Strangers - unknown relatives to being each other's human diaries to standing at a crossroads of love, family reputation, societal weight, and an upcoming marriage with the biggest question of their lives which would affect everything
Arun doesn't t...
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While Indu was with me at my relative's house. I couldn't stop a thought in my mind "Why can't she be with me for life?". I tried to shake that thought in my mind but instead, all I could think of was how much I had liked her for years and had been telling myself that she was too young for me and it wouldn't be right.
It was time to drop Indu back at the hostel. As we started on my bike, I felt a constant pain in my chest the whole ride to her hostel. We reached her campus, and we stood there for some time I couldn't think, "What should I tell her?" There were too many thoughts in my mind and that piercing pain in my chest. She also stood and said bye as she had to enter the campus. Dropping Indu off at her hostel was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I couldn't bring myself to say bye, as if uttering those three letters would mean losing something precious. She was not ready to leave till I said bye and asked me multiple times to say bye walking back and forth. I finally mustered "BYE" and saw her walking into her campus.
I had to go back to my work, started my bike, and was on my way to the work location and the next thing I knew was I couldn't stop my tears. I cried the whole ride and reached my office. I felt empty inside I couldn't concentrate on my work. I left the office in the afternoon and went back to my room as nothing felt right. I didn't even know what should I do.
The next day, Indu messaged me
"I forgot to tell you this.
Thank you for everything. ❤😊😊
I should have told you this yesterday but my mood was off. I had never enjoyed as much as I did in the last two days. It was so fun that I got used to those two days and yesterday I didn't feel good being back. I don't know if I would enjoy that much again
Thank youuuuuu 😁😁😁❤️❤️"
This message made me so happy and sad at the same time as even I didn't know if we would get time to spend together like that again. As the days passed, I grappled with my feelings, questioning whether it was right to love someone seven years younger. Yet, my heart kept whispering, "I need her." I have known her for 6 years and I always loved being with her and talking to her. I couldn't explain the feeling even to myself why but it was clear to me that I needed her. I decided to take a leap of faith and propose to her.
But, oh, the awkwardness of that proposal! I was nervous, and after a few days, when our conversations were about love and movies Indu noticed that something was wrong and I was hiding something. She asked what happened. I told her I would tell her later but she was more curious now and being unable to lie or hide my feelings from Indu I asked her "Will you marry me?" and she laughed, thinking I was joking. I also started laughing being nervous and then reassured her I was serious, but the call ended awkwardly. I was furious with myself, it was nothing like what I had in my mind and what I wanted to tell her. It was the worst proposal I could think of.
The next morning I messaged her "Good morning, Sorry for making things awkward last night"
I was in fear it was nothing like I had imagined I didn't know what she would tell and how everything was going to turn out I was waiting for her response. I didn't want to lose her, and my heart raced with anticipation. It was so painful and the fear of losing her was so high that in my mind only thing I could think of was whether she even speak with me again. Indu speaking to me and being a part of my life was more important than anything, I needed her. I had a song on repeat on my phone for a few days after I asked her to marry me "Avunanavaa-|Ori Devuda|Sid Sriram|". Sometimes in the middle of the day just out of nowhere the water would come out of my eyes as if I had no control of my tears. She had not denied me yet but still, the days without talking to her normally or telling her what was going on in my life and mind felt like something very essential in my life was taken from me.
"Laughter and tears, a secret kept, For years, my heart, in silence, wept. A love so strong, yet hidden deep, Afraid to reveal, my soul would creep.
I thought myself unworthy, not the one, So I concealed my feelings, like the morning sun. But time went by, and I couldn't deny, The ache within, the longing to try.
One day, I woke, with a heart so sore, Realizing I needed her, forevermore. The thought of life without her by my side, Was a path I couldn't take, a journey to hide.
Nothing made sense, without her light, My world was dark, devoid of delight. I needed her smile, her laugh, her grace, To fill the void, to find my place.
So I took a breath, and let my heart speak, And hoped that she would hear, and her love would seek. For years, I hid, but now I see, That she's the missing piece, that sets me free."
