A Cost Of Suicide

THE END?

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In the morning, we left early because Aezhar wanted to show me all his favorite places. I forgot to tell you that last night, Aezhar went somewhere. I don’t know where, but he said he wanted to do some work, which is why he’s tired. As for the topic of my death, we don’t talk about it. We’re just living out my remaining time. I understand the feeling of being left behind when someone passes away, but you know how selfish I was in my past life and in this one too. I can see the pain in his eyes, but I hope that in the future, he will find someone better than me.

"I know my body is slowly dying, but in the present, I am truly living."

Sometimes it hurts. This isn’t a novel; it’s reality. I want to live not just for me, but for all the people who love me.

Aezhar: "Alara, look at the stars."

Alara: "They are beautiful..."

Aezhar: "I know, right?"

Alara: "Aezhar, you know I love you and I always will, even if I die."

Aezhar: "We’re not talking about this. You’re not going to die, okay?"

Alara: "Aezhar, look at me and listen. Remember me. Soon, I will become part of nature. When you need comfort in the future, come to this place or somewhere you can feel nature the most. And one more thing: I want to be buried here, in the center of the Rife and Carcil empires." (Unknowingly, tears began to fall from my eyes.)

Aezhar stood there, listening to every word, crying in front of me. Maybe that’s why I cried too. I know the pain I am leaving behind. I’m sorry, Aezhar. You were too good to me.

Sometimes I think that maybe I really deserve this. I kept saying that I love him, and I also love Mom, Ryan, and Dad. I don’t know what I was saying at that moment; the only thing I remember is asking him to be happy in the future and to let me be just a single chapter in his life. I told him to try to move on. Then suddenly, Aezhar hugged me as he cried. We both cried while hugging each other. I don’t know how long it lasted because we knew there wasn’t much time left. We went home and spent two days with my family. Suddenly, my family wanted to go to the beach. I got dressed, and they did a great job preparing me. We left for the beach.

When I arrived, I saw Aezhar standing in front of the sea, wearing a white shirt and pants, just like in a movie, with beautiful flower decorations around him. It was my dream. Suddenly, he got down on his knees, proposed to me with tears in his eyes in front of my family, and I said yes. I hugged him because I knew I would soon have no strength, and then I suddenly fainted.

After eight hours, I woke up in the hospital where my family and Aezhar were. I knew this was the end—the end of me, Alara, and also Iraa. It was time for me to pay for my sins. I talked to my family, told them I loved them, and asked Aezhar to hug me while I lay in the hospital bed. While we were hugging, I said to him, "It's time to say goodbye now, okay?" (His grip tightened, and he started crying.) I said, "Let me go, huh? Remember everything I said and find happiness. It was getting hard to breathe because death was in front of me, and it’s quite painful," and lastly, I said, "I love you..."

Aezhar: "No! No, this isn’t true. You can’t be leaving me like this. I’ve tried everything. I searched for every possible solution, every bit of information on curses, but nothing could save you. Alara, please, don’t leave me. I can’t bear the thought of losing you. We were supposed to have more time."

In my dying moments, I thought we weren’t able to have a happy ending, maybe because we aren’t the main characters. In the end, I wasn’t able to change destiny. And I paid the cost of my suicide...

The End

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