P. A. Featherington

(18) Shred of Hope

Wallflower - a novel by P. A. Featherington

I am a wallflower. Spending my life hidden in the shadows or hiding at the edge of ballroom. Even if I am stood directly in front of someone, they don't see me. Which made the idea of being the most sought out gossip columnist in all of London so damn tempting

Why gossip I hear you say. The simplest of answers being "Why not" but in truth, it gave me purpose. In doing so I gave voice to the lies that riddled my town. The worse the lie, the more impact it would make to people round it. Like the lie would become bigger. Becoming a large entity. Like the elephant in the room.

In being invisible I heard of plot to seduce the man I love. Even after begging the young lady to stop with the cruelty. She continued her ruse. Snapping his heart in two. I even tried to tell him the truth, but I realised whatever excuse I tried to give to sway his affection. It would not work. He was so blind to her false love and false hope.

So my writing put a stop to such things after learning that they would run off to get wed. I had to move fast.

You see being a writer, society would undoubtedly use me as a pawn. To rush a man's lie to print to save others.

I witnessed my closest friend in the wrong part of town. Her safety was my top priority. I tried my hardest to sway her. It only took the Queen threatening her before I truly dealt my hand. I loved her as a sister. The whole world could burn for all I care. As long as El was safe.

My family life is, for lack of a better word, uncaring. My mama and sisters care more for their standing than common decency and grace. If they only knew what I knew they would not be so easy to judge me.

I left my home all because the man I loved broke me and my only friend broke me. When you are already broken, all you ever needed was someone to mend you. Sadly, no one exists. In this world we must fix our own tiaras and stand against the cruelty, alone.

As I start this new chapter in my life, I have to wonder. Does anyone back home even care. Or will I finally be able to keep the past exactly where it belongs, in the past.

Colin was angry. He was upset. He felt such a fool. He wasn't sure what he would even say to Pen. All this time she had lied to him about everything. Being Lady Whistledown, their friendship and her feelings. Her feelings. Pen love him. Loved him? Was he truly so blind not to see it. Why could she not just be honest. Did he not even deserve that much.

The Modeste

"Miss Eloise, how may I assist you today?"

"I am just interested in why you sent me Penelope's novels?"

"I thought perhaps, they would bring you some much needed closure"

"Did you know where she was this entire time?"

"Yes"

Eloise had been to the Modeste numerous times this season and she had not said a word.

"Why did you not say anything?"

"Miss Penelope asked me not to reveal her destination to her family"

".. I am not her family" El barked.

"Do not raise your voice to me, young lady. I had asked her what she would like me to tell you" her stern tone making Eloise take a step back. "She replied that you did not care where she was. She felt she was unimportant to you. She may of hinted weeks before her departure that you hated her"

Eloise dramatically placed her hands on her hips. Looking rather frustratingly animated "If you believed that, then why send the books?"

Gen took a small breath and spoke softly "I overheard you mother talking to Viscountess Bridgerton that you showed concern over Penelope's welfare"

El look discomposed "I did not realise she noticed"

Gen tried to explain the young lady's reasoning behind her quick departure "Penelope felt alone. Nothing was holding her back here. She had no friends, no one took an interest in her. Her own family show her disgust at any given moment. I have never know a lady so distraught. Before Miss Penelope wrote of you in her column. She came to me for advise, that was her only option that would have kept you safe" Gen couldn't help raising her voice a little. So disappointed in the young lady standing in front of her.

"You have.." Gen's teeth clenched "no idea how difficult it was for Lady Whistledown to come here so late and beg me for guidance. In my opinion Miss Eloise, you do not deserve to have her as a friend. She is a kind lady, who only ever thinks of others"

Eloise looked stunned. All those hurtful things she said. Must have stabbed sweet Pen. Straight through the heart. "Well I must find her and apologise"

"I will not help you. It is too little, too late Miss Bridgerton"

"What of my brother?"

"What of your brother, has he not done enough! Haven't both of you. You believe she needs you. The two that hurt her more than her family ever could?" Gen could not help the distaste in her voice.

"Madame Delacroix, I do not care what you think. We need her. I need her"

"Very well" Gen huffed at Els determination "But if you hurt her again, I will not make life easy for you. Are we at an understanding?"

El nodded.

Gen passed El her last letter with the address on it "Very well. Do not make me regret this" She added with a stern expression, that El had now become accustomed to "I want the letter back after you have written the address down" Eloise let out a sigh of relief.

"You have my word and" she looked back before she left "thank you"

Bridgerton House

Eloise rushed into her brother Colin's study "Colin. I have an address for Pen"

He looked at her frustrated "Do you wish to write?"

Eloise did not notice his hind of sarcasm "Do you not think it's smart?" She spoke sneakily.

Colin huffed. He grabbed a pen and started to copy the address down on his own paper. Once written down, he placed it in his pocket. Tapping the fabric for good measure.

He reached for his coat and bag declaring "I'm getting her back"

"But brother" she called at him but he was already half out the door "it's the middle of the night"

He was gone. Eloise just looked at the paper on the desk. Please be well, Pen