Ashes of an Impossible Love

I Still Think About You

I come home with the same carefree joy of a child after hours of play, with a light heart and a smile on my lips. I feel a serene happiness that completely invades me. While I remove my makeup, I feel a peace that I haven't experienced for a long time, a calm that envelops me and comforts me. I get ready for bed, wishing the night would last long enough to savor this moment.

When I finally drop my head on the pillow, a surge of emotions engulfs me. The intrigue begins to awaken inside me, and I can't help but smile when I remember what happened. It didn't seem real to me, but it was. The chemistry between us is still there, palpable, undeniable. I run my fingers gently over my lips, trying to capture the feeling of that intense kiss we shared, a kiss that awakened memories that I thought were forgotten. I had forgotten what it felt like when Mason kissed me, how his touch could turn me on inside.

I wonder if he's thinking about me too right now, if his mind is as full of us as mine is. What is going through his head right now? That doubt consumes me, feeding a latent desire that grows with every passing second. A message from him gets me out of doubt:

— Cherry, tonight has been amazing. You don't know how glad I am that you agreed to have dinner with me. 

— I really enjoyed it too. It was a special night.

— I can't stop thinking about how beautiful you looked. You really left me speechless.

What does he really mean by that? Is he implying something else?

— Thank you, Mason.— I am glad to know that I met my goal.

— But the thing that left me thinking the most was that kiss... I was left wanting more, Cherry. Why didn't you want to stay?

— I think it was enough for one night after such a long time of not seeing or talking to each other. It's been years. We both have a lot to process, Mason.

It is difficult for me to express what I feel in words. There is so much in my head and in my heart that I don't know how to put it in order.

— Next time then...

I bite my lip, torn between desire and fear of what may come next. I love him, I feel it in every fiber of my being, but the consequences scare me. Not knowing how to put into words what I really feel, I reply to him with a simple emoji, hoping that he will understand what I dare not say. I put the phone on do not disturb mode and settle into bed, feeling a mixture of relief and satisfaction that invades me. I fall asleep with a gentle smile, knowing that, at least for tonight, things are fine.

I wake up confused by the insistent sound of the doorbell. I wasn't expecting anyone, so my first impulse is to ignore it, but whoever it is, is not planning on giving up. Resigned I get out of bed, I go to the doorbell's phone and reluctantly, I ask:

— Who is it?

— Cherry, it's me, let me up.

It's Mason. A sudden panic comes over me. I open the door of the building for him as I run to the bathroom. I brush my teeth and comb my hair quickly, trying to get completely clear. He's still waiting for me to open the door to my flat. Before doing so, I stop in front of the mirror and notice that I'm wearing a short black silk nightgown and rabbit flip-flops. I hate it when people come unannounced. I take a breath and open the door.

— What's up, sleeping beauty? Don't tell me I woke you up.

I wrinkle my nose, confirming his assumption. Mason laughs, with that carefree laugh of his.

— I've brought you breakfast, my queen.— He says to me in a slightly mocking tone.

— Come on in. — I make a gesture with my hand, still somewhat sleepy.