I don't know

30

Anthony smiled as he looked around him. The hall was filled with people- Tom's classmates, close friends and family. It was decorated simply yet it was pleasing to look at -credits going to Sheila. Lucia was talking to a few of the guests, looking elegant in er simple lack dress, with her brown curls let down. Austin tagged along with his mum in his white button up and black blazer. Archie was wearing a similar outfit to Austin and was sitting down a few rows back.

Anthony went up to his brother and sat down next to him, a hand resting on his thigh. Archie smiled at Anthony, grateful he was there.

Anthony was proud of his relationship with his brother, especially seeing how damaged it was a year ago. Archie had changed drastically since. All of them had.

'How'd you feel?' he asked as Archie shrugged.

'I miss him. I  feel bad I was out gallivanting when he died. I wish I could've been there.' Archie said, looking down. That was the one decision he would always feel bad about.

'I do too. I wish I could've fixed things with him.' Anthony said, as he got past the lump in his throat.

Before Archie could say something, Austin joined them, taking a seat on the other side of Anthony.

'People can waffle on for a long time.' Austin remarked as both Anthony and Archie let out a laugh.

Anthony looked around them, 'Lets go shall we? People are coming in and Mum will want to start soon.'

The 3 brothers got up and walked towards the front of the hall. Anthony was right, the hall was filling  up quickly. Damon and Sheila were seated in the front row and Damon was smiling at his friend.. Lucia approached them as she smoothed down her dress.

'Let's start?' she asked, kissing Austin's hair and ruffling Archie's hair.

Ally rushed in then, wearing her own black dress. She went by and stood next to Anthony.

'You drop them off at Josie's?' Anthony asked, referring to the triplets.

Ally nodded as Anthony smiled and turned back to the event taking place. Ally and him would always be good friends, they just weren't meant for each other.

'Hello! Thank you for gathering here today.' Lucia said as she spoke into the mic they had set up on the stage. She caught everyone's attention and continued talking. 'It's been a year since my husband died and let's just say its been a hard year.'

'I never imagined I'd lose my husband so early. I always thought I had more years with him. In fact I even made him agree that we would either die together or I would die first.' she said, letting out a slight laugh and making other people laugh too. 'Things don't always go the way we want them too.'

'Tom was the first love in my life. We met in college and until then, I didn't know a man could be so handsome but also a bit brain-dead.' Lucia said, making the room laugh yet again. Anthony smiled too, his arm around Austin's shoulder. 

'We got married and straight out of college we  had our eldest -Anthony . What more could I want than to watch the man I loved become a father?'

Anthony bowed his head letting a tear slip from his face.

'And after one magical night, we found out I was pregnant yet again. After 13 years, I was pregnant again. had my little boy Archie. And 2 years later we had Austin. Tom was a wonderful father and husband and he deserved so much more. That incredible man learnt Spanish in 4 months for our wedding as he wanted to make his vows in Spanish - my mother tongue. That one thing alone can tell you how amazing he was. We all miss you Tom. Terribly.' Lucia said, wiping the tears that had silently slid off of her face. She wanted to say so much more but she couldn't. This was breaking her heart enough as is.  She smiled at Ally before walking off. It was Austin's turn now.

'Remember if you don't want to do this, no one will judge you.' Lucia said as Austin nodded.

'I want to.' he said as he walked over to the middle of the stage.

'When I was 11, I was terrified of starting new, big school. The morning of school, I hid under my covers not wanting to get up. Mama tried to pour water on me but Dad stopped her. He sent Archie out of the room cuz he couldn't stop laughing. He talked to me. Reassured me all my fears weren't true and I wouldn't end up getting lost on my first day and arrive 20 minutes late to class. I didn't.' Austin said, smiling. 'I'm upset I only got 13 years with him. I wish I could've had more. But I'm grateful I had him as my dad.'

Austin also finished it there and gt off the stage, hugging his mom the moment he did. She wiped a tear away from his face and looked at Archie. 

'The same thing I said for Austin, goes for you too.'

Archie looked up and shook his head. 'I can't. I'm sorry, I just can't.'

Lucia pulled Archie into her, 'That's ok. You don't have to give a speech to show how much you love him.'

She then turned to Ally, 'Wanna go?'

Ally nodded as she took Austin's position. She kept it short and sweet, mentioning how Tom was her father figure and the sweet moments she had with him.She smiled and also got down the stage, wiping a tear off of her face. 

'Anthony?'

'I'll go at the end.' he smiled as Dilys began her heartbreaking speech about her brother. She only got two words out before she began to sob inconsolably. She had to be escorted off by her husband and son. 

Many other friends and family, went up to talk about Thomas James and Anthony realised how much people had respected and valued his father. Anthony smiled to himself before he noticed he was crying. They all were. Everyone treated grief differently, some kept themselves busy, some acted out and some poured themselves into something they loved.

'Anthony? It's your turn or we can get started on the food.'

Anthony sighed loudly walking up on the stage slowly, and taking the mic into his hands.

'My dad and I never had the best relationship. Ever since I chose my GCSE's, every conversation I can remember with my father was either strained, or filled with shouting.  I thought he was trying to ruin my life, like all teenagers do and it was only after he died, I wish I had more time with him. He loved me so much yet we never worked out our differences and came to an understanding where we could just hug it out. It took 15 years, for me to understand why he did what he did. My Dad was amazing. He was a splendid father, he was a wonderful grandpa to my children and I can only hope to be half the father he was.I regret not working things out but I'm glad I know he loved me, since the day I was born. I won't keep you any longer as I'm sure many of you are getting hungry. Thank you for being here today.' Anthony said, walking off stage.

The moment he stepped down Austin hugged him tight and pulled away, grinning. Archie followed after that and then Lucia hugged him. 

'He would be so proud.' she muttered into his ear before she pulled away.

Anthony James was a lucky man. He was surrounded by family and friends who all cared for him. He would regret the fact he never made up with his father before his death but he was happy he was able to express his grief.

He didn't know many things but he knew one thing. He would always be surrounded by the people he loved and cared for. He would always regret that he never said 'I love you' to his dad one last time but he knew his dad would always be with him, until the day Anthony passed. But until then he was going to enjoy the little moments with his family as you never know how long you have left with them.