Summer Desires

Chapter Seventeen

I get up and go for my morning run. The conversation from last night keeps replaying in my head. Was that in a way, Alex asking me to stay? Is that what I was waiting for to make my decision? My mind is traveling at a million miles an hour and I do not know how to process what is going on. I know I have been debating on not leaving but now I really don't know what to do. Everything's falling into place. Carson isn't the worst person on earth anymore, Bec and Jason are good, I have Laya, and even Jack and I are on speaking terms... well kinda. And then there is Macho.

Macho is the guy I used to pray for. Someone I could bring home to my family and see myself getting married to and having our own family one day. Why does it have to be now? When do I have one of the biggest life decisions to make? Why can't my life just play out normally? I feel like every time I get something squared away, another thing comes flooding to the surface and I do not know what to do. I go in and jump into the shower, I promised my mom that we would join them in church today. Not that I really want to see the community's faces after what had happened last night.

"Babe, we have to leave in the next five minutes." I hollered from the kitchen.

"Okay, Birdy. I will be out in one second." He replied.

I pour us each a cup of coffee and grab us a granola bar. When Macho came walking out, I almost went weak in the knees. He was in khaki pants, a light blue button up, and black dress shoes. He had his cross chain and his dress watch on. Yep, that is my man. I can tell he planned his outfit around mine. I was wearing a light blue Milkmaid dress with white flowers on it. My hair was in a ponytail and the end of the pony was curled and had gold jewelry on. Gosh, we look absolutely perfect. We grab our things and head into town. Why do I feel nervous? Probably to face all the hate, which is ironic as we are going to church where we are supposed to be forgiving.

I walk over to my parents while holding Macho's hand so tight. We all walk into church together and find a pew with little to no people in. I sit in between Macho and my mom. Gripping both of their hands to the point my knuckles are turning white.

"Birdy, breathe. Everything will be okay." Macho whispered.

"I know." I replied.

During the service, the pastor talks about forgiveness and accepting one another for who they are no matter the race or their sexuality. Did we make an impression on our pastor? Everyone shoots glares towards us when he speaks on the situation, but I pay no mind to them. I feel at ease knowing our pastor stands with us. Once the service is over my mom invites us to lunch along with Bec, Jason, Laya, and her parents. My dad decided to grill some burgers and just hangout. I suggested we invite Carson, for being so helpful with everything yesterday and they all agreed. That is one thing about my parents, they are always willing to forgive.

We all gather in the backyard and sit in the chairs. Alex, Jason, Carson, and Jack play a game of cornhole, while my dad grills. We girls sit around in a circle and just chat about this and that while laughing at the guys sucking at the game.

"If you think you are any better, then I challenge you to one on one, Birdy." Macho grinned.

"Deal." I said smiling.

"Oh be careful bro, she is a pro." Jason laughed.

"Agreed." Carson added.

Macho and I went head to head and I swept him under the table. I handed him a napkin for his tears as a joke and he laughed it off. We all gathered in a circle and said grace before eating. I asked Bec to go inside with me, because I needed to talk to her.

"Girl, isn't it weird? Seeing your current boo hanging with your old boo?" Bec asked.

"No and that's not why I asked you to come in here. I am having a crisis." I replied.