Love In The Shadows

17 ~ Life Decision

I was in a turmoil of emotions! After discovering Indu's feelings, I was torn between my arranged marriage and my true love. I sat momentarily and started hating myself for what I had done and how I could not have known that Indu loved me. Despite my friends' warnings, not to take risks and accept reality. One thing was sure after realizing that the girl I dreamed about marrying loves me back that at any cost I had to meet her and talk to her and that I needed her. I knew I had to take a chance and meet Indu. I booked a bus to her hometown, my mind racing with doubts and fears. What if she rejects me? What if her parents find out? But also, what if this is my chance at true love? I couldn't sleep that night, my heart filled with anxiety and hope. When Indu insisted I come to her house, I was nervous but determined. I had to see her, talk to her, and know if we had a future together. As I approached her house, my heart pounded in my chest. This was it, the moment of truth. 

The anxiety and regret! I finally gathered the courage to enter Indu's house, my heart racing with emotions. I tried to compose myself and finally entered her house to meet her. From the time I entered the house and saw Indu, I was trying very hard to hold back my tears and my feelings. I was waiting for some alone time to talk to her as her parents were at home. I informed her parents that I visited them as one of my college friends was getting married in the nearby town. Luckily that was true. After some time in the afternoon, Indu and I decided to go out so that we could talk. We visited one of the nearby malls and Indu was not even looking into my eyes. It was clear that Indu was struggling to hold back her tears. The conversation was bittersweet. Indu confirmed that she had feelings for me, but also expressed her disappointment that I had accepted the arranged marriage without even trying to pursue her again. She understood the pressure I might have faced from my family for the marriage, but it was clear that she was hurt. I felt like I had made a huge mistake, and the weight of my regret was crushing me. Indu tried to reassure me that she would move on as there was nothing I could do now, but I knew I couldn't let that happen. The thought of losing her forever was unbearable. I knew I had to take a stand and fight for our love, no matter the consequences.

The desperation and longing! After our awkward conversation, I had to leave for the marriage, but my heart was with Indu. I asked her to run away with me, and her eyes widened up and she was shocked. She didn't respond to that question. Meanwhile, my bus arrived and I had to leave.  It was past 9 pm and I was near the marriage location. At that time I received her message to come home early, I knew I had to escape the marriage and be with her. I made my way back to her house, determined to be with her. It was late and no busses running at that time. Luckily I decided to take a chance from the railway station and got the last train to her place. When I finally saw her, I was overjoyed, it was past 1 am and she was waiting for me. We just started talking normally after the awkward phase. I was telling her how my friends reacted to our story and my situation and told me that they would help me run away with her. But, her father's interruption reminded me that our love was still a secret, and we had to be careful. He kind of shouted at Indu as it was late and asked her to go into her room and sleep. I was frustrated, but I knew I had to be patient and find a way to be with Indu. The message from Indu to come home early was everything to me that night. It gave me hope that we could make it happen and change everything. I was determined to find a way to be with her, no matter what.

The joy of finally finding love! The next day morning after apologizing to my friend for missing his marriage, I knew I had to confess my feelings to Indu. It was Sunday and after lunch, Indu's parents went out. We were alone, we sat close to each other and started opening up about our feelings. Indu was noting down her feelings on her phone like a diary and it was the way for her to at least write down what she was going through the whole time since she got to know that I accepted the arranged marriage. After requesting a lot, I finally got to read it that day, and reading it was an eye-opener for me as I understood how broken she was due to my stupid decision. She went through a lot due to me and she was so broken knowing that she was going to lose me and even cried near her mom. She didn't tell her my name but she explained to her mom that she lost her love. She closed her feelings and emotions and was in a broken state by the time I realized and got to know about her feelings. Reading the diary I realised one thing she loved me so much. I took a chance in our alone time and asked her "Would you wait for me and marry me if I cancel this marriage?". She was thinking a lot about the other girl's future as breaking the marriage would affect her life and that was the reason she didn't confess her feelings to me after I accepted the arranged marriage. After explaining to Indu that the other girl would be more hurt if she knew I married her without actually liking her, also that would affect her life more. After listening to me and our discussion about the bride's future Indu finally agreed to wait but she wanted me to be frank with her and tell her everything. Indu wanted to talk to her personally and explain what happened however I assured Indu that I would take care of the things. We talked for hours that day and it was the best day of my life knowing how much the person I loved, loved me back. I wanted to give Indu all the love she deserves. It was time for me to leave back to Hyderabad and Indu came to drop me off. In the seven years of knowing Indu, this was the day I found my love and it was the first time I hugged her and kissed her on the forehead. At that moment I felt a sense of being complete, it was like I had finally found the one I needed for my life.

I decided whatever happened she was the one and I would somehow cancel my marriage and convince her family for our marriage. The only thing that had to be done was for me to think about how I would break my marriage and how to convince my family. 

"My world was turned upside down,
The day I realized my heart's renowned,
A decision made, with blindfolded eyes,
Led me astray, to heartbreaking surprise.

I left behind, the love so true,
And she, with heart, both broken and blue,
Little did I know, she felt the same,
And suffered silently, with endless pain.

The weight of regret, crushed my soul,
As truth revealed, her love's tender role,
In hidden tears, she cried for me,
While I, in darkness, wandered, lost at sea.

But fate, in mercy, brought us near,
And our true feelings, we finally clear,
The masks we wore, were shed away,
As our hearts spoke, in a tender sway.

I saw the pain, I had caused her past,
And wept for sorrow, that would forever last,
But in her eyes, forgiveness shone bright,
And our love's flame, ignited, in the night.

Together we vowed, to fight and stand,
Against the world, hand in hand,
For our love's worth, we'd face the test,
And in each other, find our best."

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Question from the author:

1. How do you feel about the story, any suggestions on how should Arun tackle the problem and the decision that he made?