P. A. Featherington

(26) A Proposal

In Colin's study, he was glaring over the maps of Ireland, which seemed useless now considering Pen was staying.

Pen walked in without knocking.

Colin's gaze went to her, relief written all over it.

"I thought you left"

"The Queen is forcing me to stay"

"Surely she did not mean my home, Pen"

Pen walked closer "Are you going on another adventure, Colin?"

"Not anymore"

"This is what I didn't want to happen. I will take care of the child while you are away"

Pens eyes dropped to the name on the map "Galway"

"You are going back to Ireland?"

He spoke fast to get all he wanted to say out there "I planned to move there, to be closer to.." he shook his head in relief "You"

"What?" Her eyes flew wide.

"After I returned I came up with plans to move over and stay near you, in the hopes of one day you would" he paused for a second, head tilted slightly downward, in hopes she would return his sentiment. His eyes focused on her once more "Love me back" his voice softened.

"Love you back?" Pen questioned. Unsure what the hell was going on, trembling under his serious gaze.

"Pen. I love you. I have loved you for an achingly long time and I don't know what you need to do first before you can fully trust me again. However long it takes" his breath dry "I love you"

Pen stepped closer and kissed him on the cheek, before stepping back once more. It was a gentle caress of his cheek. It was an apology for not realising it sooner. When he was ripping his hair out trying to admit it. "As you once told me. When one finds oneself in such an incredible position. Then one must declare it. Assuredly. Fervently. Loudly" He remember those words for so long ago. A loose tear ran down her cheek. She sniffed her tears away. Wiping the tear away.

"Do you love me, Pen?"

"All my life" she shuffled under his burning gaze "I've never loved anyone else"

"Then Penelope Anne Featherington, will you make me the happiest man in the world, and consent to be my wife"

Pen felt as though Thor himself had struck her. She had always dreamed of a life with Colin. A dream when they would be happily married with some children enjoying Pall Mall with the Bridgerton family. While her mother and sisters sat with Lady Bridgerton watching them play.

This was too much. Perhaps, he panicked. She would hate for him to change his mind. He had not thought this through.

He reached into a drawer, pulling out a ring.

Pens eyes grew large "You already had a ring?"

He really had thought about it?

Colin nodded. He didn't want to admit that he had had it ever since he left for the Mediterranean. Unsure what the feeling was that plagued him so. He kept it hoping one day he would know for certain. It was in no way the same feeling that resided when Marina was around. She made him feel important, he wanted to impress her. Show her all he thought love would be. Thinking back he didn't know he tried so hard for a lady's affection who he didn't know.

If he had got to learn more, perhaps he would have realised her true intentions. What was worse, was that Pen had warned him. Told him, she loved another. But he was so blind to her beauty to see it. How it must have broken Pen's heart that he took no heed to her concerns of matters of his heart.

The difference between her and Penelope was unparalleled. Pen didn't want Colin to impress her. She wanted him, just as he is. He didn't need bouquets of flowers, forced flattery. Simply being himself was enough.

If he could go back to the past, he would look to Penelope that moment he fell off his damn horse. She would yet be out in society yet, but he would wait for her, however long it took before making his intentions known.

If he fell for her that long ago, he would imagine they would already be happily married with a couple of kids. Travelling together.

Colin stood there perplexed. He had yet to receive her answer. Pen's eyes were locked on his. A little smile curved at the edges of her lips.

"Colin. Is this what you truly want. I do not want you to ask if there is any small doubt or just because I am with child"

"Pen.." he grimaced ".. did you not just here my speech?" he motioned around the room.

She placed her fears out there for him to see "I do not believe I deserve you" her eyes looked glassy like she may burst into tears in any moment.

After all this time, why do the shadows still feel more comfortable than reality. Colin was meant for something bigger and meant for someone better than myself. How can I compare to those girls. I am nothing. A nobody. A wallflower.

"... and you believe me worthy of you?" he coughed jokingly. He softened his tone "You are beautiful, kind, witty. A joy to be around. You make me feel seen in a way that I have never been seen before. You are a wonder, Penelope Featherington. A jewel that shines brighter than any other."

Pen was taking rather elated breaths. His words were like melted gold and she was drowning in it. She licked her lips nervously. He started to close the distance between them once more. Her gaze on his eyes not faulting for a moment. Pen watched as he turned his fingers toward her to sooth his thumb along her bottom lip. It trembled under his warm touch.

She closed her eyes, as if trying to imprint his touch to her memory. He tilted her face up with his index finger. Her eyelashes fluttered. If she needed any more convincing. He spoke softly down to her "Who in their right mind, would not want such a jewel"

Then there were no more words. No more speeches. Just the flames in their eyes. The passionate words awaiting to leave their lips and the knowledge that whatever happens next, they have each other.