P. A. Featherington

(22) Wires Crossed

Did she have no idea what that meant to him, what she means to him. It frustrated him how much he cared for her, annoyingly so that he did not realise how much. He looked at her unsure what to say. Perhaps, she did not want this. I could not blame her. All the hurt I caused.

"If that is what you wish, Pen?"

"Is there something else I should wish for, Colin?"

Did she really not know.

"We are friends, are we not?"

Apparently not.

"Pen, please come back with me"

Pen shot up "This was your plan? To seduce me so I would feel obligated to come home with you" using himself as an incentive to get him back in her graces. The nerve of this man.

"What no. Pen you seduced me!"

She shot him a glare that meant 'hold your tongue'

"It was not I that was fondling you all night, rubbing your hardness onto me"

Colin gave an exhausted growl "Pen, you are the one that requested we share a bed..."

"And you agreed..." she was correct. Perhaps he was a fool.

"I did not want you sharing with Blake" Pen frowned at his disgust. Slapping him across the face sharply.

Colin quickly recoiled. "Were you not listening. Blake likes men. For goodness sake, you need to leave now before I murder you" her hand was thrown up in annoyance, getting her point across.

Colin stood his ground "Pen, let me explain"

"You've said enough" her tone clipped.

Shit. Now he had done it. No way would he get away with asking her to marry him now. She would think it out of pity. Nothing was further from the truth.

He left her with one thing to think about "I came to find you because I realised that not only did I miss you but that I wanted to spend every day for the rest of my life with you"

He got changed and left. Leaving Pen perplexed. What did he mean by that. Colin Bridgerton spinning me about as always.

Colin left in defeat. His hand touching the aftermath of Pens hostility. I can't believe she hit me. No one's ever hit me and have a large family. She hates me. My god, Penelope Featherington hates me. I laid her bare, took her woman hood and then insulted her like she was no more than a stone in my boot. A hindrance. What gives me the right to question her, to assume dominance. What a cruel joke, I am.

Miss Penelope Feathering sat at the foot of her bed. Replaying the events that had just occurred. The more she thought of Colin's face, of his perfect smile and his striking dark blue eyes, the more angry she felt. Not just anger, disappointment perhaps. He was such a charmer. She should have known better for a man like that to ever. Maybe she wasn't even disappointed in him, was she disappointed in herself? For letting things get so far, so fast. Begging for more, like he was some trophy to be won. She needed him. What is a lady to do when such a man comes and claims her. Should I sent a thank you note or bury my head deep down low.

Mr Colin Bridgerton, charmer of ladies. Idiot, to a fault. What have I done. I was supposed to bring her back to where she belongs. Not keep her away. What have I bloody done. She will never forgive me for this last transgression. Eloise will be disappointed in me. Worse, I hate myself for this. Only just when I was beginning to realise that I really care for her. I feel I am Eros wounding myself with my own arrow. All this time she may have actually cared for me. Now all I can think about is how I feel like i'm falling and Pen is the only one who can catch me.

If she cared for me back. Well, that would truly be a beautiful thing to behold. A flash of her naked body hit him. How have i mucked this up so dramatically. I'm a prize fool. She's never going to want me know. Do I want her to want me, that is the question. She is the air that I breath, and now leaving her behind, I find myself choking on that irreversible emotion, regret.

"Margaret, are you well? I heard raised voices"

Pen forced a smile. Her breathing started to get more intense. Blake walked across to the bed. Breathed in her sorrows with an embrace "If he does not see what a truly remarkable woman you are, then that is his fault. Not yours"

"Thank you"

"So" he raised an eyebrow "Miss Penelope Featherington, aye?"

She smirked "Are you angry that I lied"

He shook his head "Not at all. You told me that you wished to go by Margaret. You never insinuated that was your actual name"

Pen sniffed. Blake passed her a tissue "Do you know what the most difficult thing in this world is?"

Pen drew a blank, he continued "Not loving someone, that is easy. But rather, letting someone have the courage to love you back"

He passed her a drink "You don't get a second chance in life Margaret" he corrected himself "Penelope" he knocked his should comforting into hers "So we must make the most of the time we have and the people that make getting up in the morning a joy and not a hiderence"

"How did you get so wise?"

"I think Henry is rubbing off on me"

Pen smirked. Mumbling "In more ways then one!"

Blake laughed "Touche" he looked at her with his soft brown eyes, that were hauntingly beautiful "Whatever you decide. Whether it be to stay, or to go. Just know you will always have a place for you here. Whenever you need it"

"I can not leave you, not now!"

"You can. Just know that I expect farewell drinks before you part, at the tavern"

"It's a deal. Perhaps, Mrs Randle can sneak us some of her potent concoction"

Blake laughed "That clearly knocked me out last time"

"It was delicious"

"Rightfully so, but it should come with a warning"