I don't know

14

Ally had taken Sierra out to get ice-cream so Sydney and Cam were home with Anthony currently. Sydney loved her room just as much as the other 2 did and was currently running around the living room with Cam chasing after her, holding a plastic sword.

'Cameron Frederic!' Anthony exclaimed when Cam had prodded Sydney with the sword and she began to cry. Anthony instantly rushed to her side and rubbed the part of her body where Cam had prodded her. Cam stood there guiltily, head hung.

'Cameron, go the corner.' Anthony said, pointing to the nearest corner of the living room. Cam frowned but trudged towards the corner, stuffing his nose into it after he discarded the sword on the sofa.

'You ok, love?' Anthony asked as Sydney's cries turned into sniffles.

'Yeah.' She said, resting her head on his shoulder. 'Can I get a cookie?'

'Course you can.' Anthony said walking over to the kitchen counter top and placing Sydney on it before pulling out the packet of cookies and handing her one. 'Don't tell mommy.'

Sydney nodded as Anthony helped her down and she ran into her room, probably to go play with her toys. And then there was one.

'Cam turn around.' Anthony said crouching down when he got to Cam. The boy turned around, tears streaming down his own face. Anthony sighed before wiping away his tears with his hand.

'Why'd you do that? That wasn't nice.' Anthony said as more tears sprung into Cam's eyes. He hated being in trouble.

'I didn't mean to. It was an accident.' He said, looking Anthony in the eye. Anthony knew he was telling the truth so he nodded.

'OK. But you're not playing with the sword anymore. Go apologise and then go play.' Anthony said as Cam quickly ran into the girls' room to apologise to his sister.

Anthony frowned as he went back to the kitchen table to finish the article he was working on.

Then, a certain trinket box caught his eye. The same one Tom had left Anthony. He had left it on top of the countertop but had never gotten around to it. He glanced back at his article and decided the Premier League could wait.

He opened it up delicately, and their was a letter on the top of the box. Anthony's eyebrows instantly shot up as he set the note aside to read it later. He then scoured the contents of the box.

He picked up the stack of photographs and looked through them, smiling softly. They were each labelled with a date. They included- Anthony as a 6-year-old smiling with a gap in his teeth, 13-year-old Anthony holding his little brother, Austin's birth with Archie looming over the baby while Anthony held him, Anthony's graduation day, The day Ally and Anthony tied the knot and many more sweet memories. 

Anthony set the photos aside and then pulled out a mini teddy bear that was the size of Anthony's thumb. He then pulled out a small ring. It was plain silver ring with 'James' engraved in it. It looked so delicate and Anthony could remember his dad wearing it. However, the engravement was always facing him.

Anthony gently slipped off his wedding ring - which, for some reason, he forgot to take off - and inserted this ring in its place. He then began searching through the rest of the box and it was filled with things he had seen his dad wear over the years.

He then moved on to the hardest bit. Reading the letter. He slowly unfolded it and read it in his head.

Dear Anthony,

I have so much I need to say to you. I am so sorry I couldn't say this while I was actually alive but that was because I was scared. Scared you wouldn't accept my apology and move away even further, breaking your mother's heart.

I know you are wondering about many things. I left you the apartment because I felt it would be a great place for your own kids to grow up in (though you have a gorgeous house already). And in all of my boys, you were the only one who had seen that house. You had loved that house. You had even named it. I can vividly remember that you were sobbing the day we were moving. Your mother even had to bribe you with cookies.

The ring is an heirloom. I was given it by my father and his father gave him it. I hope one day you will be able to pass it on. The bear was a small token I had won at a theme park when you were around two, and I thought you might want it.

Anthony, I am so sorry. I thought what I was doing was best for you. However, it is quite obvious that I was wrong. You have built yourself a wonderful career. You have a wonderful family who loves you. I am sorry for forcing things that my own father forced on me. I wish I could have fixed things with you while you were still alive, but sadly, that wasn't an opportunity. I love you, Anthony, and I might not have said it much while I was alive, but I am proud of where you are today. I hope you can be a better father to Cam than I was to you.

Regards,
Thomas .R. James

Anthony felt tears flowing down his face. He couldn't stop them even if he tried to. He walked over to the sink and tried splashing water on his face but the tears still found their way out of his eyes. He stood over the sink and began crying heart-breaking sobs.

He could never tell his father he loved him. He could never say goodbye.

'Anthony!' Ally said as she and Sierra entered through the front door. Sierra's eyes widened and she ran into her bedroom leaving Ally and Anthony.

'What's the matter?' Ally asked as she instantly took Anthony into her arms as Anthony sobbed into her shoulder. She rubbed her back soothingly in circles as he continued crying. She had never seen him like this in all the 17 years she had known him. Something had obviously happened.

Her eyes ran across the room and when she spotted the letter and the trinket box, the pieces all began to fall in place. Her own eyes began to glimmer with tears. She them spotted Cam, Sierra and Sydney staring at their parents, confused and worried.

'Back to your rooms.' Ally said softly and they obeyed, obviously frightened to why their father was crying.

Anthony finally calmed down and slowly prised himself out of Ally's arms. 'I'm sorry.' His voice hoarse.

'You have nothing to apologise for.' Ally said as he sat down on the sofa and buried his head in his hands.

'I never said goodbye, Ally. And I never will. I never told him I loved him one last time.'