just leave together from here? It'll help you from so much hassle." She greased a spoonful of Nutella on Lada's wheat bread.