Catch Fire | Daryl Dixon

FOUR

Daryl's POV

I sat outside my cabin, my knife working methodically as I cleaned the squirrels I'd caught earlier in the morning. Dog sat nearby, his ears twitching every so often as he watched me, probably waiting for his share of the meal. The quiet out here had become second nature, almost comforting in its isolation. Just me, Dog, and the woods.

It had been two and a half years since that morning, since I walked out of the room and left Kennedy behind without looking back. That day haunted me more than I liked to admit. Every morning, I wondered if I'd made the right choice, if staying out here was the only way I could keep moving. But I also wondered about the life I left behind.

At first, Kennedy sent scouts from Hilltop to check on me, to bring me updates. For the first year, I'd see familiar faces out here in the woods, people who'd ask if I needed anything and if I was planning on coming back. I always told them no. I didn't need anything. I wasn't ready to go back. Kennedy never came herself. I never blamed her for that. I wouldn't have visited me either, not after what I did.

Eventually, the scouts stopped coming. Hilltop stopped checking in, and I stopped hearing anything about Kennedy or Willow. Maybe she got tired of waiting, tired of hoping I'd pull my head outta my ass and come home.

I paused in my work, staring at the cleaned squirrel in my hand, and my thoughts drifted to Willow. She'd be almost four now. Almost four. That thought hurt more than I liked to admit. The little girl I barely knew, the daughter I'd abandoned while she was still figuring out how to say more than "mama."

I wondered what she was like now. Could she talk in full sentences? Was she running around Hilltop, making friends? Did she even remember me? Or was I just some ghost from a story her mom might've told her, a man who disappeared before she even really knew who he was?

I looked out toward the woods, the stillness of the trees reminding me of the isolation I'd chosen. There was a time when I thought it would help, being out here, alone, away from everything. I thought it'd clear my head and help me figure out who I was without the weight of everything that had happened. Rick's death, the fallout with Kennedy, all of it. But now... now, I wasn't so sure.

I hadn't been back to Hilltop. Not once. Part of me didn't know if I could face what I'd left behind. The idea of seeing Kennedy after all this time, knowing I'd walked out on her and Willow, weighed heavy on me. And it wasn't just that I'd left them; it was everything that came after.

I glanced over at Dog, who was lying on his side now, dozing in the sunlight. Leah's dog. Well, mine now. Leah had been part of the reason I stayed out here longer than I should've. We'd met many months ago, in the middle of this endless search for Rick, both of us out here trying to outrun whatever it was we couldn't face. She was strong and tough, and for a while, it was enough to just be with her, to have someone who didn't expect me to talk or explain myself.

We had a thing. It wasn't love, not the way it was with Kennedy, but it was something. It was enough to make me forget the pain for a little while. But then, just like I'd done to Kennedy, Leah up and left. One night, she was just gone. Left me and Dog behind without a word.

I couldn't help but think that maybe it was what I deserved. Karma, or whatever. I left Kennedy, so Leah left me. It was just the way things went now.

I shook my head, trying to push the thoughts away as I finished cleaning the last squirrel. But even as I worked, I couldn't stop wondering. Was Kennedy still running Hilltop? Was she still waiting for me, or had she moved on? I wouldn't blame her if she had. Hell, maybe she'd found someone who wouldn't walk out on her.

But that thought twisted in my gut, a sharp pang of jealousy and guilt I wasn't ready to face.

I set the squirrels aside, standing up and stretching my arms over my head. Dog perked up, wagging his tail as he watched me. "C'mon," I muttered, heading toward the small fire pit I'd built outside the cabin. Dog followed, his tail wagging as he padded along behind me.